y question: What are your insights? What am I missing here?

You are being utterly socially retarded.

You are being friendly, and then in text you are saying you don't want the friend zone...... and hedging your bets and saying you're not flirting, but you might flirt in future, but you're terrified of the friend zone.

This is ridiculous from her point of view.

Look..... girls are friendly or flirty-friendly, and it's up to you to navigate that into sex, friendship or whatever. But do not expect her to be clear about it - she never will be.

om this chick and this type of wooing or whatever the fuck is going on.It seems to me after last night texts that I have reframed the whole thing, which I always try to do anyways, because of Rian Stone anyways.

After that text from you, I don't think anything is happening with her, or with anyone she knows.

What am I missing? the things you will tell me. I hate the lack of clarity and sperg levels of plausible deniability. So I'm the one having to state the obvious. I agree I should lead the conversation more, but since I have already shown interest from the beggining and her first convo was the words "NEXT (like the tv show)" then what the fuck does she expect lol. I'

Look.

First off...... the wall of text is a big problem for anyone reading it. 99% of this stuff is irrelevant and you know it.

Second.... you hate ambiguity, but women like plausible deniability, so there you have it. You're stuck with it.

How to avoid the friendzone: simple. Don't do favours for her, don't keep in touch all the time, don't instantly respond, don't always initiate and don't do things for her, INCLUDING LISTENING TO HER PROBLEMS. Be unapologetic, be slightly rude if needed, cut her off from talking shit, lead interactions, and never be afriad to tell her you have other options. In other words: be mysterious, don't be her fucking brother.

How to make things happen:

Be flirty. Don't commit. Don't expect certainty. Escalate. DO NOT VERBALISE YOUR INTENTIONS.

That text conversation with her was beyond socially retarded.

Never tell her you don't want the friendzone. Instead act like a sexy man with options and try to make things go how you want them to go.

This post is originally from here: https://coffeedaygame.wordpress.com/2025/12/18/newtons-third-law-of-emotion/

We all have been to school. Eventually, we are taught physics, and a particular concept stands out. Newton's third law: Every action (force) induces an equal reaction (force).

Commonly known as the action-reaction law, well... it holds for our purposes as well. Here is the Daygame version:

Every (negative) emotional action has an equal emotional reaction. The emotion you induce in others, comes back to you

In short, if you are a dick to someone, at some level of your psyche, you are a dick to yourself.

The neuroscience

This is not a random truism, this part of your psyche is real. It exists in your brain structurally, and we know where it is. It is called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC). It sits precisely between the emotional and logical centers of the brain, between what used to be called Mammalian and Monkey brains. Here:

Its function is exactly what you would expect, to resolve contradictions between goals, expectations, and outcomes. Take it away:

Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC): This region plays a crucial role in monitoring errors and detecting conflicts between competing demands or goals. When the brain encounters contradictory information, the ACC shows increased neural activation, signaling that a conflict needs to be addressed.

All cognitive dissonance effects originate from here. It is precisely the part of the brain which causes the famous forebrain-hindbrain conflict in girls: when she wants to fuck you (emotionally) but her forebrain (logic) says no.

It also explains why frame control is so important, precisely because it resolves contradictions (eases tensions) in the minds of the participants. When someone comes under your frame, they're getting real mechanical benefits in their brains.

Emotional negativity comes back to you

We are now ready to explain the full picture. When you treat someone excessively bad for no reason, ACC will come and fight you. In short, for your (negative) behaviour to be congruent, you need to truly believe the other person is a monkey. This is the only scenario that makes the behaviour congruent and won't cause internal conflict.

But for most people, it is impossible to treat strangers like that. There are other parts of the brain that regulate social cohesion, belonging in the group, and status hierarchies. Those prevent excessive blind aggression. Therefore, when a person is unfairly bad to someone else, this creates a cognitive dissonance and induces an equal bad emotion in the person itself.

[Remember: your inner core accurately assesses the situation, despite the sugarcoating of the Ego. There is a part of the brain that sees the world objectively, and you cannot hide from it. This is where the "unfair" part comes from.]

Let us now see where this information comes handy.

Don't be a dick

In Game, what is the poster child of treating girls bad? Of course Asshole Game!

Some asshole Game is good, but don't be "Roissy asshole Game" unless the environment requires it. Firstly, it is ineffective. The whole point of asshole Game is to raise attraction, but we know better now than 2012.

Attraction is created when we break rapport. To break rapport... rapport needs to be established first. If there is a constant push, you will never establish it. You need the pull first, before you can push. So not aimless push, not constant push. Moderate it and integrate it. There is an art to attraction, not blind standardized rules.

The reason to respect these rules is not even about the girl, it is for your own self! Keep disrespecting girls and people for no reason and either of two things will happen:

Your internal world will become congruent with you behaviour to resolve ACC contradictions.

You will be at a perpetual state of self-contradiction.

Neither is good, neither is welcome. This is one sure way to damage yourself in Game.

