@gamepilled

How do I work on my confidence? I have a major problem with it.

I have a major confidence problem, because it comes from intense childhood trauma and is much bigger than the usual problem of being a nice guy who can snap out of it.

Growing up, I was a very shy and weird kid no one liked. It was worse than the usual shy kid, because mine is an actual major problem that comes from a different source.

I was bullied and I think normies loathed me. Now it's different, but the underlying major confidence issue remains. I am improving on it by virtue of recovering from the trauma as time goes on, but it's not enough. That's a really slow process.

People want to hang out with me now because I did an active effort on social skills, but I keep getting small cues, sometimes even comments, that make it clear that I come across as insecure. Such as someone acting like I'm below him on the pecking order, or someone saying that she noticed I'm more confident lately (aka she noticed I lack confidence in the first place).

By the way, I am a 32 year old virgin, never even tried to get a woman, no woman showed romantic interest in me either, and didn't even socialize for the vast majority of my life.

I also have a chin that's so comically recessed I look ridiculous. But just now I grew a beard and that has been a massive looks improvement (I shape it carefully too). It's actually really thick and basically a jaw extension so I feel like I have a new face. A friend asked why I used to shave, I said, "idk, I had the habit and didn't question it, that was stupid", but to be honest, I actually know, and the harsh truth is that it felt weird to see myself as being masculine in the mirror.

By the way, my social life revolves around dancing and that's where I will, from now on, get over fear of rejection and approach women.

Right now I can't dance because I broke a hand by working out (which I also picked up recently), which is affecting me emotionally, and that's why I'm reconsidering all this. I found out about the redpill just now. And by reading game I noticed that it all revolves around confidence, and how important confidence is for people. And that I have to do something about this. I'm sick of people's shit, I'm sick of being treated like I'm low on the pecking order or a wimp, and I feel that I have to take that more seriously and really do something about it.

Are there some behaviors I can practice, or something I can do to see a fast change in the way I come across? So people don't instantly think that I'm insecure? My opinion is that I could leverage my social skills I've been acquiring, which allow me to have an understanding of what behaviors make me come across as insecure, and just pay more attention and make myself curb that problem. And then by behaving differently it will reflect on my self perception.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Self-confidence usually grows as a result of pursuing and overcoming the various challenges of life. During which time, you come to understand what interests, drives, and motivates you. To that end, I suggest that you get yourself two sheets of paper and a pen.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, get to work. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, then start over. If you need help, ask. There's no shortage of #books we can recommend that may help you achieve your goal.

Best of luck to you.