7mo ago The Hub
@Cynicalvx That was an expensive night in. Ruined my mattress and my phone!
@Cynicalvx Sounds like you're drifting on accomplishing some of your goals. There are guys who really benefit from simply making a list each day of things they want to get done, and checking them off as they go. Adds structure and self-accountability, and longer term fine tuning of motivation and accomplishment.
1y ago TheRedPill
Shame doesn't help you quit.
Addiction is very simple to understand if you're not a jackass who is allergic to thinking of the body as a mechanism.
Dopamine, the neurotransmitter most associated with pleasure and motivation, is excititory. That is, in a synapse, it causes the next neuron to fire. Neurons firing is generally a good thing... that's why neurons exist. But firing is work. When neurons fire a lot, they get tired. If they fire even more, they can work themselves to death and die.
So, when neurons start to get "tired", they defend themselves by becoming insensitive. They resist firing and require a bigger dose of dopamine to make them fire again, until they are rested.
If you hit them with so much stimulation that you overwhelm this defense, they start to die.
Does this sound familiar? Stimulus, tolerance, addiction. Nicotine, cocaine, heroin, sex, gambling...
Dopamine.
When you're abusing your neurons with too much dopamine stimulus, then it takes more and more of your chosen substance to give you pleasure. Eventually, you're not getting pleasure at all... you're just junkying up to avoid feeling shitty.
Depressed, unmotivated, in pain. Dopamine insensitivity.
Solution?
Less dopamine, more serotonin.
Another neurotransmitter. Also feels good, but different. Happiness, not pleasure. Can't overdose on serotonin. Can't get addicted. Can't burn out.
Why not? Serotonin is inhibitory. Makes nerves NOT fire. Can't exhaust a nerve by not firing it.
No tolerance. No addiction.
What increases serotonin? Things that bring happiness (not pleasure). Connection to other people. Feelings of accomplishment. Exercise. Relaxation.
When was the last time you cooked a meal and sat down to it with someone else? When was the last time you hung out with friends? When was the last time you did something you were proud of? When was the last time you lifted? When was the last time you had a good time with a girl with your clothes on?
Hard to fight addiction with dopamine insensitivity and no serotonin.
Your hormones control you. Anyone who thinks different is a chump. So you control you by controlling your hormones. What controls your hormones? Your environment. Your experiences. Your surroundings.
Move.
Read More1y ago TheRedPill
@adam-l I appreciate the input whilst actually imagining my position rather than saying just chase bitches.
I’ve realised I don’t socialise anymore and I think I genuinely like being around people but since a 3 years ago when I stumbled upon Ask/TRP I’ve been training myself to be alone. It appears to me in that self improvement time I’ve grown significantly, I’m sat at the table as an independent company negotiating daily with some of the biggest companies in the country on stocks.
The traits I’ve built etc and the frame I’ve developed in business it’s just insane but it’s like I’ve put my life on hold and I’ve realised that and I think that’s why I try escape.
I’ve been saying one thing in my head this whole time and I’ve hated what it’s done to my mental health but I’ve said I ain’t wasting this opportunity, you’ll never see me in 10 years and say how did that thing go and il say I pissed it away because il be out partying and socialising all the time.
I’m just gonna move out and get back into social circles
Read More@Cynicalvx of course.
Why the fuck let the money slip through your hands, especially if you have lived in scarcity before? It's not an easy thing to do.
Usually you have to get really sick, spend some time in hospital, contemplate death, things like these, in order to shake your thought process and priorities and reorient your life
What's better is if you can balance it before that happens.
1y ago TheRedPill
@Whisper reading this again I think I can’t moderate it, like I get it stay in the war but I think nicotine is so addictive and causing so much shit to my vessel that it’s not something worth moderating. But then my mental strength is weaker when I’m just knackered from poor sleep, it’s a viscious cycle. I’m quitting coffee and pre work out and gonna taper off on tea, moving out and in the process with a mortgage guy also so hopefully I can just open up my environment and start living in the moment and stop trying to escape the moment for the golden day of ‘im there now’
Thanks
1y ago TheRedPill
@adam-l whenever I can’t seem to control it is the problem, yea probably, coffee no chance, it’s clearly an environment thing but then I ask this. Who here can make $1500 a day and who wouldn’t grab it with both hands and refuse to let go. It’s funny because I want freedom but can’t control myself atm.
1y ago TheRedPill
Moderate your feelings of shame.
"I know I should stop, and I want to, but I can't" is what the word "addiction" MEANS.
You've been hyperfocusing on your mission, doing things that hurt, and self-medicating for that pain with unhealthy sources of dopamine.
You obviously need to make a change, and you know what you need to do. But what you need to understand is that this isn't a battle, it's a war.
You're going to fail. Over and over again. Expect it. If it weren't something you're likely to fail, then you would have done it already, first try. You have to allow yourself to fail as many times as it takes to stop failing.
OK so obviously you have to take a bit of action, and soon.
The big thing you need, is a plan. Right now you are making money, which is not bad in itself, but it runs you, instead of you controlling it.
As I see it, there are those two ways: if it is manageable to tune it down, do so. 15 years of enjoyable work are arguably better than 5 of hellish on, plus 10 of no plan. You 'll have time to do something physical and social. Social dancing would be nice, check out what community activities are around, these kind of things. You want to build a social circle. Depending on your social skills, you might have to start low, build up, then move on to doing your own "tribe".
Is tuning it down really impossible?
1y ago TheRedPill
@adam-l went on holiday last year but worked during it whilst in the Sun, I don’t really go out much I feel like I’m holding myself in a comfort zone and one day something will just switch and I’l get back to being healthy and having plates again.
Moving out soon I think that’ll help. I’ve recently changed my system in terms of how my day goes and it’s more sustainable now as I have more free time in the evenings but then I’m like wtf do I do so I play video games. It’s like I’m waiting to be released and I’m not trying atm.
I just want financial freedom give me $500,000 in the bank and il probably relax a bit I feel like I owe it to my future and past self to get that money but I’m just in such a viscous circle. I kind of don’t like myself atm, I wake up with random pulses of cortisol in the night and ignore it like nothings happening.
I have no desire to go out or go anywhere. I’m in a whole, I often spend my evenings in my comfort zone reading stupid shit on twitter.
Again, if it’s just about quitting it il do that but I’m trying to find out what the reason is that I can’t do it and others can.
All my whining here is because I clearly have insane levels of anxiety from this and it’s fucking me up and making me seek comfort. But what do I tweak?
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