@WokeDown
Absolutely.
First off, when I say "speaking women's language", I don't speaking the way a woman would. If you just copy the things women say, or their patterns of speech, they will react with revulsion, and rightly off. It's fake, and you're trying to bullshit them.
What I mean by speaking their language is speaking from a knowledge of their worldview and priorities in a way that is relevant to them.
Here's what an example would look like:
Let us suppose that I have encountered some chick at a party who is complaining about how women are oppressed and men are horrible because it's not safe for a woman to walk around in certain neighborhoods at night.
So, this is an evil man-hating feminist, right? And if I'm trying to pump and dump, I should change the subject, or better yet, avoid her, because you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear, right?
Well... maybe.
But suppose I don't want to fuck her, I just want to communicate with her... effectively.
If I interpret her words as a man would, I would say.... Bullshit. You are in fact, far more safe walking the streets at night than a man would be. We have the statistics, and we know that men are far more likely to be attacked by strangers, far more likely to be injured, far more likely to be killed. You are in a position of privilege, and pretending to be the victim in order to rubbish men.
This wouldn't foster any sort of productive dialogue. It would all be true, of course... IF we interpret what she says literally. But women usually don't speak literally. They speak in metaphors, and they don't see that as obscure or deceptive, because they are so familiar with this argot that it's crystal clear to them, and to any other woman who is listening.
It doesn't always occur to them that men have our language, and don't speak theirs.
In woman-speak, what she's saying might mean something different.
Maybe if I understand that women primarily talk about emotions rather than facts, she's not saying men ARE horrible, she's saying she FEELS horrible because she's afraid of men.
And then, if I also understand that women use hyperbole to express vehement emotions, then I know she's not saying she's actually in that much danger, she's saying she feels very afraid, and it's very uncomfortable.
So then maybe I put the pieces together and realize that she's not afraid of being murdered or raped by a random stranger. She doesn't think that's going to happen at all. She KNOWS the odds of that are astronomically low.
She's afraid of feeling helpless. When some strange dude, usually a stormtrooper, catcalls her on the street, her problem isn't thinking she's going to be dragged into an alley and raped. She knows that's almost never going to happen, because even stormtroopers mostly aren't that anti-social.
Her problem is that she knows he COULD, and if he did, there wouldn't be a damn thing that she could do about it. Compared to her, he's basically a wild animal, like a wolf, leopard, or baboon. If he decides to be aggressive, she's toast. She is dependent for her existence upon his forbearance.
Now, notice that when I explain it that way, explain what she's actually saying, you find it a lot more relatable, right? It suddenly makes sense. Nobody wants to be vulnerable to people they don't trust.
But women don't preface every sentence with the disclaimer "I am talking about my emotional experience and feelings, not my factual beliefs"... of course they don't. Because that's what they are ALWAYS doing, every time they open their mouths. And other women understand this. So it would be a waste of breath.
Women generally only discuss their factual beliefs when they are done discussing their feelings (this takes a long time), or in certain technical settings where there's nothing to have a feeling about (math class, etc).
So how do I deal with this (verbally)?
That depends what I want, but let's suppose I want her to stop saying stupid shit about men. That means I need to exert influence on her.
Now, I could do this by being attractive to her, or invoke cues suggesting I was I high-status person, so that she would moderate her language to please or appease me. But that would take time and effort, and wouldn't change her habits in general, just towards me.
If I want to cure her of her habits of saying misandrist shit, I need to educate her in a language she understands.
So I start by articulating her feelings to her in my own words. Yes, this means literally explaining to her how she feels. The goal here is not to tell her how she feels, however... it's to demonstrate to her that I actually understand her point of view and feelings.
I'm going to say that I understand that walking around feeling like anyone can be a predator and hurt her is probably very frightening. If I were in that position... I'd be mad... because we men tend to express negative emotion through anger rather than fear.
Next, I'm going to legitimize her emotions... telling her that they matter in and of themselves, not because of this or that fact. In this, I am subtly beginning to ease her away from her bullshit, working her around to the idea that she doesn't NEED to make up stuff about the actual level of danger to get her feelings taken seriously.
(Mostly, when women lie about their experiences of oppression or danger, they are doing it because they are afraid they will not be taken seriously unless they embellish the story.)
So I will then say that it's not okay for her to have to walk around feeling like this. That's no way to live. Even if, statistically, men are much more likely to be attacked and hurt than women are, women do have to deal with this constant feeling of helplessness and vulnerability, and that's a serious problem, because that kind of ongoing stress prevents us from doing things, makes our lives just generally suck more, etc.
So, what I've done there is insert the observation that she's not REALLY in more danger than men, she's in less. But I didn't present it as a refutation, I presented it in the course of showing understanding and sympathy for her actual problem, which is living in fear.
She'll be able to let go of the false allegations that women are in more danger, or that men are all vicious, because she no longer needs them in order to get her real problem taken seriously.
After that, I can teach her about how rubbishing men doesn't fix her problem, because she'll still feel vulnerable. I can teach her about the great 9mm equalizer that allows her to take control of her own safety, and allows her to walk around at night knowing that IF everything goes sideways, there's something she can do.
And eventually, I can even teach what this men-are-savages kind of rhetorical sounds like to men, and how it makes us feel... like we are hated for being born, like we are on trial all the time, like we are guilty until proven innocent, like we are second class citizens.
I can teach her to talk about her feelings in ways that aren't bigoted and hateful.
But all of this in predicated on getting her into an active-listening state. Women are very, very unreasonable in their default talking-to-strangers mode. But once you get them to believe that you are listening, understanding their feelings, and taking those feelings into consideration, they become much more reasonable.
This doesn't mean giving them their way, or taking orders from them, or agreeing with them when they are wrong, or suppressing your own viewpoint. Do any of those, and they'll hold you in contempt, and you will deserve it. Be a man and stand up for yourself, just learn to understand what they are actually saying.
Also understand that this is not something to do with every woman. Some of them really are crazy misandrists. Some of them simply don't have the character and value that would make it worth your while to invest this much effort in them.
Speaking womanese is not a way of life. It is a tool to put in your toolbox, to be available for your use when it will help you.
When you understand the language of women, things are possible...
www.trp.red/p/whisper/1088
... which would not otherwise be believable.
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