Broke frame, girl lost interest, how to recover?
Hey guys. I fumbled a woman so hard and this has kept me wondering how to win her back. I don't need to do this, of course, but I want to try to do it to see what happens.
She is the kind of woman that is independent, has lots of friends and constantly hangs out with them, gives the impression that she doesn't chase, and defintely likes men who are secure about themselves, not clingy or insecure men. I have noticed she also does a ton of shit tests, questioning things I say, for example, to see if I own up to my ideas or if I try to justify them with desperation, if I go into discussions I didnt even wanna go into in the first place.
I started our interactions with a great frame, being secure, independent, not giving too much information, not being needy in any way. We went out on some dates, she slept at my place 3 or 4 times, but I began to like her too much and began to act desperately. As she was NOT head over heels for me after maybe 4 weeks going out, I started to become fearful I would lose her. I stopped being that guy that is self confident, doesn't fear rejection, does not chase, has other choices, exactly the thing that this woman seem to like. I started to act needy, she noticed it, i folded when she questioned me with shit tests. I made the mistake of trying to have a conversation with her on where we were standing, and then her interest started to fade - I felt I sounded insecure when asking about her intentions, and mentioned I was more interested in her than in any other girls. Big mistake. Last time she slept at my place 2 weeks ago was terrible, she just went to sleep after some 2 hours together and she left first thing in the morning. Now shes been ghosting me since then.
I want to fix all of this, but i dont know how. if she already has this vision that I am weak and insecure, don't have other choices (I actually do, but made the mistake of telling her she was the only girl I was really interested in) it should be very hard to change it. But i want to give it a shot. I am thinking of letting 1 or 2 weeks go by and then just send her a text saying something like "Hey, i know i was off last time we met, had my mind elsewhere. lets fix that? X place, 8pm, this Saturday, you in?" Honestly I cant think of anything else that would sound better. What do you guys think? If this doesnt work then its obviously over and Im just going to move on.
edit: added some more detail
I've no clue what she's done for you to hold her in such high regard, but you should definitely consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read More
