@IDoCeramicHoles You're far from the only one here who've behaved in embarrassing ways with females. It's past, so let that shit go.

A few take-aways going forward:

• Don't chase. Make yourself available, yes. Shoot your shot (once), yes. But don't ever chase. There's no doubt in your gut when a female is really into you. Despite what you've probably been taught, it's a woman's job to chase - not a man's.

• Value your own time and attention. Those are two of your most valuable assets. When you give them away for cheap, you depreciate the value of them. If you don't value your own time and attention, nobody else will either. See above; Give your time and attention to women who chase you.

Oh, and by "time and attention", I also mean ruminating about some particular female. Letting someone live rent-free in your head is also "giving time and attention". You might think it's a private thing, and she wouldn't know anyways, but it definitely affects your general state of mind, and how you present.

@IDoCeramicHoles Basically do nothing. It won't help you to involve yourself with her and it won't help you to actively distance yourself from her as it will look bad on you in the eyes of everyone she will be impressing.

Aim to have the most minimal involvement possible with her. Always keep it friendly. As she works her way into everyone's good books, she will be less of a pain to you. She will find higher up men to be seeking attention from.

If she still becomes a pain, calmly explain that this is a one sided relationship that is hurting you by wasting your time and energy and you do not wish to continue it. Show no bitterness, just politely ask her to not contact you again for anything not work related and then ignore anything from her after that.

Very selfish hot women almost always get away with bad behaviour at work -just not pulling their weight or keeping agreements but you will gradually find people tire of her. She is also unlikely to remain that interested in talking to you. You are a safe orbiter for her while she is new in the company. She will want to add more orbiters and seek out men she is actually attracted to, all this will take the heat off you, so play it cool. It will most likely get better by itself.

@IDoCeramicHoles

This is gonna be long. It’s not ChatGPT generated, that you can probably tell because of my English. I’m not a native speaker and I’m typing this with chaos in my head.

I am 25 years old. Last year February, I ended a toxic relationship of 5 years where she never let me be physical with her. Few months before the breakup, due to my repressed sexual feelings, i cheated on her with a women i met online. The guilt after that was insane and I knew coming out of the relationship is my only way of peace. It was hard and finally the breakup happened. It only took me few days to get over that breakup.

That was my first relationship and I was an incel that time. After getting over it, i only had one thing in mind. Build the self esteem i never had (due to abusive childhood). Fyi, I workout and I have an athletic body with abs, but I understood the hard way that abs are not enough for self esteem. A friend recommended me the book Models by Mark Manson. Then i discovered redpill. With the new information i have, my world was changing. I started making approaches in gym, workplace, cafes etc. And within a very short time, i started to get success. I went on dates with few women, rejected some because I thought they don’t align with me (the old me wouldn’t have done that) and had s*x with few. Then one day, at the cafe at my workplace, this chick was in front of me and I approached her. was able to get her instagram and i texted her at night and my text game also succeeded. I landed another date.

Here is where my life took a turn. This chick was the hottest among all the women i have been with after the breakup. This made me forget everything i have learned and i fell for her hotness. But this was the perfect trauma bonding i needed. Just after the first date (no we didn’t have sx), she started showing me mixed signals. She would ask for meeting and when the time comes she wouldn’t even bother texting. This pissed me off and i would call her back. Then she’ll be like she’s busy or with her friends. Few weeks of flakes but the needy me still stayed. We went out 2 or 3 times more. Then after getting pissed off constantly. I confronted her telling that I value integrity and she doesn’t have it and also told that i am cutting her off. Then she played her mental health game on me and i fell for that too. She explicitly said that she wants this to work. Listening to this, I stayed again. Her actions didn’t change. I can’t recall a single day for the next few weeks where she had shown integrity. I was so devastated thinking my game was very bad that i couldn’t get her (yeah we never had sx).

We started to not talk after few days (ghosted basically). And a month later, she called me telling that she’s done with the work and leaving (we met for the first time when she came for an internship in a company in the same building where my company is located). So we met and bid farewell. She told me that it’s her birthday next month and she would surely invite me because she’d coming to the city I am in for celebrating it. The needy me fell for this again. She’d message here and there like 2, 3 times. I was in this emotional roller coaster of being chosen and not chosen like a lot. This was literally killing me.

