@green_echoe,

Let me congratulate you for actually trying to seek out advice here. I am pretty sure you wanted honest feedback, so I will be very honest.

1. If you're atheist, you do not need to find an atheist. That's a dumbass thing to do. Married life will involve a lot of compromises. If you cannot compromise for your husband/wife, you are setting yourself for dissatisfaction and misery. You might want one, but be ready to compromise and adjust.

2. Your friend circle or your relatives will be the best source if you want to be introduced to solid men who share your values. You will have to filter most of them out (heavily) yourself, but apps are a shit show and a piss poor alternative to real life. Coming to apps....

3. Apps are for hook-ups. They are designed to appeal to the primitive parts of your brain. They are easy for a reason. Anytime anything is easy is rarely nourishing in the long run.

Even the conservative ones, the ones that are geared towards marriage or relationships, are not a good substitute for a good social circle because a contact through a good social circle will come vetted already. You will have to weed out a lot of people if you want to get to similar quality and that is assuming that you are mature enough to do it.

When you are young, you do stand a chance of attracting a wide variety of men, but most of that will be sexual attention, which I assume you do not want. The kind of men you say you want are rare in online dating. Similar to women with options, men with options will either exercise it or will look for someone equally as valuable.

1. On top of everything mentioned in @lionsmane8's comment, if you want to date with the intention of marriage, I suggest you look for a man to marry ASAP. If you're not ready for it, stay a virgin. "Relationship" is a half measure that is vague by intention so that women do not lose status for not being in a marriage. I don't know your culture, but if it is a traditional one, most men worth marrying will not want a woman who has already been fucked by other men. Yes, they might fuck you as well, but their willingness to commit to you will decrease with each man you've fucked. Don't think we cannot tell promiscuous women from honest ones. We absolutely can and will put you in the proper category.

Just another word of caution: You'll be equally as fucked, if you string men along. Don't be a tease. If you don't think it will work out, let them know and move on. Be decisive. While what I'm recommending here might seem strict, all I'm describing here is just traditional-dating with the intent to marry. Be very clear about your intention for marriage and if you are a virgin, be frank about it after you get to know the guy a little and after you've ascertained that he is trustworthy. You have your age working in your favor. 6 years down the lane, no one will give a shit. You have the luxury of some time, but not much. Do not forget that.

1. While looking for a man to marry, you will have to choices: an older accomplished man or a man your age who has potential but is not in your league now. You will be shooting yourself in the foot if you look anything else. Exceptions do exist, but be aware that they are called exceptions for a reason.

2. Now, coming to the elephant in the room: if you are still a virgin and considering you are attractive, you have high chances of getting a traditional and red pill man. Yes, they do exist. @lurkerhasarisen and @houseoftolstoy are two people whom I know of and pop into my mind immediately. Anyone who knows them will know how high their standards are and should have been. You're better off getting advice from men like them than with most red pill men who are younger and are still figuring it out themselves. If they don't have the time, go through their post and comment history in reddit (or in some archive site in case of lurker).

If you're not a virgin, you have already crossed the Rubicon and you will have to go through a relationship stage to qualify and prove that you're worthy of being a wife. You will be able to get most red pill men, but it will be tougher to get the first category I described above.

Also, from what I've seen here, you seem to have a reasonable head in your shoulder, but I want to reiterate that most men do not give a shit about your education. Men want a woman who is young, attractive and is agreeable. You have the first. If you do not have the other two, work on it.

Welcome to the next evolution of Where Are All The Good Men.

This tribe and the WAATGM forum are moderated for decorum and the rules that are listed in the side bar. Please be sure to read them.

A couple of information items before you begin or continue your journey down the WAATGM rabbit hole:

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--For those that are new to WAATGM or those that would like to refresh their memories of a particular post, many of the original reddit posts have been archived for safekeeping and may be found here. You may also find the archive link at the bottom of the side bar (on the right ----------->).

--Be sure to check out our baby forum WhereAllTheGoodMenAre. Just like the original, this is where you can submit and comment on essays which addresses the "Where are all the good men?" phenomenon. Personal stories, theories, venting, and even how awesome life is as a MGTOW are all welcomed, but ultimately it is a place to share your male perspective as to why women can't find a "good man", or why good men are avoiding commitment.

@Green_Echoe

Don't get too drilled down into the details of those exact points. This is not an exhaustive list... there are others.

The important lesson here is that men, like women, have a sort of sub-to-semi-conscious cost-benefit analysis that they do on prospective partners. BUT men's priority list for relationships is completely different than women's, and there tend to be heavy social sanctions against being too honest about that list.

This means that in most social situations, most men will be silent or lie about what we want in a partner.

The reason the term "pickme" is only applied to women, is that "pickme" behaviour is considered normal, and even socially demanded, from men.

What this pattern of silence, lies, and pandering means is that most women are completely deluded about what men want, and how to have a relationship with one.

This is symptomatic of how our society interacts with women. Women are the preferred sex, and the privileged sex, in western culture, but this does not mean that they are treated in a health-promoting way. Western culture prioritizes pandering to women, flattering women, and saying positive things to and about women, over telling women the truth, or what they need to hear.

So, pretty much since the beginning of the modern era, western women have grown up in a situation where they are surrounded by a perfect storm of flattery and lies, told that they are perfect the way they are, and that there is absolutely no need for them to develop character, grow as people, improve themselves, or change in any way apart from acquiring more "self-esteem". Any countervailing message is confined to porn and beer commercials, and dismissed as misogyny.