On top of this, let's investigate laughing. Not a necessary part of attraction, but a good heuristic of it, at least when it comes to verbal based Game.

We know what "laugh" means for humans. Its evolutionary mechanism has been uncovered. Laughing stands to indicate "we are playing now", the situation is not serious at face value.

Well take one and two together and you can see that the "push" only works when it is superficial. A push at face value is not attractive. You need to establish the superficial layer, either via body language, non-verbals or by pulling.

Simply, any attraction material not respecting the above is misplaced. That is the true key to attraction !

She is a bitch

People get hurt when the girl never stops or blows them out quite rudely. It is decently common and happens to the best of us. There is no way to prevent it without excessive calibration (meaning going for only safe sets). Let us investigate this aspect from another point of view.

This is where empathy can help our Inner Game hard. Start thinking from her viewpoint. If she blows you off like that, one of three things must hold:

1) She is hurting herself emotionally as much as she hurts you. (ACC triggers)

2) Her psyche is distorted so the ACC doesn't trigger.

3) She has a genuine reason to not be able to talk now, and her reply shows Social goofiness.

Take a look at these three reasons. These are the only possible explanations.

Number 1 and 2: it is you who doesn't want to meet her. Forget the bouncing ass; she is genuinely engaging in lose-lose situations intentionally. This is all you need to know about her. In the long run, she probably would hurt you much more.

Number 3 is outside of our control as Players. It is the equivalent of screaming at the clouds. We don't control neither her life situation, nor her social aptitude. Accept that it is a realistic scenario that we can do nothing about and move on.

Once the analysis sets in, things become much more manageable and predictable. Inner Game and handling rejection stop being magic, and they follow orderly emotional equations.

Emotional Honesty

Studies on honesty and ACC all conclude the following: lying is cognitively demanding because it requires brain resources to contain conflict in ACC. In short, being honest, morality aside, is much easier on the brain than being dishonest.

Now, this is not a post about morality; I would even claim my blog's direction is more utilitarian than moral. However, we just explained a concept long known in the Daygame community.

Krauser has called it the "emotional rucksack". It is an emotional baggage that beginners and intermediates carry with them. It is written on their faces and a keen observer can catch it from a mile away: a cognitive dissonance between the world in their head and the real world. Eventually, this prevents them from showcasing their true emotions during the approach. Well... ain't this a conflict in the ACC?

That is why self-honesty and emotional projection are core aspects of Inner Game. You are making the Seduction easier for yourself by eliminating conflict in your own brain.

This post is originally from here: https://coffeedaygame.wordpress.com/2025/12/18/newtons-third-law-of-emotion/

I’m 30 and I also work in a corporate tech job, similar salary and all that. I had exactly the same realization at 27 or so. Did the whole changing to a different job in tech and all that, but still boring. A few things that worked for me…

1: realize that once you’ve learned how to do your corporate job, most days you really only need to do about 4 hours of work each day. The rest is either pretending to work or just plain boring. It’s depressing, but better to accept it how it is than wish for something better.

2: what really helped me was finding things outside work to care about. For me, that was a tutoring side hustle, and competitive running, like trying to win races and improve my times. Try different hobbies/hustles out and see what sticks.

3: there’s huge benefit in staying in the tech industry for a few years and saving up. With the savings you can get fuck you money/buy a house/start your own business. And a key advantage you and I have that older people in tech have: we aren’t tied down by marriage and kids. My 60 year old mentor is bored too, but his wife refuses to work (and could never make 6 figures anyway). Remember that our boredom is a luxury. Did I mention that you shouldn’t get married? Yeah, it’s a trap in more ways than one.

Bonus: never date/fuck/relationship with a woman at work. Besides the usual HR risk, tech girls are masculine and don’t look up to you ie they don’t respect you. I went on 3 dates with a girl at work once, she was a raging feminist (despite wanting to take a few years off to make babies lol), and I never even got a kiss in, let alone a fuck.

I feel the same way but I don't make much money at all. I have no hope of investing any potential savings to any meaningful amount for me to be able to ever retire on "time" and stop having to wage slave.

If I was making that kinda money, I would lower my expenses/liabilities, start investing into a globally diversified portfolio and other assets and try to retire by like 35-40, then move to some other place with lower cost of living and probably be a passport bro. I know people who did do that. Were making enough, started saving early enough and basically retired quite early by making smart long term investments. Not sure if that's particularly fulfilling, but at least it would solve having to 9-5...

But that's not my reality since I make little, basically just enough to live alone and cover the bills but not enough for a relationship or family or investments, nor do I have any high paying skills and I am already 29. Future is looking grey and bleak. Sleep, eat, work, maybe workout and surf the internet and that's it.

Luckily at least my job is not too stressful or annoying, so at least I don't have to drag myself through it, but if I don't do something for the long term to start making more money in a better way, then I think I will remain unfulfilled and just existing, alone, and not living, just going through the motions.