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deeplydisturbed Desperate for a flair
12 minutes ago The Public Square
I did see the comments. Things are turning around slowly
13 minutes ago The Public Square
@Typo-MAGAshiv Yup. It's just one of those things a man's gotta deal with, and never expect any recognition for dealing with well. And it's precisely why score keeping in a relationship is always going to be a losing proposition for the man. 'Cause when you end up on the couple's therapist's sofa, "I listen to her blabbering without losing my shit" doesn't carry the same weight as "I mop the floors".
25 minutes ago The Public Square
@Durek_The_Bald shit, just try getting one of them to STFU for a few minutes and enjoy the silence with you.
No, they just have to jabber.
31 minutes ago The Public Square
I think that low bar (in our eyes) is high for them precisely because women are less capable.
The first part of that sentence is most definitely true, although I wouldn't necessarily say it's because they're "less capable" overall. We are different, and have different strengths and weaknesses.
But yeah, to us, expecting something like: "Just don't be a pain in the ass" sounds easy and low-bar. But to them it's hard, because they're emotional and entitled of nature.
38 minutes ago The Public Square
Tale I'd like to share for comment/reflection: A dear friend of mine who got married about 25 years ago, divorced about 8 years later. She's a bar floozie he knocked up (could have done better) and he wifed her up. Had a second child with her. She continued to drink at bars with her friends (not screwing around, just irresponsible), smoking, and so on while he was being responsible and taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, and so on. He asked her politely, but firmly, to clean up her act. So... she thought that the divorce court was going to give her cash and prizes so she served him divorce papers. He was prepared for this (didn't want it, but was prepared) and even in a woman-friendly divorce court, he got shared custody, no alimony/child-support, and while she got more than she deserved from community property, it wasn't a jackpot she hoped for. She begged for a reconciliation (this is important!) and he refused. He felt betrayed.
He was optimistic at that time and thought the smarter daughter would do well in business (thinking purple pill about a successful career woman) and the older daughter, who was mentally disabled, would find a nice guy to take care of her. The ex-wife was bitter about "losing" and alienated the smarter daughter for the next 12 years that he had broke the family up. That obviously isn't true, but he did reject the reconciliation. I have a photo of the daughter (won't share out of respect) but she's 23 and obese, blue hair, and dresses like she's homeless despite now working at NASA.
The mentally disabled daughter isn't married and lives with the mother who now, after the girl is over 21 ironically, he's been ordered to pay "child support" for life to the ex-wife. He says he wants to go full hermit and put all of his money in a trust or with his mother and hide out in a foreign country to simply escape (out of principle) the bitter ex-wife hunting him like a dog for child-support in perpetuity.
Of course, I didn't say that if I knew how the two daughters would turn out, I'd have preferred to not have them. Neither are having grandchildren and they're being used as weapons against him.Read More
44 minutes ago The Public Square
Hey guys, need some help and perspective.
I'm 18 years old and indian and i've been living with my parents( and a sister) all my life.
My mom is sole earner, my mom is SAHM and my sister is bit older than i am. My relationship with my family has deteriorated since quite some time now.
My family's only goal to make me study and get me to be successful to that I can give them the lifestyle they never had. My mom tells me about all the things she went me to do and things she want to buy.
This has been bugging me since a long time. I have told my parents i don't want to live with them when i start earning. I don't like where this is going.
Their argument is that they are paying up for my stuff( school, clothing, food, etc) and i would repay them later on.
Whenever i complain about everything, they start with the stupid argument that someone have it worse. Some kids are starving, other are homeless blah blah. I'm tired of shit because they don't allow me to do anything else. Don't allow me to meet women. I can't go out bit late.
My family isn't even rich by any means. We are middle class.
Whenever i ask this question on indian forum or to people i know in real life, i get gaslighted. People tell me who is going to take care of my parents when they are old. This honestly feels like prison.
I told them all sort of argument why this is just ridiculous and either they are dumb or too clever to get the time.
They know i'm academically gifted so they are trying to leech off of my success.
What should i do? Should i move them and cut them off or give some sort of closure?
Need help of some fellow dudes because you guys are awesome.
Seems like the big question for you is, should it be expected that you work yourself to death to provide your parents a retirement of pure unbridled luxury? Not by a long-shot, but I see nothing wrong with you, in time, eventually buying a reasonable sized plot of land in the countryside on which you can build a modest guest house that has enough space to comfortably accommodate your aged parents and another house for your own household. I'd even go so far as to suggest buying enough land that it can be used to produce crops for your future household with a surplus you can either sell, or distribute among your close kin.
Right now, you've nothing to gain from getting into a fight with your parents or burning bridges should you move out. It's also pointless to expect empathy from your countrymen, so I'd recommend learning to use the various forum block and ignore functions.
Use this time to figure out a plan for your future that enables you to develop and maintain a manageable work/life balance. When you graduate, get the job that enables you to pay off the debts you've contributed to. When done, build up your savings. If lying and theft is a normal occurrence within your parents household, develop the plans with some consideration that your privacy will not be respected. Be ready for your family to open your mail, listen to voice messages left for you, listen in on phone calls that you make, steal money from you outright, or call your school, future prospective employers, and landlord to keep tabs on you.
If I was in your situation, I'd start by installing password management software on my smartphone and computer. I'd also make it a habit to begin going to the gym, putting on some muscle. If mom complains that it takes away from your studies, put the burden on her to prove it and keep working out. Use this time to experiment and develop methods to protect your privacy, but maintain the discipline needed to ensure others can't manipulate you to their ends.
Basically, learn to not be a doormat.
As for women, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library.Read More
51 minutes ago The Public Square
@Bozza I love how you went meta on the topic in order to avoid triggering her being defensive or quibbling over what constitutes a "high value woman". Kudos!
Another aspect to HVW paradigm is the fact that women lose their value with age and in the past, they sold it to men as a package deal sort of like a mobile phone plan where you have to keep a phone for 3 years. We locked in to a young woman to get kids and a lifetime companion who remembered us in our youth. I make photo albums of when my wife and I started dating, our child's first years, and so on. At the age of 50, what's the point of hitching up with someone who, even if she's still hot, will hit the wall within a few years?
I was SAVED from a fate worse than death when I fell head-over-heels for a 50 year old woman and she annoyed me until I dumped her. She was a good attorney though so I referred a friend to her 5 years later and I asked what she looked like and he described her as a "grandmother" meaning she had aged about 20 years in the course of 5. What motivation is there for a smart man to commit his lifetime accumulation to a relative stranger whose going to hit the wall in 5 to 10 years?
Jeff Bezos is an idiot.Read More
about an hour ago The Public Square
@Chantfire nice find. She seems solid.
Also checkout this, although they are a bit traditionalist:
about an hour ago The Public Square
@Typo-MAGAshiv myself included, but she raises a good point in one her works about the "anti-male bias", according her research the APA (American Psychological Association) believes "that the majority of mental health conditions experienced by men and boys are the result of toxic masculinity" and that "the companion guidelines for treating women and girls blame the majority of their mental health conditions on toxic masculinity". Subsequently I've concluded that the APA as "developers and promoters ethical standards for psychologists, have an anti-male bias and their guidelines and framework for ethical decision-making and professional conduct in various settings, should be ingested with deep caution.
2 hours ago The Public Square
@Redpillray it'll get worse before it gets better