On her birthday, nothing happened. Yeah she came to my city. I got to know that because of her instagram story. I tried to accept the reality and move on. But i couldn’t. A month later, i messaged her again. She said she’d call me back and never did. Few more months later, the needy me messaged her again. She didn’t show any interest and said she’s finishing graduation in few months and got a job in some other place. This time i accepted the reality for real. I never messaged her again. I unfollowed and blocked her.

Then i took a break from meeting new women because this whole incident hit me with existential crisis. I didn’t make any moves for few months. Then one day randomly at the gym, i met this girl and i got a date. It was not planned at all. I mean i didn’t want to chase women. But this happened. Obviously she was not as hot as the other girl. But still things were too good to be true after the previous incident. We started taking things seriously. The s*x was so good. But few months later, she started to show her anxious attachment patterns to me. I felt like this is another trauma bonding. Now it’s been a year since I met my girlfriend and 1.5 years since I met the other girl who shattered my soul.

The story doesn’t end here. I accepted my life - my girlfriend is not the perfect girl i needed but i made peace with it. Here and there the other girl’s thought were bothering me.

One random day, i was going through my blocklist and found her there. I was like “okay I’m never gonna see her again, her chapter is over so let’s unblock”, and I did). The upcoming month (two months ago today), i got a call on an afternoon when i was with my homie to go for lunch. The call was from instagram and it was this girl again. I was like fck, after 1.5 years, what does she want from me. I even thought she may have placed the call by accident. So i didn’t pick the call. The call hung up and she called again. I picked the call and she asked me if I still work here. I said yes and she said that she is in the building. I was like fck me. I took few steps back and saw her with some dude (not dating for sure, he seemed like an incel). I came to her and to my surprise, she hugged me. I was having trouble understanding and comprehending what’s going on. Few of my coworkers were near and they all saw this. It was an ego booster for sure. Anyway, I asked her what happened to her other job plan. She said she joined there and couldn’t handle the work pressure and toxicity’s not even for a week. She’s has this classic victim mindset. It’s like she vs the universe. And she said she got a job in other company that’s not that near me but still in the same city. I knew this is where i have the choice to go back to my pattern or ignore her. I didn’t say anything much and told her that I’ll see her later (my body was saying no, but my mind was saying this is my second chance - keep in mind that i am dating another girl now).

I didn’t text her or anything. Just a day later, she texted me and suddenly started showing interest and even commented on my posts in instagram). I started to get confused again. So i chatted with her. But this time, i consciously didn’t try to win her over. Two days of chatting where it would take her an average of 4 hours to reply back to a single text I sent, i knew she’s not mine to fix and i stopped talking. I didn’t say anything about this incident to my girlfriend. Now you guys will think the story ends here, NOOOO.

Even though I stopped talking to her, the internal conflict in me was disturbing me. One part of me was saying “I lost the second chance too”, the other part was saying “I don’t want this person’s energy in my life”. So last week, after a tiring day at work. Her thoughts started overpowering and I found myself suffering again. You wouldn’t believe what happened next. The next hour, this btch texts me again. I was like “what the hell is wrong with my life, am I like manifesting her back to my life over and over again when I’m asleep???”. I didn’t reply anything that night. Next day, i asked why she messaged. What she said next made me feel like getting fcked in the ass so hard that I wouldn’t walk for few days.

So basically she got her way into the company I’m working now. Bro she got a job in my company. F*ck. What is she upto. This happened last Wednesday and her joining date was Monday (today). I instantly got depressed hearing this. I knew she coming to my firm would make me regret working here every single day. I took the rest of the day off and talked to a friend about. It didn’t help. I did long meditation sessions and shadow work preparing for the disaster.

I made a promise to myself that no matter what happens I wont perform and self abandon by acting superior around her if i see her. So today happened and she came to my office. I saw her and shook hands and told her “see you later”. Saw her few more times again and just like i thought. Her pretty girl game was working. The incels i knew in my company who have zero game were trying to put her on pedestal. She was really enjoying the attention. As i already expected, i found myself shaking my hands and lips. Even though my life wasn’t that good, I had this confident guy persona in my office. But today, anyone who saw me could sense that i was feeling not at good about myself. So here I’m, feeling helpless and don’t know what to do next ranting my situations here. If you made it this far, thank you. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Admins, I have never posted before and I don’t know if I have broke any rules in this sub. But I need help, please don’t remove my post.

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