"I’m a single woman in my late 30s....." Dis gonna be good!!

The article is not a surprise. It's pretty standard. We've all met these women.

What is a surprise is that response of the agony aunt. Really, what she should have written is "You can ignore reality, but you cannot ignore the consequences of reality". And then explained to her, gently, that she has wasted far too much time, and that to be completely honest, the window has closed.

This is what really defines woman to woman conversations. The terrible, terrible quality of advice that they give each other. The dreadful feeback. It is always the same ...you go girl!

If a magazine like Slate wanted to provide any value at all, they would have a panel of guys to answer all the agony aunt questions. They should have an 'agony uncle'. That is the only way to get out of the female to female doom loop of shitty advice.

I see this as one of the key differences between men and women. Men actually give each other quite good advice. Consider this theoretical example....

Imagine a user on this forum posted a question like this; "I am in my late 30's and I want to train to become a champion swimmer and win competitions". The advice would be pretty to the point: you are too old. If you had wanted to win even small local competitions, you should have started swimming at about age 8. And you would have had to do early morning pool 4 times a week. You would have to have at least 20 competitions under your belt by age 16. You'll need to be at least 6 foot tall. You'll need to be serious about diet and excercise. It is now too late.

The advice would be pretty frank, to say the least.

And what women really do not give each other is frank, to the point, realistic advice.

My honest answer to to the this woman is that she has left it too late. And she seems painfully unaware of what men want from a woman. She wants a man to consider her as an option for marriage and children, and she is just not a suitable choice. To be considered for that role, she needs to have excellent fertility.....and the truth is that her fertility is at about 8% of a woman of 21.

This is the cold, hard truth. And she will never get it from talking to another woman.

Refreshing to read an article where the female complainant is not blaming her exes for wasting her time or men she dated for not being adequate.

The agony aunt actually gives semi useful advice in saying "stop spinning your hamster wheel when what you are trying to rationalise upsets you"

It is, however, a pity she that she didn't simply advise her to consider how much she really wants what she thinks she wants. Does she want it enough to become the kind of woman a man would marry? does she want it enough to seek out the kind of man who would marry her, does she want it enough to be a good wife. If so go and get it.

This is a bit like a boy writing in to say how can he stop feeling upset that he never gets picked to play for the school team in his chosen sport. "Well son take a good look at yourself. Are you cut out to play this game or would another game be better? Are you actually a nerd who should stay in the library, a geek who should be playing war games or should you be training harder and training specifically? If you really want this you are going to need to up your game. That is the only way to get picked. Otherwise do something else and get over it. Chad will always be cooler and you will always have to applaud him. Its life"