I want to type this in an efficient way because otherwise it can be pages long. will be short and very general.
I feel like I lost my masculinity...
why?
- SSRIs fucked my sexual functioning 5 years ago
- my last girlfriend was japanese and made me more feminine over time somehow (nipple licking during sex, making me wear stupid japanese metrosexual fashion etc)
- General society tries to destroy any masculinity so I cannot find masculine spaces anymore (even MMA gyms are fucking feminized these days... hard to find any hardcore one that trains hard)
- generally everyone around me is fucking feminized as well. I used to want to train like 4-5 hours a day but could not find anyone who would train with me (MMA) now its even worse! its like everyone wants to be a fucking casual
- turning 30 soon, and idk if its age or not but I lost my drive. idk why... i used to have lots of drive to train, etc... even with anhedonia and general "brain damage" from SSRI shit drugs
- i just feel generally, depleted. like my masculinity is just gone, and this shit around me is not helping at all. Is it just me?
If anyone can relate or has an ideas how to relight the fire again let me know...
edit: before anyone says stuff, i already have a good job, i am high level MMA, my fitness is high (although i did get skinnier so I can go lower weight class), my success is generally ok. But, living in NA I am kind of lonely in the sense of not being in a lively place. I do have close friends though. Its way too hard to meet anyone other than dating apps and those are shit.
When you have some time to spare get yourself a pen or pencil, some paper, and sit down. On that paper, write down a list of the things that you've put off doing due to other concerns. Don't worry about how silly or dumb the idea you put off was, just focus on writing them all down. Then take another sheet of paper, and write those things down in the order you think is easiest to most difficult. Then make the time to gradually knock those things out.
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