Madam, this is what it looks like. You have correctly identified what it looks like. Your options are somewhat limited at this stage. You best bet is to hope someone really values your friendly, loyal and kind personality and your generosity in bed, sees you ask for nothing but to enjoy his company and so keeps you in his life. Eventually something might grow from such an approach. Men do tend to get fond of kind women.

However, you can't ask for any serious intent up front. You can't expect commitment when you can't offer it yourself. You are already committed to your children. By the time they are grown your fertility will be gone. All you can offer now is the company of someone who has a greater priority. If you accept this and seek only someone who appreciates your company and does not (for whatever reason) want any more, you just might get in by the back door and end up with a man to grow old with.

You are right to be perplexed. What you have seen makes no sense. You cannot be seeing all the picture here.

First let's examine what you have seen. She left you with no warning because of "deteriorating looks and lack of interesting sex" You didn't lose your cool over it and she continued to see you and sleep with you, now she has moved back in. She is stone cold and self interested. She didn't think to warn you of her leaving, just did it and left you with double rent. But is perfectly Ok for you to keep seeing her. She say the bedroom is dead but she is happy to keep seeing you.

You did things well, but remember all you did was make things easy for her to do what she liked and call all the shots. She comes when she likes, she goes when she likes, you remain available. This is a good way to preserve access to a woman for sex. Well done there but this is a terrible woman to have a serious relationship with because she has total control and no empathy for your feelings. All she has done is what she wishes to do. She has not considered you. She has no investment in the idea of you and her having anything special, just what suits her.

This woman is entirely unsuitable as a life partner. As sex while she is available well fine, enjoy but do not invest in this woman, do not let this woman get in the way of you finding someone kinder and more genuine. So do not take this woman with you. Your relationship with her is a limiting commitment because you are maintaining a house built on a tectonic plate. She will never be wife material. She makes the sort of wife who changes the locks and serves divorce papers and a restraining order while you are away for the weekend. You can't sleep with weapons in the house and you would do well to never give her the combination to the safe.

Now as to what you cannot see; she decided to go through the expense of leaving you, did it in a stab in the back way and then worked on retaining you and rebuilding your relationship with her at a distance when it would have been easier up close. Why? Well what we can say is because it was worth it to her. Something made her prefer that idea to either staying or dumping you and moving on. She put something above you and her relationship with you that is no longer above you and her relationship with you.

Now beyond that its conjecture. I see two main candidates. She has been with an older man for some years. He lost his sparkle and started to look like just an old man. She felt limited and wanted to see what freedom and opportunity would bring. She went ahead in a remarkably childish and selfish way (Like a 16 year old should be ashamed to do). She took a look, while keeping her options open with you and found it more convenient to move back in. Most of this is likely to be true.

Is the bedroom still dead? If it is not, then probably there is something more to this one. Probably there was another man and even if she had not banged him (which is very unlikely if the bedroom was dead), she certainly wanted the space to be free to bang him while retaining you as a safe backup.

Whatever the reason, had she cared about you, she would have told you she was leaving. She only cared about making it easiest for her. Do not invest.