@Kt1910 Look for a martial arts dojo, BJJ studio, or boxing gym in your area. Learn some skills and get some experience and muscle memory of successfully standing up to an opponent. Over time this will iteratively solve your problems/hangups surrounding this in an organic, bottom up, thus deeply effective and pervasive manner.

It's kind of the same with women. Figure out how to start small, minor touching with no expectations. If you can't manage this in the dating marketplace, consider something like taking a few beginner dance classes where you'll touch, guide, and move with numerous women.

The basis of "fake it till you make it" is the fact that the human mind includes innate barriers to change, which is a feature in some environments and conditions but a flaw in others and at individual extremes of the bell curve. When you "force yourself" to do a thing the first few times, it forces it into a "familiar" category in the brain, and it comes easier then "naturally" after those first few forced efforts. It's a legit, functional mind hack.

@Kt1910 I can't really say, red this book or don't read that book as I didn't really use any particular book myself. It's more of like: pick a book , article, website, see what you like and research the subject from there. Then branch out and see what other avenues the book opens or suggests and repeat the process.

The goal is to acclimatize and get the general lay of the land. For the very general starting point about beliefs and past experiences google "meta model nlp". For failing multiple times, you have to identify what went wrong in previous attempts otherwise you're going in circles instead of spiraling out.

Next step would be to set some general goal ("a year from now i wanna be able to comfortably talk to strangers in social setting" or whatever you want, be realistic AND optimistic). Break it down to smaller tasks that are needed to achieve that. Then break down these ones too until you get to something that it's unreasonable to break down further ("how do i move each hand during walking".) Write this all down as day to day task ("do x of abc each day, don't to this, minimize that"). Journal the stats, journal the lessons, journal what went wrong and above all journal what went right. The act of writing this does not only help you to stop keeping endless tabs in your mind but also acts as a reminder (writing does that).

To reiterate again, don't assign blame ("it went bad bc of my bad brain, its the societys fault, the people are not nice etc.") but instead focus on individual behaviours that cumulatively add up to a larger picture.