@bluepilldoctor

How to give advice as a man and help my best friend who binge drinks all the time?

Giving advice is an important skill as a man and I feel I am not good at it. My best friend for 30 years needs some advice but he isn't listening to me, I feel a bit lost/ helpless as a man/ friend and would love some advice on how to give advice.

I think it all started 2 years ago when his group of friends started getting married and at the same time he broke up with his ex-girlfriend and got rejected by a mutual friend.

Since then, whenever we go out for a social event he gets absolutely smashed/drug fucked and makes an idiot of himself to the point I have to take him home early. Any event he gets paralytic - weddings, birthdays, festivals, a casual catch up for drinks.

For example, today I get a random call from a mutual friend asking me to come pick him up just after midday from a cheese and wine festival because he was paralytic at 3pm.

No matter what he doesn't listen to anyone. He apologizes, says it won't happen again, then does it again. Everyone has tried talking to him telling him they are concerned, his parents, his siblings, other friends but he just doesn't care.

He is 36 and is too old to be acting like this - I'm a little bit concerned there is something deeper going on. I try having a chat asking why he act like this all the time, if he is depressed, happy with life and he just brushes me off tells me he is fine he is just trying to have some fun.

No-one can argue with him either because he doesn't touch alcohol during the week, sometimes for weeks at a time. In-between his binging he is an amazing friend, doesn't touch alcohol/drugs, he is extremely healthy with his foods, gym twice per day, has an extremely good job and is a high performer.

I'm getting concerned seeing him act like this and no taking any-ones advice. I feel like I am letting him down as a friend/ as a man and don't know what to do.

Any advice would be helpful.

Just as being able to provide good advice can be a valuable skill, so too is recognizing when it's not wanted.

If you suspect the problems are related to his love life, consider suggesting your friend invest into a reliable ready reference they can pick up and study to better prepare themself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you make them aware of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. Encourage your friend to review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what they aspire for themself. To save them a search, give them this scribed link to find out if the book is something they'd like to add to their library. It should also be available on libgen.

If shuttling this guy home when he's passed out drunk is a problem for you, and he's not taking any corrective action on his own initiative, difficult as it maybe, you should just let him drink, while working out some alternative to you bringing him home. If he lives near your home, you could coordinate with your mutual friends to have a taxi bring him home, and you take him the rest of the way to mark the transition.