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I'll write a main post on this soon, but I had some divine wisdom today.
A man's number one goal and priority in life MUST be his mission and purpose. We talk about this in Red Pill in very general and superficial ways. We also bring it back to how this will win women, or make you attractive, or huge value. If this is still in you head when it comes to your purpose, then your priorities and end-goal haven't changed at all.
As a man, you must have a vision of your ideal self. A position, aspiration, goal of SOMETHING you want to do with mastery and impacts others and community.
Something that a man says 'I want to do this thing to absolute best of my ability'. A vision of something that will push a man to grow, achieve mastery, face challenge, and allow a man's natural self-actualizing tendency to take hold.
To do something brilliantly. To do something with intellectual understanding of it, and perfection of skillful execution. That something through which he will be a leader and an example of man's ability to do something to an exceptional standard.
Too often men think a relationship with a hot woman is the ultimate girl. To win her commitment, marriage, endless sex. On a deeper, truer level, if many men explored their inner organismic experience they would find this ill prioritized goal is their driving force. Even men in Red Pill will exclaim 'everything is ultimately for sex'.
If a relationship, being the perfect husband, boyfriend, the man with 'hot woman' on his arm is his priority, everything is out of order.
Humanistic psychologists such as Carl Rogers, Victor Frankl and Abraham Maslow theorized that men have a deep and natural drive and desire for self-actualizement, a 'will to meaning' and becoming a 'fully functioning person'.
If a man's inner belief is 'the hot woman' is the ultimate priority, then all his natural inner drives will be focused on this. Men want to be their best, and they run the risk of aiming their natural inner tendencies towards becoming the 'perfect boyfriend', 'the most attractive guy', 'the best provider', 'better than other men because they fuck a 10'.
It's the ultimate form of people-pleasing, co-dependency and self-sacrifice. It's out of order, because if he does get the girl, what else does he have? He will become dull, boring, lifeless.
If a man's goal, purpose, craft, mastery is his number one priority, everything is in order. To have a goal of being his absolute best at something, means that his will to grow, push himself, self-actualize, pursue meaning and his ideal self is rooted in that thing. It is the ultimate drive forward.
Other things follow, but they have less hold in his life.
For myself, I ultimately no longer give a shit about 'smv', ' game' , whoever 'Chad' fucks. Whatever.
I realised today that I am driven by and fully immersed in doing what I do for my mission better than anybody else. I realised that over the last few months I have entered into something so much more rewarding and affirming. It brings out everything the great psychologists spoke of. My will to meaning, my push to be my ideal self, and congruence between my inner organismic drive and my true self.
I feel no envy for the guys who want to obsess about women. Who make pseudo-scientific claim like ''everything is ultimately for pussy', 'a man needs to sort his sex life first'.
Explore what your ultimate priority is. What is your ideal self? Your highest aspiration. What do you pursue total mastery of which others can't?Read More
@tb87670 Yes, I now have my emotional fill centred in other things.
I have moments where a girl gets flakey, or I wonder if I responded correctly to her flakiness, etc.
Then in no time I remember 'ah, all good...I have , to do'
A man undoubtedly needs many real and reliable sources of emotional fulfillment other than chicks.
I remember listening to Alpha Male Strategies talking about this. He said he passed a point in the game where he realised he was happier doing his own thing and it really made him not care about women's bullshit and flakey behaviour.
Definitely outcome independence with girls is a key element of a man's sanity, haha
@INNASKILLZ2K20 Abundance mentality supposedly fixes this issue in a blunt manner. That time my foot was injured I did lose that first date but I wasn't devastated over it, I had 2 others lined up and I was able to renegotiate a better time/place to meet with both of them. If all of them ghosted me like the first then I would've simply gotten a few books and movies and enjoy the time off while healing. Outcome independence keeps a man sane.
@tb87670 absolutely. Who the fuck knows what someone really means. Is it truth or fiction?
The point to aspire to is where you don't care. Like not caring one way or the other.
I have found a simple 'ok' to be enough.
'ok' is very ambiguous. It leaves room for girls to get a shock at your nonchalant attitude. You never know what her reasons are, and better not to shoot yourself in the foot.
But the key is to truly not care.
@INNASKILLZ2K20 There is nuance, I stepped on a nail and couldn't walk a few years back for a week. I had a first-date set up for us to walk in the park for the next day. I even shown her the pics of my jacked foot, she basically ghosted me then finally replied said she thinks I'm playing her. Sometimes shit happens. Sometimes they are playing you using those excuses. That's life, it sucks, keep navigating the waters instead of letting the current drag you around.
Lmfao. This is what Red Pill can do. Make a motherfucker so OBSESSED with everything being about female sexual strategy they become neurotic, paranoid dudes...
'hey, did you get my msg?
'yeah, sorry I just had a DR's appointment'.
'DIE EVIL WOMEN, I KNOW HYPERGAMY WHEN I SEE IT, ROLLO AND RED PILL TAUGHT ME ALL ABOUT YOU'