@dreams

My first lay after a break

Field report and ranting:

I re-opened a girl on snapchat I had slept with before a few years back. I got her to come over a few days later and I slept with her. She has a nice body, face is alright. She ended up leaving after the second round (like 1 hour and 30 mins and she was gone) which was unexpected to me. I don't mind hanging out with the girl after sleeping with her but I realize that this may be one of my shortcomings. I have an issue with keeping my whores as whores and letting them deeper into my life. If she is really fine I tend to want to spend more time with them, if she's ugly I usually want to get away after the lay. The issue is that if the girl is fine and a whore then spending time with them gets you emotionally bonded to them (that is troublesome), and since I live a life of solitude (work remote), it can be nice to have someone to be around and be friends with (but again that shit is a relationship whether there is a tag or not).

Usually girls that do that (want to leave quickly) are whores. She had sucked it before when she was drunk (a few yrs ago) but not this time (she declined)... not sure if I'm not attractive enough while she's sober or if this girl has standards (as she knows she has a nice body and can get away with bossing guys) or anxiety issues (probably a mix of all idk). I should have probably kicked her out of my bed right there when she said no but beggars can't be choosers. She also is just weird in that she wanted her tits to be covered and when I was hitting it from behind she seemed uncomfortable ... like she didn't want me to see her asshole or something.. that is until i started hitting the right spot and she just relaxed into her self and started enjoying it. IDK seems weird maybe she has anxiety? anyway...

It's my first lay as I was on a break from fucking since I had slept around so much before (slept with only two girls past two years after sleeping with 100+ before). I got sick of it and life got in the way of me being at my best so I took a break. So I'm just now remembering how to deal with girls...

She initially did give me the date when the next time she might come is but I think she called me on the weekend and I was a bit annoyed that she had me as a "back up" plan and told her as much ("oh so I'm your back up plan"?). She wanted to see me Sunday instead of Fri/Sat which I thought was weird given that well what could be more important than me and she genuinely enjoyed me fucking her (and she said she wished she planned it better so she could stay longer). She had told me she wasn't seeing anyone (which I now realize was stupid of me to believe given her history) which probably played into my annoyance with her putting me on the back burner. That moved me down her totem pole (telling her oh im your backup, yes stupid me) as she went from giving me specific days when she might come by to telling me she would let me know when she's free. I didn't know that she was dating anyone, so she likely was seeing her bf or something on Fri/Sat (or so I think) since she seemed very flaky on scheduling (also she left my place during the day after 1-2 hours to drop off her niece.... smells of bullshit).

Since then, for the past 1-2 weeks she keeps messaging me asking me what I'm doing and doing little check ins (sometimes sending me photos) and when I ask her to come over she says "when she's free she'll let me know". Anyway, she's been playing this stupid game where she texts me for attention to see what I'm up to (whether I'm fucking another girl probably and if she should come fuck me instead) and I played my cards stupidly (took her inquiries at face value instead of realizing her motives behind it) until I finally realized what she was doing.

I think my issue is that when I get these texts, I'm taking it at face value like "oh she texted me, she wants to see me" whereas in her mind it is "let's see if he's worth fucking again" which I now realize I need to keep my machiavellian hat on at all times. After she reaches out I try to initiate a meet up which I think takes away from my standing as I've invited her over multiple times for which she declined and made an excuse. Eventually I realized she asks what I'm doing to see whether I'm doing something or not, and if I'm not making her jealous or feel like I'm doing something important without her, her mind goes "oh well not gonna fuck him because he's obviously not fucking anyone else" (she knows I won't date her as she's made jokes to indirectly push it in that direction and I've responded implicitly like ... it's not that easy bitch).

Anyway, I'm annoyed because she has lied to me (it's my fault for believing the lies) and now she is constantly "testing" me, messaging me to see what's going on. In a way she is playing some type of psy op shit on me which is tiring. Again she texted me this past weekend saying "wyd" and I just said chilling u and she said same. I didn't say anything to continue the convo because well she told me when she would be free and if she really wants to see me she would come over.. I shouldn't have to keep "begging" or continuing a convo with her when she hasn't came over or prioritized me. Anyway, she didn't say anything after that responding that she was chillen. So the next day, me being slightly annoyed as to why she's fucking with me, I said good morning only to ask her how her weight loss program is going (I said it in a funnier way) teasing her a bit and qualifying her to try to sway her back. I think it kind of worked because while she answered defensively, when i asked her what she was up to afer that, she tried teasing me back about something else, and then i really pushed the teasing and challenging her to the point where I got a "ok." (she seemed annoyed) message and then I went back from that position a bit and she laughed and that was the end of the convo.

I think it was alright but it did come off a bit salty as she probably knows im a bit annoyed that she's fucking with me (which kind of tells her I'm bothered by her actions because she's my only option). I was growing tired a bit of her putting me on the back burner and fucking with me and I wanted to either push her more in my direction or get her away from me. She hasn't reached out since and I haven't reached out... and I don't think I can reach out for a while at least because that would seem weak. Can't go from trying to put myself above her to now reaching out again can I? She will be trying to probably make me chase...

