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Ok, so SHE wants to take a break for HER reasons. She wants to do this for whatever reason which benefits her.
At the same time, she wants another human being who she is no longer meeting the needs of, to put themselves on hold for when they're ready.
That is the most self-centred, selfish bullshit. Imagine saying to someone 'man, I really want to take a break' followed with 'omg, I can't believe you did that'.
Dude, she's 'taking a break'. She relinquishes all responsibility to meet someone's needs, is sorting out her own needs, but expects to still control what someone else does.
You need to get out of your 'moralizing', stop self-shaming and start doing the adult thang.
Put it back on her. 'Oh, I'm sorry I thought we were on a break'. Be non chalant about it. Don't lean into her emotional state, don't entre her frame, don't give a fuck.
Her decisions and selfishness is hers to sort out. Not yours.Read More
@Ewajaa03 read the examples and it will clarify better then my summary. Hence why its on the sidebar. 'Glossary of shaming tactics'. Near the top.
What I read is she dumped you so she could fuck another dude and if it didnt work you were her fall back guy who she wouldnt think would fuck around. Regardless she's a fling and who you put your dick in isnt her concern. Skipping over your stupidity for informing her or going back to her (lack of self respect).
So she gaslit you by shaming you about something you shouldn't be ashamed about.
Aka your deep in her frame.
@Ewajaa03 You didn't cheat on her. You guys took a break. She will do anything to make herself appear as a victim.
She is not a victim, she is stupid. Do not let her stupidity get to you like that.
She more than likely found another guy too, during the break but won't tell you about it.
Am I in the wrong?
Okay so last evening my girl found out I was texting other girls when we just started talking (1 month) and that when we had a break I fucked my side chick. Now she says I cheated (this is bullshit right we just texted for a month and of course she isn’t the only one then, and I fucked my side when SHE wanted a break) but I find it hard to live with myself because I don’t want to be a cheater and always swore loyalty. How do I overcome this feeling? Of selfdisgust and the idea I betrayed her
@Rearden2012 You gotta actually ask them to leave with you. have a fun story after party/cool place down the street. Towards the end of the night, but not AT the end of the night. That's your problem. You gotta ride the roller coaster of emotions shes feeling, if you validate her all the way through at the club she has no reason to leave. But if you slowly give her a little bit and she wants more and more and you give her a little more then be like "lets get out of here" or "anyways, back to my moms basement if you wanna come?" shes more likely to go with you while on the roller coaster, then she is after the ride is done and she got off. Hope that makes sense.