I got a negative reaction from a girl when I went in for a hug. Ngl it kind of stung.
The problem wasn't that it was on my mind all day; the problem is that I realized my work is so mundane and boring to me that it barely even occupies my attention. I need to find a better job, or better yet, seriously start working on my side projects to make those a source of income, maybe even starting my own business.
I really shouldn't be letting things like this phase me, but still, it's just another reminder of how far I have to go; how much more I have to work, and how much harder I have to be on myself in order to grow. No one's pushing me but me.
James Blake, world famous musician, wrote an essay on mental health awareness, specifically his experience with depression as a straight white male.
Often labeled as a "sad boy", he describes pedestalizing girls but never growing beyond friends and going through life feeling like he had the sensitivity of a female in a male's body.
It sounds like the classic blue pill struggle in the matrix, yet he managed to channel his pain and frustration into a successful music career, where he suddenly found success with women.
Is this the vulnerability that women so desperately want? Maybe it's the fact that it's in the past that they prefer to observe it from. I wonder if there's any room for sensitivity in a red pilled life.
u/cuztrp asks if trp attracts the wrong type of girls. I think there is some merit to this question. Maybe I'm hoping for a purple pill or that all women are NOT like that, but while there is a lot of strength and wisdom to be gained from red pilled principals, I can often describe the personalities it shapes as "unpleasant".
@Omnidempotent damn, can't argue with that. I guess I'm still in beta. The only thing I know I'm doing right is lifting, everything else is just red pill theory I'm trying to put into practice and experience for myself. I've been red pill aware for a while but only now have started to implement changes.
@Cynic_In_Recovery welcome dude! Sounds rough, but you know how the saying goes:
Hard times make strong men. Strong men make good times. Good times make weak men. Weak men make hard times.
You're well on your way to being the strong men we're all meant to be.