Why am I writing this report/rant? Well annoyed as I had the upper hand after fucking her but promptly gave it back to her for no reason. I can't even say I'm most annoyed that I don't get to fuck her again, it's more I'm bothered by being "played" and because of my lack of abundance, being stupid enough to not see what games she is playing on me.

post continues here: www.forums.red/p/theredpill/324586/my_first_lay_after_a_break

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Nattynutty

Stating she won’t go back to mine before we’ve had the date.

I met this girl at a party a month ago. She took me back to hers and we fucked.

Two weeks later we went on a date to a cocktail bar were i acted as if sex was the last thing on my mind and she became super keen to go back to mine. So we did and we fucked.

I set up a date with her to go for a fancy dinner and then go to an arcade for this weekend but she called me to say she needs to know what time we’re finishing to so that she can go to her parents house right after and that she won’t be coming back to mine.

Do I: A. Cancel my reservations and tell her on the day theres a change of plans we’re going back to mine. B. Cancel the date and soft next C. Go through with it and see if she changes her mind whilst we’re there

Advice would be greatly appreciated

Option "A" removes any doubt in her mind that your goal is primarily sex, not a relationship. Option "B" allows you to maintain the mystery. Option "C" implies you're cool with not getting laid and willing to defer to her parents, which I doubt you are. Of the options you present, only two are viable.

You could go with option "D", cancel the reservation, and date so you're free to resume looking for more single girls. With the holidays being both next week and the time of year people break up, it shouldn't be too difficult replacing her or to begin stacking plates.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@qzone

Field Report: Blond at the Bar

I'm in a sticky situation at the moment; due to the passing of my mother more recently than not, I'm stuck in my home town with a population of a few tens of thousands to support my grandfather and stepfather in dealing with her affairs and support them. My grandfather is not in great health, and probably doesn't have a lot of years left, so I am here for the foreseeable future, though I'd rather be somewhere where abundance is possible. But we are at where we are at.

Fast forward to last Sunday: I'm at the gym and there's a cute curly haired blond doing one of those pussy maxing leg hip workout machines you will never see a straight man do. I strike up a conversation; ask her why this gym and not the other gyms in town that while slightly more expensive are certainly less shitty. We talk for five or ten minutes, I offer to buy her a drink or dinner this week... she agrees. Good job with a good income, good family it seems like. We trade numbers and I go back to lifting.

Later on in my set she is working out by me. I reopen. She says "I'm free pretty much any night of the week". We set the date for Monday, the next day, at eight. The date goes well enough. Again, she seems inexperienced. I avoided talking about dating or sexual history because, dating history is a waste of time for the first date, and I avoid sexual history because I had trouble creating sexual energy with her which I do not normally have trouble with. We have a whole lot in common, she is incredibly pretty, and we click though I struggle to make romantic or sexual energy with this girl. We make out a couple times. She is an abysmal kisser. The date lasts an hour and a half (I thought it was much longer, it felt so). As we are walking out to what I assume would be switch venues at 9:30. When I offer to switch venues she says "I have 25 minute drive and I work at eight in the morning". I don't know about you all but if I am very attracted to someone and having a good time, I will stay up past 10 PM. During the date, we had talked about both enjoying cooking. She said she loves soup, said she has never tried butternut squash soup. At the end of the date I said "let's get together this week and make that soup?" (Perhaps this was an overinvestment). She agrees, saying she is interested any day of the week that works for me.

Following the date, I wait till Wednesday at the end of the work day to text her at all since I committed heavy at the end of the date... ball in her court. I text her saying "hey, tomorrow at 5:30 work for you to make that soup? We'll have to run to the store first". She takes hours and hours to respond, and after some coordination ping pong run around, she says "I got out of a relationship a month or two and I'm not ready for anything serious yet, I'm sorry etc. etc.". I say "I understand completely, I'm cool with hanging out without a label as the goal. Let me know when you're free and we will keep it casual." A few texts since then but I've been leaving the ball in her court and keeping my texts short on the off chance she offers a time and place since this chick has probably NEXTed me and is being nice, and I don't want to waste time texting a bunch with someone just being nice. Also for context, I didn't mention anything about my mother.

We hold the L and soldier on with more day game. That one stings, I liked her quite a bit. We had a lot in common. Any critiques or thoughts?

An abundance mindset must first be planned and executed before it's ever realized. Regardless, it reads like the interest wasn't mutual. While disappointing, that's alright. Better to find out you and her weren't a good fit early on than after several years of marriage with children.

There's not enough info to say if the outcome of the date was due to you being mentally preoccupied in dealing with family matters, but not every guy can fake enthusiasm to follow through with everything. That your family situation concerns you enough to bring it up with us compels me to encourage you to take all the time you need, then take a rest after sorting your late mother's affairs. Consider using this time to study the book and look into finding a few hobbies to otherwise occupy your mind.

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion

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