Hey everyone,
I've been with my girlfriend for a while. We spent about two years just casual without her pressuring me for a title. She finally did the "what are we" thing, and I agreed to be in a relationship. Fast forward another two years since that "what are we" conversation.
We don’t text at all. I find that texting is useless—it makes them lose attraction, you lose mystery, and it looks like you have nothing else to do. So we only text when we’re about to meet up. We meet about twice a week, and things have been smooth with minimal disputes. Other than the issues im going to say below, she is VERY cooperative and maybe the best behaved girlfriend I've had. Not emotional/no crazy change of emotions.
Lately, though, I’ve noticed when I walk over while she’s on her phone, she gets a little more guarded. I called her out on it and she no longer does it. She claims she doesn't mean to and even said you can look at my phone if you want to. I called her on her bluff and took it, just to see her reaction...then 10 seconds later I gave it back without even looking. The other weekend she switched our usual Saturday meet-up to Sunday for a "girls' weekend". When we met on Wednesday, she mentioned staying in NYC from Friday to Sunday, going to bars, and "getting numbers from bartenders for her single friend." I again said something about this and she made like she understood.
Fast forward to this past Saturday. We're out to a nice restaurant having a good time. and right as the dinner is ending she said yeah last night I was out with some friends and one of my friends was talking to a cop. He said to her "dont make me put you in handcuffs." and I said "dont threaten me with a good time." In my mind I was like damn...like I really couldn't believe what I was hearing. I just calmly said "why would you even tell me this?" Then I just stayed silent, she saw I wasn't happy about it. I drive back to my place where my stuff is and I just said "You say you want to see me more, but I really can't take you serious when things like this keep happening" She then says 'Well the cop was like 70 and I was just telling you because you know how I always say dumb stuff"..So her stuff was in my house to stay the night and I just said well you're not staying here, and I got her stuff while she waited outside and she left.
Conversation: imgur.com/a/2Q2d46h The next day is where these texts happened. Honestly I just didn't want to talk about anything and just needed my space. In my mind I'm not sure any change could happen. I feel as if shed just hide things even better and not change her behavior. So I didn't answer when she called. Part of that was because I was genuinely busy, but the other part was me just not wanting to talk to her. The next day I sent a text out telling her that I just needed space and time to think things over. To let her know Im not ignoring her. She takes that as I'm breaking up with her over text and uses the famous feminism word... calling me "insecure."
What do you think I should do in this instance...I'm not sure shed be good as a girlfriend but maybe I could keep her as a plate
With modern females, familiarity tends to breed contempt. For guys, comfort leads to complacency and complacency is the enemy of success. You've been seeing this female for two years so far. If you didn't see her as girlfriend material before, what's changed to inspire you to do so now? Knowing what you do, why even keep her as a plate? Mind you, these are entirely rhetorical questions.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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