@woodsmoke

I never thought I'd be grateful to be taking stool softeners

Looks like a certain public service announcement really helped you out!

but, after that experience, I'd rather shoot soft-serve every day for the rest of my life than ever be physically unable to go again.

OK, kidding around aside, I have the opposite problem: IBS as chronic diarrhea. I have the highest disability rating for it without surgery that the VA offers, and I'm on two different prescriptions for it. Going by when I first started experiencing symptoms, it's because of toxic exposures to the smoke from burn pits in all 3 tours in Iraq, but especially the third one. (This exposure has caused other health issues too.)

Actual conversation between my provider and me when she was discussing one of the medicines with me:

Her: it might make you constipated.

Me: I'd love to know what that's like!

For those curious, the medicine helps a lot but it has not constipated me.

@Typo-MAGAshiv

Too true, unfortunately. I fell about noon on a Friday and hadn't eaten anything since the previous afternoon. The medical staff at the hospital wouldn't let me eat or drink anything in case I had surgery that night. I did finally get cleared to at least drink some water when my surgery was scheduled for the following morning.

Saturday afternoon I finally got to eat and I was so hungry even hospital food tasted good. I devoured everything they gave me for lunch and dinner, and when I was discharged the following morning I hadn't pooped in something like three days.

Got home, got settled and, shortly after, realized my digestion was finally done processing the three or four meals I'd eaten over the past ~24 hours (I usually only have one). Went into the bathroom, got myself situated and... nothing.

Pushed hard. Still nothing. Pushed harder. Everything was obviously in place but the valve simply wouldn't open to release the backup.

I did finally manage to poop about an hour later but words cannot express how uncomfortable, even painful that hour was. I never thought I'd be grateful to be taking stool softeners but, after that experience, I'd rather shoot soft-serve every day for the rest of my life than ever be physically unable to go again.

I live!

...despite my best efforts, apparently.

Apologies for the extended absence. I'll try not to hurt myself or get injured again but, given my track record over the past couple years, I ain't makin' any promises.

Recovery went well. Shockingly well, actually; by 6 weeks post-surgery I was pretty well back to fully functional including being able to squat down on my haunches. Still not quite as flexible in the left knee as I am in the right and I'll get to deal with swelling in my left leg for the rest of my life but, given the damage done in the collision, I consider the fact I'm walking without assistance miracle enough; everything on top o' that is gravy.

Started work again this week. I meant to post something here earlier (I usually do my .red-ing during whatever down time I have at the end of my shift) but, of the four-man surplus crew we had, I got injured again, two of the others found employment elsewhere and the last guy moved to WA, all while I was out. So the entire workload now falls squarely on me, myself and the Palm sisters.