Latest update on Friend

He is moved, from a large house with shop to a 1 bedroom with den condo.

So much was taken to the dump, three 5-ton loads plus the couple in my pickup. My Wife and I spent several days sorting through stuff and making piles of trash, donate and items we took ourselves. We did find items that had significance which would have ended up in the garbage if we hadn't gone through the piles and set them aside.

Still has too much stuff and has been picking away at it. The chemo has lowered his energy levels, so progress is slow. He still has the two dog and a cat to deal with because he feels like he would be ruining their lives by re-homing them, yet, their need for constant attention taxes his patience, and he doesn't have a lot of that.

Far as I can tell, he is still angry with his late Wife. Not just because she had kept so much financial stuff hidden from him, we are all sure that she hid her own physical issues from everyone, leading to her sudden death.

Currently, he is angry with his Oncologist, and has told me he is not going to do any more chemo until he gets a different Dr., risky behaviour at best, toddler tantrum most likely. I get that chemo does shit-kick your body, makes you feel drained and messes with your thought processes, however, his decision (IMHO) is reckless. I understand his reluctance to continue and respect his decision, even if I think it unwise. He's an adult.

Still resisting the idea that he NEEDS to get some therapy to help deal with everything that has happened in this year, and the ones leading up to it.

I've tried to gently point out that she's gone, he's free from the crippling debt, still standing and now, any messes to clean are his alone.

I call him every few days, just to check in. I will see him again in December when we go back to spend Christmas with our Daughter and family. I hope he makes some forward progress in both his mental and physically health. Maybe he'll come for dinner.

@WarnerBro

I don't know if you are familiar with Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project which has been mostly credited with coining the modern use of Incel.

From the Wikipedia article;

Who Qualified as Incel?

Someone who has never dated, or not dated in a long time, but would like to, is involuntarily celibate Someone going through long periods of not dating anyone Those who, for one reason or another, have difficulty meeting someone for a sexual relationship Those with no or very little experience with sex and dating Someone with experience of dating and sex, but not for many years Those who are in a relationship, but for one reason or another their partner desires sex very infrequently or not at all Those who are sexually inactive while wishing to be otherwise Those with an inability to form relationships Those married, but the "spark" is gone: little or no sex, little or no love. Those who have intense difficulty dating, searching for a mate Those who just want to get laid, and can't for some reason Your Geek Code contains r--, r---, !r, r*, z, z--, !z, or !z+ Not being able to express oneself sexually due to circumstances that are difficult to control (this would include those who are socially phobic, shy, disfigured, homosexual, sexually disfunctional, marcels, the handicapped, prisoners, mentally ill, pedophiles or whatever else...the list is infinite)[3]

As can be seen by this list, it's not just confined to Dorito dust-covered Males that nest in their Parent's basement.