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Getting numbers constantly but can't close - what am I doing wrong?
27M bartender at a high volume sports bar in a major city in the USA. Tall, model level looks (not trolling or trying to be arrogant but I am a former model), white/chad archetype.
Not trying to brag but giving full context: I get hit on constantly at work. Girls flirting, laughing at my jokes, and I get at least one number per shift without even asking. They literally give ME their number.
Here's the problem - in 3 months working there, I haven't closed with a single one. Not one. Every plate I am currently spinning was obtained via cold approach at bars AS A CUSTOMER/Hinge/Tinder.
Is it just girls being tipsy and regretting it after? Because it's weird as fuck that they'd go out of their way to give me their number but then it fizzles out.
Example: last weekend got two cute blonde 20-somethings' numbers. We texted during and right after my shift, decent back and forth, then... nothing. Conversation dies. Deleted both numbers to move on.
I've been bartending for years and this keeps happening at this specific bar. Clearly I have the "on paper" stats - the initial attraction is there. So what's the issue?
Is my texting game shit? Am I not escalating fast enough? Not pushing for meetups soon enough?
Need actionable advice here because this pattern is getting frustrating.
It's probably for the best that fate's been oddly working against you to your benefit here. If the bars you work at are bad places to recruit new plates, then stick with ones where you're a patron.
Otherwise, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read More"Never been romanced" = never had a big enough Beta who spoiled me enough. For many women romance is them getting spoiled by gifts and trips. Like everything romance has become commercialised.
She talks a lot of Romance and yet she has "exhausted other dating sites" All those other studs were not good enough, fancy your chances boys? I wasn't sure that any of the great Romances involved scraping the barrel after looking everywhere. Did Lancelot finally rescue Guinevere after she had done the rounds on the round table? Did Odysseus finally satisfy Penelope after she had tried and found every other suitor wanting? Was Romeo Juliette's last hope of love? And that miss Bennett she was a bit of a tramp you know before Darcy rescued her.
Checked the official definition of romance in case I had it wrong. Cambridge English Dictionaries says "countable noun B1+ A romance is a relationship between two people who are in love with each other but who are not married to each other. After a whirlwind romance the couple announced their engagement in July. ...a holiday romance. Synonyms: love affair, relationship, affair, intrigue More Synonyms of romance
- uncountable noun Romance refers to the actions and feelings of people who are in love, especially behaviour which is very caring or affectionate.
Collins English: a close, usually short relationship of love between two people: They got married last year after a whirlwind (= very short and unexpected) romance. It was just a holiday romance. Office romances are usually a bad idea.
[ U ] the feelings and behaviour of two people who are in a loving and sexual relationship with each other: I felt as though all the romance had gone out of my marriage.
Merriam-Webster makes it a bit simpler- love affair also : a feeling of being in love
So no mention of finance, gifts or holidays there. In fact this sounds like Chad territory to me, intense love affair, possibly short. Yeah she might just get that but if she had wanted that, she could have found it easily enough already..
Read More11h ago 2025-11-13 22:15:57 WhereAreAllTheGoodMen Forum
shitpost Saturday
Eh, it's only Friday, but why not?
Never been romanced
Romance is dead, and women killed it.
13h ago 2025-11-13 19:39:39 WhereAreAllTheGoodMen Forum
Incredible.
A lot of the nonsense she is saying is basically a mix of humble bragging and bitterness. You can hear the bitterness in her voice, she is bitter because nobody is interested in her. And she is compensating by expressing very high levels of entitlement, to signal to anyone that will listen, that she is somehow a 'high value woman' and her very high standards prove that to be the case.
There is no such thing as a very high value woman. There are very attractive women that are fertile, and everthing else is irrelevant.


