Another update on my long-time Friend.

He moved into Hospice yesterday, on the one year anniversary of his Wife's sudden death. He called me the day before and told me he was going there and didn't want any questions asked.

He is having trouble swallowing, and in turn isn't eating much. His Step-Daughter had a heart-to-heart with him about it because she noted a rapid decline over the prior week. She is involved in the Medical Field and familiar with the signs and she may have pulled some strings to line up Hospice in short order.

She told him that it was either go now and be in a good place, or take a chance and end up being in Emergency Care while on a wait list. Wisely, he set aside his normally obstinate thinking and chose the first option.

I am waiting to hear back from his Step-Daughter on what kind of timeline they are expecting as we want to book a flight to go see him before it's too late. His 69th Birthday is in early June and is not expected to live until then.

It's been a shitty few years for him, to say the least.

Some of it was a direct result of him willfully choosing to not deal with the realities of life surrounding him (Happy Wife, Happy Life and it's not worth the fight) and the Cancers took away his ability to work, not just for income, on his own passion projects in his dream shop. Most of that was either sold for less than what it was worth, given away or hauled to the dump.

During one dump run, I told him to go stand at the front of my truck and not look because I knew just how painful it would be to see so many parts that he had carefully scavenged from wreckers being tossed into the pit. I felt the pang of loss as I did it.

That was about the time he stopped Chemo. Looking back, it seems obvious he no longer felt had the will to keep going and just wanted to have a clear head on the way out.

I can only hope they keep him comfortable up to his last moments and I get to see him one last time.

Latest update on Friend

He is moved, from a large house with shop to a 1 bedroom with den condo.

So much was taken to the dump, three 5-ton loads plus the couple in my pickup. My Wife and I spent several days sorting through stuff and making piles of trash, donate and items we took ourselves. We did find items that had significance which would have ended up in the garbage if we hadn't gone through the piles and set them aside.

Still has too much stuff and has been picking away at it. The chemo has lowered his energy levels, so progress is slow. He still has the two dog and a cat to deal with because he feels like he would be ruining their lives by re-homing them, yet, their need for constant attention taxes his patience, and he doesn't have a lot of that.

Far as I can tell, he is still angry with his late Wife. Not just because she had kept so much financial stuff hidden from him, we are all sure that she hid her own physical issues from everyone, leading to her sudden death.

Currently, he is angry with his Oncologist, and has told me he is not going to do any more chemo until he gets a different Dr., risky behaviour at best, toddler tantrum most likely. I get that chemo does shit-kick your body, makes you feel drained and messes with your thought processes, however, his decision (IMHO) is reckless. I understand his reluctance to continue and respect his decision, even if I think it unwise. He's an adult.

Still resisting the idea that he NEEDS to get some therapy to help deal with everything that has happened in this year, and the ones leading up to it.

I've tried to gently point out that she's gone, he's free from the crippling debt, still standing and now, any messes to clean are his alone.

I call him every few days, just to check in. I will see him again in December when we go back to spend Christmas with our Daughter and family. I hope he makes some forward progress in both his mental and physically health. Maybe he'll come for dinner.

Update on my Friend

Was over to visit with him a few times in the past month while we spent time with our Daughter/Granddaughter.

He is living moment to moment. On the upside, his last lab results showed a downward trend in the markers for his latest Cancer and he is waiting on results for the latest CT scan. Cautiously optimistic on that.

His house sold for above asking on the first day it was shown. He has to be out by the end of September and should have enough to find something small, comfortable and more importantly, not in need of renovation. He is not up to the task of doing repairs and maintenance.

Downside is trying to figure out what to do with all of the stuff accumulated between the two of them over the years they've been together.

He is a car guy with extra parts he doesn't have the time to deal with. Some of it is near unobtanium and he's very afraid it will just end up in a dumpster bin. While I was there one particular day, he had someone come over to pick up two complete G-body dashes that he had taken the time to pull from donors at a Wrecker Lot. He had taken the time to get the heater controls freed up so they were like new.

A 69 C-10 with a 350 Stroker went to a Neighbour's Son for $3,000 (should have been double that amount). He has a 75 Torino Elite that is ready to drive and a 79 LTD with a 473 that was torn apart and only needs the interior installed. He hasn't even fired up the engine since the build was completed. I introduced him to one of my Son's friends, who has automotive/heavy-duty experience, that may be able to help him pare down the pile of good spare parts.

His late Wife bought a lot of stuff... Expensive things still in boxes were stuffed into a bedroom. There wasn't anywhere in the house that had not been touched by her. I'm sure a good deal of it will go to the dump.

Some of it triggers great emotion in him. He told me about some of the things she had done, or failed to do. The time the lights went out because she didn't pay the electric bill, or the $4,000 gas bill because she turned up the thermostat in the garage to maximum, forgot about it and he found out a week later. A small lottery win was a shopping spree.

I'm glad to have been able to help him out in small ways, such as taking down and boxing two custom neon signs, cleaning out some storage space he's unable to get into because he has the two bags hanging from his mid section.

We'll be going back in another 3-4 weeks, and I'll spend some more time, even if it's just to listen.