@waybackmachine

My friend simped FOR me, save my plate

For context I've been recently reintroduced to the single life (saving that for another post). And I've been relearning all of this as I've gotten a bit rusty during a very long relationship.

I invited some guys to a party, aswell as a girl I've been seeing (non-excusive). With one guy I shared some details about my dating stuff to give him some examples as he's been single for a long time. I guess that was my biggest mistake.

So first thing we get to the party this guy says "I've heard so much about you" to the girl... I brushed it off and we went on to party. Then he loudly tells me she's so pretty.

At some point I go to the bathroom and I hear him say I'm such a good guy, I care for him and everyone. The girl should get with me and so on....

I take her back home and of notice the whole dynamic changed, she dried up, no more sex. She tells me the guy told me I really really liked her and I think she's extremely pretty. (He was projecting here, I never even said those things. She's cute sure but not the goddess he made her out to be at all) Aswell as details of us meeting...

Later I called my friend and he confirmed all she and he was only trying to help me, wtf. I didn't expect him to be this deep in nice guy land at all.

Guys is this salvageable? She now thinks I'm even worse of a nice guy then he is... I didn't expect a simp titanic event that would ruin my plate. And we're all 30+ ffs.

Obviously I'll keep my mouth shut to everyone and won't bring this dude anymore. I probably made more mistakes here too haha

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Machiaspinner

Is it possible to plate o former oneitis(severe) ?

Hello everyone, I'm in a dilemma right now and I'd appreciate some direction.

An ex (a carousel cock rider) was the source of a severe oneitis back in my BP days. I never fucked her , was weak at escalating, swallowed a lot of lies, and she already had massive sexual experience when I met her.

When the oneitis hit rock bottom, I decided to break it off and fully focus on self-development. The breakup wasn't easy, but it paid off. I got back in shape, learned game, improved professionally, and started spinning plates. After that, she tried to get back into my life. I gave her a chance, escalated properly + solid make-out this time, and she showed signs of interest. But when I tried to close, she suddenly said she needed commitment and that she wouldn't fuck until marriage because she was "done having fun" (classic say from a CCR).

I told her I wasn't looking for anything serious. She said she loves me that’s why she wants me to commit ( Best beta she knew , but i changed untill then). I soft-nexted her. Later, she reached out again saying she wanted to travel with me , clearly trying to secure a beta-bux situation: invest resources first, maybe get sex later. I ghosted her. She tried reaching out three times over the following year. No response from me. Now, two years later, she sent me an invitation to her graduation. She's 26 now, so yeah she hit the wall.

Currently, I have one plate and one FWB. I'm wondering whether I should give her a chance, attend the graduation, reopen communication, and plate a former oneitis ( who knew me when i was in my BP days) , or stick to the rule: "don't dig through the trash." Has anyone here successfully plated a former oneitis without falling back into old mental patterns?

Thanks in advance.

That depends on the guy and the sort of relationship the couple had. Unfortunately, neither you, nor the relationship you describe, suggests that's much of a possibility. Though you're free to try your luck.

You're just going to have to accept that she had her chance and blew it. There are more worthwhile things a guy can do with their time and energy than retread old tires.

Study the book. Resume blocking her from your contact points, cut ties with anyone who tries to reintroduce her into your life, and keep moving forward with your life. Let her suffer alone as you find your next cum dumpster elsewhere.

Best of luck to you, regardless of what choice you make.