The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.
There's several ways to handle this.
My 2 most likely responses based on what you've shared:
"cool, but bear in mind, friends pay their own way" and continue to push. If she still rebuffs your escalation attempts, next!
"I was pretty clear what I was looking for, and I have enough friends already. Good luck on your search" and leave the ball in her court.
The blocking thing, I only did that when one was incredibly annoying or psychotic. Usually just not messaging anymore was sufficient. I'm not sure why blocking is so popular with the younger crowd; I'm not a fan of burning bridges unless necessary.
Tag @woodsmoke - why block in this situation?
I agree on taking action for sure. It’s part of why I started posting on here to share my journey and get some accountability. I’m on a world trip right now and will be in 13 countries in two months. I’m more than halfway through and, I’ve been on a few dates during my trip and have been really putting myself out there. Have had my share of successes and failures. I got a few good stories to share on here, assuming I don’t get attacked by AFCs
@crazystorypt2 If you are interested, ignore what she said (and don't have anymore "what are we?" or "what are you looking for?") conversations. Go get tacos and act like you would with a girl you were on a date with. If it doesn't work out, don't call her anymore. Learn to ignore much of what women say and instead focus on their actions toward you.
Girl (21) hit me (19) up and expressed a lot of interest in me. Went out for coffee once and talked for hours after. She asked me what I wanted and I told her I’ll see where things go, she agreed. The next day she texts me and says she doesn’t think it will work out because she actually wants a relationship. Tbh I wanted a relationship too so I called her and we talked about it and realized we wanted the same thing. Fast forward a few weeks later, I’m on the phone with her and suggest we go out for tacos at this spot in the city, she agrees but then adds that she wants to go out as friends only. Now i’m confused because we aren’t in a relationship so what does this mean? She then says we vibe better as friends and would still want to go but as friends. Once we get off the phone, she texts me and says ‘we can totally still get tacos if your down!’. I’m a little upset about this because I actually liked her because she met all my criteria for a girl I would date, what should I do next? I haven’t replied to her text yet either. I would really appreciate any feedback.
When dealing with females, keep in mind, when they are interested in you they will remove, or overcome, any and all obstacles in their path to spending time with you. When they create obstacles to spending time with you, it is because you're not that interesting to them. In the time you two have been dating, this girl's gotten to know enough about you to know that she's not that interested in you. While disappointing, finding this out early tends to be best. I'd simply stop communicating with her and find someone else to date.
Consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library.Read More
@crazystorypt2 I probably wasn't sufficiently clear: don't "take her out" if you're not okay with just being friends. I'm an old married dude, so when I hang out with women there's no expectation that it's anything other than people who like doing the same thing. In your case, you want more from the relationship, so you have to decide whether you want her in your life "as a friend" (I'm NOT recommending that, by the way: I'm just listing it as an option), or if you want to cut your losses and move on.
I like @woodsmoke 's suggestion, although I'm not sure I'd go all the way to blocking her. Maybe it's a generational thing, but we couldn't do that when I was your age, and it comes across as petty to me. Blocking her says, "I (actively) don't want you near me," while going silent after telling her what woodsmoke suggested says, "I (passively) don't care one way or the other."Read More
I'm with @lurkerhasarisen. Shoot her a text saying "Seems we aren't on the same page after all. I'm not looking for 'just friends,' so I'm gonna' go out with the guys. Good luck out there." Then block her number and move on.
A woman who's really into you will make herself available. A woman who plays stupid games and makes you jump through hoops like this is either not that into you or too flighty and immature to be worthy of consideration for any degree of commitment. Either way, you're better off without her.
It seems to me that she's either testing you or she's not all that into you. Fortunately, the response is the same: don't get invested, and don't let her think you are. There's no "right" answer here beyond that: if you call it off you can either com across as being aloof or butt-hurt, and if you go you can come across as either aloof or needy.
Personally, I think I'd make other plans and wish her well, but that's just me.