Why would she be inconsistent if she is forthcoming about her plans?
I've been in an exclusive relationship with a woman for two months, known her for seven. The sex is great, and she's nurturing, caring, and consistent in her behavior. Communication is open, and she’s forthcoming about her plans. We're currently in a long distance dynamic but she's moving here next month.
The issue: She’s been vague and inconsistent about a male co-worker. Months ago (when we weren’t exclusive), she mentioned going out with colleagues and described this guy as a family man in his 40s. Recently, she said she was going out with "girls and one guy" when I asked if it was the same guy, she said yes but corrected herself from "40s" to "30." Later on the phone I found out he's not married like she claimed, and she said we were probably talking about another coworker. (I am sure this detail was a lie, but why she lied is up for questioning).
I also found out she hasn’t told her colleagues that she’s in a relationship. She downplays her relationship with colleagues a lot. But I saw she talks with this guy outside of work (exchanging Instagram videos). Contradicting her claim of not talking to them outside work, she’s even left her cat at his place when visiting me 2 months ago.
Given how open she is otherwise, I am contemplating whether this is a serious concern or just plain overthinking? Especially since I don't understand why she's doing this as her behavior hasn't changed in the slightest.
This reads like a non-issue borne out of fear and speculation on your part.
You're in one town while she's in another. You both have to work to support yourselves. In that time you both will be working with people of the opposite sex, some of whom maybe better looking than the person you're currently with. Until you can transition this relationship of yours back to an in-person one fixating on this will only grow your anxiety into distrust. This is why it's oftentimes best to not maintain long-distance relationships and end things if you ever have to relocate for schooling or work.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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