@Mountainman

You’d think by now id find a decent woman whose done chasing Chads and find my slight nervousness endearing

They don't work like that. Women want you to be strong.

decent woman whose done chasing Chads

If she were truly decent, she wouldn't fritter away her prime years chasing Chad. You aren't looking for a wife among hoes, are you? Usually when women say "I'm tired of the games" they mean that they realized they're losing and don't like it.

I recommended two books to you in my reply to durek. I'm going to recommend two short reads to you here.

The Sixteen Commandments of Poon by Roissy/Heartiste. I would argue that this is perhaps the most important Red Pill post of all time. I go back and reread it frequently.

My own negative self-talk: a bad habit which must be eliminated. You really need to stop downing yourself.

@Mountainman

Your main problem is probably that you're a neurotic. And neuroticism has a tendency to shine through in body language, facial expression, tone of voice etc. - even in the (dramatic) written language you used to describe your situation just now.

When it comes to women, and what they're into, being neurotic as a dude is just as much of a hindrance as, say, being skinny-fat, or ridiculously short. It's just a major turn-off, and one that exposed itself pretty much immediately.

The answer is assertiveness training. I recommend you start by reading When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. It used to be listed in the TRP sidebar as recommended reading material. It's pretty good, and made me aware of some issues of my own.

Weed will make you more neurotic. But, of course, you already know that. At the very least, I'd recommend not being high when trying to hit on girls, or when in social settings where girls might take an interest in you. I love my weed too. But as a fellow high neuroticism dude, it's best to eliminate it from settings where you want to come off as more self assured (alcohol in moderation is a better drug for that).

Maybe you're more neurotic now than you used to be. It's not unthinkable if you've never really done much specific work on your neuroticism and anxiety.

@Mountainman

The worst results I’ve ever seen…

I’ll try to keep this brief.

I’m no alpha. In fact I consider myself pretty feminine: I’m an artist, I care about everyone, and im pretty conflict avoidant. I’ll confront people, but as of late I’ve have a lot of death in my family and my brother is looking at 6 years in prison so I’m taking care of his bills and house, not much energy left to confront an asshole on the road

With that being said, I’m 6 3, I have a 23-24 FFMI so people can tell I work out. I was told yesterday by a women dispensary clerk that I look like a young Josh Harnett. Granted, I smoke weed and I probably have a scent and I’m self conscious of that. I’m financially very well off and have my own Ecom business that’s doing well. My disposition is pretty opposite to how I look: I’m generally a positive smiley person.

The point of the post: holy actual fuck is my dating life atrocious. Haven’t gotten laid in almost a year and even last year I only slept with 4 women. The feeling I get from being such the stereotypical tall and handsome guy but gets no ass really makes me wish legal euthanasia was a thing. I genuinely feel like I’m letting every man down who isn’t me, like they’d do so much better if they were me.

Approached a woman at the store; “hey which olive oil spray should I get?” Run away from me.

Ask a chick as a dispensary for her number because she seemingly likes me: “I have a bf”

5 numbers off dating apps in the past month: “oh I thought you’d never ask for my number, I’ll text you when I’m back from vacation” *never reaches out, ignores me after i initiate contact

Cold approach on Facebook…she’s receptive. She’s sending me paragraphs and then abruptly leaves me on read. Another woman same thing, and they both leave me on read the same exact day.

A woman I slept with 8 years ago reaches out flirting and I fucking fumble the shit out of it. I was moving apartments and was just so damn anxious.

I could go on and on of all the complete fucking failures I’ve had but yall get the idea. Sure im an anxious person and do not look like my struggles at all, but how is this so detrimental to my dating? You’d think by now id find a decent woman whose done chasing Chads and find my slight nervousness endearing, but they all think I’m disgusting.

I’m probably going to get told to read the side bar when I’ve been reading this material for almost a decade. I’ve had dozens of partners over my life, and a time where I had one gf after the next and was talking to a dozen women at once, sleeping with half of them in a few month period. And now my life is completely the opposite.

