11mo ago  The Hub

@Whisper Argument isn't it can't work. There are healthy and productive relationships.

Not sure where I said otherwise.

What I was on about was don't fixate on romanticism of the past.

Our current climate isn't tailored towards developing a strong foundation for relationships.

Those 2 LTR prospects are still women and will be influenced by female nature so don't put her on a pedestal. Vet and enjoy, but be mindful.

Also odds aren't good on that premise of 1/50.

And relationships require giving up some agency to incorporate someone into your life so don't rush into that.

If any of the above points are fallacies feel free to point out why.

Could be that my points appear nihilistic but they're not. I'd love to hear more guys have solid relationships going on 11 and 5 years strong.

It's just that I see a lot of men rush to monogamous relationships because of the desire to get a girlfriend/wife on a pedestal ignoring the myriad of red flags.

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11mo ago  The Hub
Comically Serious

@320skew

the reality is you're always a failed shit test away from it ending

I hear this sort of thing a lot when TRP readers find out I've been in a relationship for 11 and 5 years. They say lots of things like "they are going to cheat on you and try to trade up", "you are clowning/jumping through hoops to impress them", "they are going to betray you in {variety of hypothetical ways}", etc.

What this tells me, beyond the fact that most of these dudes aren't very good at managing women, is that our culture is in some ways so far gone that lots of young bros can't even imagine a healthy relationship, or picture what one might look like.

The thing about making predictions like this is that it's very intellectually safe. No matter how many times your doomsday scenario fails to manifest, you can always just say "no, it WILL happen, it just hasn't happened YET".

In fact, FunSize got the same treatment on RPW... "If you let him fuck other women, he will get bored of you and leave!", etc, etc.

... which is pretty dumb, because before I met her, I had already fucked more women than would fit on a medium sized airliner.

In reality, it's debatable exactly how difficult it is to have a good relationship given the climate we are in. What's not debatable is whether it can be made to work.

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11mo ago  The Hub

@Desaint

"Freedom gets boring"

What? I don't come here often, but is he serious? He's trolling, right?

If you've never been in a long term relationship or married, you're just speaking from ignorance or out of your ass.

I've been on both extremes of that equation. Close to a third of my life with one woman and having a soft harem after that didn't work.

In one equation you're shackled to her, her problems, her family and friends and various obligations and responsibilities.

The other side you retain more agency over your time at the lack of intimacy, stability and vulnerability.

You're coming across as pitching the Disney unicorn idea that in a sea of women you'll find this paragon of feminine virtue that you'd wife up and live a life of tranquility and happiness.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but that's a dream.

Reality is that your 2/100 LTR prospects are still women.

They still will act emotionally over logically. They still adhere to hypergamy. They still get complacent. They still exist in a feminist environment. They still grow and change. They still despise weakness.

So, while you may dream she'll get a boner talking to you, I know that the reality is you're always a failed shit test away from it ending.

And if the odds are 1/50 for a CHANCE, what's that say about you for promoting that prospect?

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11mo ago  The Hub

@Desaint I'm guessing you haven't been married, in a long term relationship or spent time around a lot of women.

Wanting a long term relationship isn't a bad thing. Stability, structure, and legacy have merit, but it comes with a cost of vulnerability, dependence and freedom.

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11mo ago  The Hub

@Jocbro Do your own thing. Keep options open and "settle down" when someone meets your standards.

May be wrong but you sound like you're looking for a replacement, and to me, that's like a bird looking for a cage to fly into.

A beautiful cage is still a cage.

There's no shortage of women.

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11mo ago  The Hub

@320skew

I won’t delude myself into believing she is the “one” for me. But as fed up as I am chasing ass/dating I can easily acknowledge it’s going to be a long road to finding a girl that has similar qualities as her.

I’ve been on 3 dates since last week and they all spilled out their red flags and put out on the first date. Talking about how much they can drink, how independent they are. One even had a child. Not to mention they didn’t meet my minimum looks standard of a girl to settle down with. (I’d only date a 8+)

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11mo ago  The Hub

@Jocbro The problem with "high quality" and "low quality" is that it's easy to look at the past with rose colored glasses and feel we "lost" a good one. That may be the case, but it can also be our inability to be objective and look past the euphoric familiarity and pedestal we put her on.

We don't see the costs and flaws.

That's not to say that there aren't low quality women. There most definitely are but don't get swept up on the fantasy of the idealistic woman.

She is, at her core, still a woman with all the benefits and caveats.

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12mo ago  The Playground

Not sure if it's because of April 1 or what but lot more female involvement here.

1y ago  The Hub

@320skew agreed. Women never take accountability and always bad mouth their ex

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1y ago  The Hub

@Jocbro you'll never hear any woman admit to any fault or display any accountability. So you'll always be an "-ist", "-phobe", abusive, controlling, etc.

This is to save face. Because the problem is never her in her mind. It's always you. She could cheat and you drove her to it.

She'll also have her friends give the obligatory "go queen" and "you don't need a man" speech because women have a tendency to drag each other down.

Best to cut ties in a civil manner and move forward without looking back.

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