If alien anthropologists were to watch American television and movies, they would perhaps think that "women's self-esteem" was a rare and precious substance used to catalyze nuclear fusion reactors, or cure cancer, or extend the human lifespan.

In reality, what women's self-esteem is actually used for is turning normal women, with a realistic assessment of their capabilities and weaknesses, into insufferable entitled cunts.

This is why 21st century Hollywood cannot create likable female characters. To be likable, a character must have a character arc... she must grow, change, and develop. But Hollywood cannot bear to depict any female main character as lacking character, morality, competence, or enlightenment, even at the beginning of her story. Thus, there is no way for her to change or grow.

Which is exactly what happens to real women in a society nurtured by such stories. I truly feel sorry for women in today's western society. I mean this literally. It is not a rhetorical expression, veiled insult, or sarcasm of any form. Women are literally being deprived of the feedback they need for healthy psychological development. How can women possibly be expected to know when they need to improve, or what they need to improve, or how they need to improve, if no one will criticize them honestly?

Which brings me, at last, to you.

You believe that your problem is that you don't know where to meet men. I suspect you are wrong, and that is not your problem at all.

Instead, I believe that you would already have at least one, possibly several, good choices for a boyfriend if you weren't already unappealing as a partner, for some reason that no one will tell you about, because they don't want to say mean things to a woman.

To be clear, I do not know you, so I cannot know which of several possibilities is your actual problem.

But, in my experience, very few western women are so cloistered that they will not be approached and propositioned by men, unless there is something in their appearance or behaviour that stops this from happening.

So my suspicion is that you do not need a recommendation for a dating website, but a fearless self-assessment.

@Green_Echoe

The reason women with doctorates often have difficulty finding relationships is that they frequently don't understand how such accolades look from a man's point of view.

Women are attracted to men's resumes (metaphorically, not literally). What can a man do, what has he accomplished, what is impressive about him, does he carry himself with confidence, do other women find him attractive, etc.

But because women understand men far less than men understand women, many women tend to think that men work the same way.

We do not. We are attracted to completely different things in women. What those are is beside the point right now.

The point is that a PhD makes a woman think she is more desirable, but it does not actually make her more desirable. This means that a PhD, while not inherently UNattractive, is a net negative for men, because it raises a woman's opinion of her value (and thus her opinion of what she is entitled to in a partner), without actually raising her value.

Thus, a woman with a PhD is no more impressive to men, but she is harder for men to impress. Hence, it is a net negative.

Additionally, most PhDs come with decreased earning potential, because they place a woman's career in academia rather than industry.

Additionally, most PhDs in non-STEM fields come with a high dose of anti-male indoctrination from Marxist-adjacent humanities professors.

Additionally, most PhDs come packaged with a good deal of student loan debt.

Additionally, a career in academia comes packaged with geographic restrictions... a woman with a industry job can work in many places, a woman with a tech job can work remotely, a housewife can add value anywhere. But a woman in academia must live near whatever university she finally manages to get a tenure-track position at, after years of being paid near minimum wage on the postdoc treadmill. This means that not only does a relationship with such a woman come with reduced income, and little choice about where to live, that lack of mobility can hinder the man's career as well, reducing his income potential.

Additionally, the process of getting a PhD utterly occupies her attention and time during her youth, which is not only the time when she is most physically able to have healthy children, but also the time when her personality is completing its formation... meaning that instead of growing together with her man, like two trees wrapping around one another, she will attain her final form, then have to seek someone who fits with that, which is far from impossible, but also far from easy.

The old saw about men wanting debt-free virgins with no tattoos is quite correct, but it runs deeper than that. What's really going on is that while women are attracted to who a man is at the finish line (wealth, success, status, power, calm, composure, confidence, a sense of his place in the world), men are attracted to who a woman is on the journey (growth, discovery, youthful enthusiasm, flexibility, openness to experience, empathy, playfulness).

It is by no means impossible for a woman to retain these qualities into her thirties, but a woman's twenties, and, to be honest, her late teens, are attractive to a man, and he would prefer that she spend them with him, rather than with a thesis entitled "Juxtabrachial Organ Secretions in the Higher Mollusks", which ten people will ever read, eight of those being on her doctoral board.

If you're smart enough to get admitted to a PhD program, it will be easy for you read the examples I've given here and come up with still more reasons why a PhD is not an attractive checkbox for a woman to tick off.

This is why, despite having a high enough intellectual caliber to avoid being "intimidated" by highly educated women, I would still not really be all that interested in marrying a woman with a PhD.

I would rather not be stuck living in California, trying to afford a house there on two five-figure incomes, while my wife goes to work every day with peers whose favorite topic of conversation is how white people are bad, heterosexuals are bad, and men are bad.

The reason that men, on average, aren't going to college anymore is that we recognize that it is no longer a value proposition... it is instead a debt trap, filled with anti-male propaganda, and devoid of actual scholarship, learning, objectivity, empirical science, open discourse, or intellectual honesty.

People in academia are becoming gradually less and less worth having a conversation with, because the premises that they all agree on and accept without question have become gradually more and more insane and disconnected, not only from the mainstream culture of first world western civilization, but from basic empirically observed facts.

That is simply not the collection of women that I would look among for a suitable wife.