If she isn't giving you the five Fs, she's not worth your time.

Fit

No fat chicks. All you literally have to do is not stuff your fucking face. We aren't asking you to have a six-pack or strong muscles or be 6'2". That would be an unreasonable expectation, right? Right? /Stares intently in Tyrone

Feminine

If I'm expected to be a man all the time, you better be wearing a god damn dress and makeup, even at the house. If you give me conditional femininity, you get conditional masculinity. Let's see who cracks first. It will be you. Men are accustomed to women who don't know how to act like women in a relationship. Women aren't ready to be in relationships with men who don't act like men.

Friendly

If my circle disapproves of you, you aren't going to be here long. You won't get invited to lake weekends or random Wednesday beer parties. Why? Because you're a bitch Ashley, and my friends hate you.

Fun

I'd love to enjoy you outside the bedroom. Taking you places should enhance my enjoyment. I don't want to have to drag you along or modify what I'm doing to make sure you're finding joy in it. If you aren't fun outside the bedroom and you're only fun in the bedroom, I wonder what that makes you...

Fucking

You better put out. Enthusiastically. There are 3 billion floor models with your same parts and you can be traded in at any time. You can't trade in a quality man as easy as he can get rid of you. Try it, see what you get.

Spoiler: you go back out onto the market older, with more miles, more trauma and, for some stupid fucking reason, even higher standards because the thought of dating down is anathema.

@imtranscending

Shit like this is increasingly more common reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/vlrc4w/update_my_33m_saw_videos_of_my_fianc%c3%a9_29f/ TLDR is that this dude catches his wife cheating on her bachelorette night at an airbnb with her friends by taking a look at a laptop she left home and was logged into a facebook group chat. The girls were uploading videos to this group chat of the night unfolding. There were videos of 10 dudes showing up at the house, and the fiancé kissing two of them. Then in another video she enters a bedroom with 2 of them. The ladies were obviously drunk, but that doesn't excuse the behavior. Interestingly enough the commenters support OP's decision to break off the wedding in the end.

“The opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.” — Sun Tzu, "The Art of War"

...or herself, as the case may be.

@destraht

I somehow felt that it was wrong to date a chick two grades younger, even though I was a year young for my grade. So basically I shut down some of the hottest chicks of those grades even though they were only about a year younger than me.

The brainwashing is incredibly real.

California has one of the highest age of consent in the world and not just America. Actually only a small handful of states require above 16. But if you have lived in any of those states, the number 18 is somehow sacrosanct. People really believe there is something magical about that number, like somehow the great truth has been captured by the all mighty democratic process. The world literally changes for that person once they turn 18. Nobody ever bothers to think hey maybe this law is bullshit. Whenever you have democracy as your god then equality down to the exact year is the most important thing ever.