@Kt1910 What should i do
You're putting too much pressure on yourself and on the next one interaction.
Life is a journey.... the next interaction doesn't have to go well, you just have to take steps to gradually improve your life.
Find a chick who is happy to go slow with you.
I fuckin crave physical intimacy but i refuse it whenever a chick tries to connect with me! I don't know what to do! Today a girl tried every possible way to approach me but i refused even eye contact with her. This chick added me on facebook and initiated the first message but i answered her questions in a "formal" way just so she can't discover that i'm gameless. I've been like this since middle school and when i tried to overcome this problem i freezed with the first touch! Even prostitutes hate my behaviour and that's why i'm a 29 virgin and i keep telling myself that sex is stupid but sometimes i just can't lie to myself anymore. What should i do except blowing my head of?
@Kt1910 I can't really say, red this book or don't read that book as I didn't really use any particular book myself. It's more of like: pick a book , article, website, see what you like and research the subject from there. Then branch out and see what other avenues the book opens or suggests and repeat the process.
The goal is to acclimatize and get the general lay of the land. For the very general starting point about beliefs and past experiences google "meta model nlp". For failing multiple times, you have to identify what went wrong in previous attempts otherwise you're going in circles instead of spiraling out.
Next step would be to set some general goal ("a year from now i wanna be able to comfortably talk to strangers in social setting" or whatever you want, be realistic AND optimistic). Break it down to smaller tasks that are needed to achieve that. Then break down these ones too until you get to something that it's unreasonable to break down further ("how do i move each hand during walking".) Write this all down as day to day task ("do x of abc each day, don't to this, minimize that"). Journal the stats, journal the lessons, journal what went wrong and above all journal what went right. The act of writing this does not only help you to stop keeping endless tabs in your mind but also acts as a reminder (writing does that).
To reiterate again, don't assign blame ("it went bad bc of my bad brain, its the societys fault, the people are not nice etc.") but instead focus on individual behaviours that cumulatively add up to a larger picture.Read More
My core belief is that i'm a worthless piece of shit
Start with dismantling the statistic. Recall a situation in which this wasn't true. If it is possible to have different beliefs once, it's possible to have them twice. If it's possible twice, it's possible 10 times. And so on.
The key is to gradually remove any weight and importance to your bad interactions/beliefs and instead gradually assign more to the positive ones.
I masturbate when depressed
Then stop. Orgasm deprives men from the drive, the sharpness, the energy. Especially the one where no actual sex happened. There was a study where it was shown body can indeed tell the difference.
How long each? What were the changes?
Not anything I know about, but it's doubtfull. Most people who fail multiple times fail b/c they self sabotage, give up, set too high expectations too fast, don't chunk it down or get overwhelmed by the amount of work and apparent (but not actual) complexity of the tak ahead.
my fdup brain/personality?
Another thing that's probably incorrect. For the most cases, it's the behaviours not a broken brain. IOW correct the behaviours instead of assigning the blame to faulty personality. A dog that barks too much doesn't bark too much b/c of broken brain but b/c nobody corrected the behaviour and it got habitual.Read More
@JamesSkepp I said that i was an outcast since i was 5 because i wasn't welcomed to play with kids my age and i was bullied for my apparence everyday for years. A big part of me believes i'm a looser and i don't know what to do to reverse this. I tried martial art, bodybuilding and calisthenics , took cold showers , read 30 pages a day, tried to apply NMMNG activities and i'm aware shit tests ,game etc but i didn't seem to progress at all and confronting real life situations i'm literally the same i was as a kid. My core belief is that i'm a worthless piece of shit but at the same time i have a big ego which i read is common in low value males. I have a mental illness (s) too. I masturbate when depressed , maybe once a week and i've never smoked a cigarette in my life which is common with nice guys. I have two jobs and i go to college but nothing changed. Could an ECT or something like that reverse my fdup brain/personality?Read More
Are you hitting the gym or at least do some other physical activity? Are you overeating junk food? Chronic masturbation? Drug use?
Have you considered that the reason for your problems is you yourself, namely the "self fulfilling phrophecy" process? You believe you are a loser so you subconsciously make your mind and body display loser bahaviours and mindsets?
it's been like this since i was 5 or so
Is simply not true. You think that is the case, but it's retroactive rationalisation to fit the "im a loser" narrative. The reason it's not true is that most people remember jackshit from being 5yo and you just happen to remember how other people reacted 5yo low self esteem kid, which is suspiciously large amount of things to remember for a 5yo.
- TRP is full of guys reversing their lives into absolute chad lifestyle, especially when it comes to women. The statistical possibility of you not being able to do that b/c of being a special snowflake (1 in a million brain deficiency or some other lottery chance level reasons) is almost ZERO. IOW you're gonna be fine just take a breather and work out a plan.
I'm an outcast, nobody wants to be with me, nobody respects me and it's been like this since i was 5 or so. Things didn't change and i don't know what to do, accept it and live this miserable life or end it by commiting suicide! What do you suggest?
What would you do if you were me? -Grew up with a controlling mother and a very nice guy dad
- Was bullied all my childhood for my apparence
- Developed bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses because i couldn't accept how my paradigm was so wrong and non compatible with real life ( i exploded)
Wanted to go to the army to be free from my parents (especially my mother) and connect with other men, was refused because of my illness. -Got a diploma and finally graduated high school
- I'm in my late twenties and i'm not financially independent so my mom still controls me and i have nowhere to escape this house.
What should i do? Thank you.