Gents needed some advice. Ive noticed that in an LTR its key to establish your boundaries and knowing whats okay and not okay and in this case im not quite sure as to how to deal with things so here it is. I was spinning plates and now ive gotten exclusive with this girl for a while but not in an LTR with her yet and im still vetting her. Its her birthday coming up in a couple of days and I was just wondering if her ex boyfriend wishes her and she replies is it considered cheating? In my own values entertaining a former partner/hookup is cheating but where is that line? Is accepting birthday wishes cheating? Should I be having hard boundaries for this? Im not sure where to set the boundaries for these kind of things as there are 2 ways to look at it. One is that she replies with a harmless "Thank You" and thats that no harm no foul but we all know when we reach out to a girl after a while its never with pure innocent intent and its never for "being nice" and if she does reply we do think that we have a shot with her but also she should not reply at all which is the more respectful option and one that I would prefer. Now I dont know if I am being a bitch about this but I feel that I should have very high standards for an LTR. For context this girl has been very respectful so far, does not entertain other guys at all and has a strong belief that you should not be talking to your former partners/hookups. She also has a low n-count (3 including me) and we both are in our early 20s. So my 2 questions are as follows :

1) How do I set boundaries for events like these which are so much in the gray

2) Should I end things and consider this cheating if her ex does hit up and she does end up replying

The man I'm sitting across from has more than likely spent $$$ on OF whores

If you don't like a man doing that, maybe don't choose men who do it?

Also, even if he does do that, why does that entitle YOU (presumably not an OF whore) to a free dinner?

A woman who has made an effort to do her hair, do her makeup, pick out clothes

No one asked you to do all that, you did it because you're afraid of people seeing you in public without those things.

He's expecting me to split the bill

No, he's just not going to go out with you if you do not. You are free to walk away and leave him to his OF whores. You are free not to go on dates with men like that. The fact is, you don't have a lot of options anymore.

Their clients pay them thousands of dollars

Since you seem to be jealous of OF whores, maybe go try it out. See what it's like to have men buy you crap you don't need for sexual services.

If you don't want to do that, then maybe stop complaining. Men spend money on things when there is a reason to do so. You offer nagging and shaming and not much else. And remember, literally no man cares about your hair being done, your makeup, or your expensive clothing.

I’m surprised that the matchmaker didn’t see the contradiction in her own statement. She said that the woman brings enough to the table to get what she wants (while listing things that guys don’t care about, but that’s a separate topic). Then she says that the men she wants don’t want her because - wait for it - she doesn’t have what they want. (What they want is a woman like her, but 15 years younger).

By definition, she doesn’t bring enough to the table to get what she wants, because she can’t bring her younger self… meanwhile, younger versions of her are throwing themselves at those same men.

She’s in a competition she can’t win. It’s like weight classes in combat sports. A really good middleweight boxer might beat a below-average heavyweight, but not a contender. Think of years as weight classes. When she was 23 she was a heavyweight contender. At her current age she’s a bantamweight contender: great in her division perhaps, but the heavyweight belt (a ring from a top-tier man) is now permanently out of her reach.

There’s not much she can do about it, either, since her problem isn’t due to a failure to “max out her stats”… it’s that she’s capped on the one stat that matters most, and it’s constantly and inevitably getting worse.

I absolutely do not believe you have a solid rotation and if you do, they're full of 3-5s & this girl is far more attractive than them & clearly out of your league, hence why she made such a bold request & was agitated when you refused. A man with a solid rotation of attractive women does not waste time explaining why he won't send a random woman an Uber, text and call her the next day, and then post about it online. To kill this "craving" (which is actually scarcity) simply delete her #. You don't need to block her, she will not contact you again because, as Typo stated, she's not interested. Focus on raising your smv so 1) females don't try this with you in the future (because no matter how childish she is she won't try this on someone she actually likes & 2) you can actually have a rotation of attractive women so things like this don't affect you