Any help or insight would be amazing. Im praying for a little nugget of wisdom to hit home for me. Thanks for reading, or sorry for the shit long post.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Mountainman Heh, this could have been written by the me of 30 years ago.

Approached a woman at the store; “hey which olive oil spray should I get?” Run away from me.

Ask a chick as a dispensary for her number because she seemingly likes me: “I have a bf

Women working public facing jobs get hit on ALL the damn time. One of the most jaded and least receptive cohorts that exist, toward cold approaches.

As for the store incident, just piping up out of the blue feels jarring and was probably uncalibrated. Social interactions are seldom purely spontaneous. There were probably missed lead in steps, like proximity and initial eye contact.

It's really worth studying up on, then practicing and refining your applied use of, RULES OF EYE CONTACT. It's one of the important drivers of how social openings proceed. It drives decisions to proceed warmly, coldly, or disconnect, and it happens instantly and almost completely subconsciously. If you're uncalibrated on this step, you wind up blocking most possible social connections at the gate.

I'm here to tell you firsthand: you can arrive at young adulthood without having learned social skills naturally like your neurotypically average cohorts. But with applied study and effort, gain and internalize these skills in say 1 to 2 years.

Eye contact is a subtopic of Kinesics AKA Body Language. College psychology textbooks make a good starting point on the path to catching yourself up on these skills. Once you internalize it, you'll find not just flirting but all kinds of social interactions playing out so much smoother and better than what you're experiencing now.

The worst results I’ve ever seen…

I’ll try to keep this brief.

I’m no alpha. In fact I consider myself pretty feminine: I’m an artist, I care about everyone, and im pretty conflict avoidant. I’ll confront people, but as of late I’ve have a lot of death in my family and my brother is looking at 6 years in prison so I’m taking care of his bills and house, not much energy left to confront an asshole on the road

With that being said, I’m 6 3, I have a 23-24 FFMI so people can tell I work out. I was told yesterday by a women dispensary clerk that I look like a young Josh Harnett. Granted, I smoke weed and I probably have a scent and I’m self conscious of that. I’m financially very well off and have my own Ecom business that’s doing well. My disposition is pretty opposite to how I look: I’m generally a positive smiley person.

The point of the post: holy actual fuck is my dating life atrocious. Haven’t gotten laid in almost a year and even last year I only slept with 4 women. The feeling I get from being such the stereotypical tall and handsome guy but gets no ass really makes me wish legal euthanasia was a thing. I genuinely feel like I’m letting every man down who isn’t me, like they’d do so much better if they were me.

Approached a woman at the store; “hey which olive oil spray should I get?” Run away from me.

Ask a chick as a dispensary for her number because she seemingly likes me: “I have a bf”

5 numbers off dating apps in the past month: “oh I thought you’d never ask for my number, I’ll text you when I’m back from vacation” *never reaches out, ignores me after i initiate contact

Cold approach on Facebook…she’s receptive. She’s sending me paragraphs and then abruptly leaves me on read. Another woman same thing, and they both leave me on read the same exact day.

A woman I slept with 8 years ago reaches out flirting and I fucking fumble the shit out of it. I was moving apartments and was just so damn anxious.

I could go on and on of all the complete fucking failures I’ve had but yall get the idea. Sure im an anxious person and do not look like my struggles at all, but how is this so detrimental to my dating? You’d think by now id find a decent woman whose done chasing Chads and find my slight nervousness endearing, but they all think I’m disgusting.

I’m probably going to get told to read the side bar when I’ve been reading this material for almost a decade. I’ve had dozens of partners over my life, and a time where I had one gf after the next and was talking to a dozen women at once, sleeping with half of them in a few month period. And now my life is completely the opposite.

Any help or insight would be amazing. Im praying for a little nugget of wisdom to hit home for me. Thanks for reading, or sorry for the shit long post.