It has been a bit of a journey already. Week 3 of no contact with the ex. Focusing on myself. I've reconnected with old friends from various places. Made time with colleagues.

I've made a goal to do 20k steps a day minimum, as walking is something i enjoy. I pick somewhere out in nature. Switch my phone off.

Part of my process has also been forcing myself to confront the reality that there are better women than my ex out there. It has been tough, with thoughts creeping in about her going back home and potentially hooking up with friends/exes. I talk myself out of it because really, its not my business anymore. I've had moments where i think of her. I've had rougher moments where i just wanted to be alone.

Writing and journalling has helped a lot.

I've been reading resources on here.

Positive news is i have a couple of dates lined up. Japanese girl and Nigerian girl. Both in person meets. Low effort.

I am dreading that we are approaching the date that was softly agreed upon as the minimum i would take. Part of me wants to speak to her. Part of me doesn't. I can't decide. I don't know if it will help me or revert me to my old ways.

Any advice for me?

I've had major epiphanies post break up that I've never really internalised. Been making changes.

Ive been messaging and I'm planning to hook up with a girl that is an absolute closeted slut.

At first it was "You know I'm not only interested in just sex" and the usual ASD stuff.

Fast forward a week. She's calling me daddy. Telling me how her pussy is mine and that she will do whatever I want. Sending me vids and pics. I know she would never be girlfriend or wife material. She's plate material. Nothing more.

The other changes are I've been reaching out to old buddies to meet up. I have next to no social network and I realise I don't make time for myself. I met up with one of my friends from work for coffee and a catch up outside work.

Ive signed up to the gym. Making changes to what I'm eating. Starting Intermittent Fasting.

Chatting to new people everyday. Practicing making conversation. To shake off the cobwebs from not really having social networks.

All a step at a time. I appreciate the knowledge shared on here. This is the last bastion left for men.

@Changecomesfromwithin

Things have progressed the way I thought they would.

A mutual break up with my "gf" who I met originally being her other guy while she had a bf of 6 years. To the it just being us. All in all a year and two months.

We met up. Had a coffee. Broke up. Continued to message.

Then we met a week later for a "date" and then a couple days later I went to her place and we fucked. Which I knew she was ready for because she had her netting lingerie and panties on waiting for me.

Then we woke up. I went away. She said she loved me.

I was an idiot and tried to ask on the phone when we would next meet. She said that it was all a bit sudden and that what happened didn't change the reasons why we broke up. That she was busy this weekend so she couldn't meet.

Then she was disrespectful and mocking of my spiritual practices.

I realised then that I am at a position where she is trying to make me fit into her life and I don't see the value anymore. A life with her would have been one where at any moment, she could sleep with some other dude, I'd be expected to communicate about things (the whole polyamory community values expressing needs and feelings) and she has clear signs that she gets bored easily. A relationship of 6 years monogamous became polyamourous likely because of boredom. The dude didn't want to be and she strong armed him. They broke up months after I started dating her.

I decided to go no contact and refocus on myself. I've lost my way. I don't have a purpose. I'm less fit. I don't have a job I'm passionate about. I need to put in work on myself.

Any recommendations for relevant articles or books to help?

Take things step by step, day by day. If the sidebar's content is too demanding or complex for you right now, then check out both the selection of books and training programs on the fitness enthusiasts tribes respectively. Best of luck to you.

Things have progressed the way I thought they would.

A mutual break up with my "gf" who I met originally being her other guy while she had a bf of 6 years. To the it just being us. All in all a year and two months.

We met up. Had a coffee. Broke up. Continued to message.

Then we met a week later for a "date" and then a couple days later I went to her place and we fucked. Which I knew she was ready for because she had her netting lingerie and panties on waiting for me.

Then we woke up. I went away. She said she loved me.

I was an idiot and tried to ask on the phone when we would next meet. She said that it was all a bit sudden and that what happened didn't change the reasons why we broke up. That she was busy this weekend so she couldn't meet.

Then she was disrespectful and mocking of my spiritual practices.

I realised then that I am at a position where she is trying to make me fit into her life and I don't see the value anymore. A life with her would have been one where at any moment, she could sleep with some other dude, I'd be expected to communicate about things (the whole polyamory community values expressing needs and feelings) and she has clear signs that she gets bored easily. A relationship of 6 years monogamous became polyamourous likely because of boredom. The dude didn't want to be and she strong armed him. They broke up months after I started dating her.

I decided to go no contact and refocus on myself. I've lost my way. I don't have a purpose. I'm less fit. I don't have a job I'm passionate about. I need to put in work on myself.

Any recommendations for relevant articles or books to help?