@MobusBobus Don't fucking do it.

we just happen to work in the same building/space

You said "in my office".

You literally have women from another company in your office?

Look, don't do it. Even if you really are just sharing an office, it's going to be very awkward when it ends. And you always have to plan for when it ends.

Even if you don't value your job - the fact that you share an office and she has to regularly see you motivates her to run revenge on you after the relationship ends, in order to get rid of you, because of the awkwardness.

This is how women operate. When the relationship ends, if you are still around there is a 90% chance she will try to get rid of you or destroy you, because at that point you are an emotional threat to her.

She is more likely to make false claims against you if she has a reason or benefit from doing so.

@MobusBobus

Here are two approaches:

1. Next time you find one going out of her way to come around, say something like “Did you just check me out?” and smile. If she admits it or agrees in any way, then tell her “Buy me a drink for my birthday”. Her: “When’s your birthday?” You: “Take me out and I’ll tell you. Here’s my number.”

If she avoids it or says “No I wasn’t checking you out” then respond with. “Ok, maybe it’s just me then” and walk away. Wait for her to try to process that. If she at any time asks you “what did you mean by that?” Tell her “Take me out for a birthday drink and I’ll tell you.” See above for the rest.

1. Ask your target for advice. Next time you see her, tell her you need some advice. Ask her when she has some time. Go to the local lunch place or coffee and invite her. Then make up some bs about dating older women in your 20’s. Something like “I am not sure how old you are, so I intend no disrespect here, but you look like you know what you want in life. I’m interested in an older woman and i want to get close to her, like real close, like sexual addiction close. What’s my best first move”. Then take it from there.

Good luck. let me know how it goes.

AND, as @typo-MAGAshiv said Do NOT shit where you eat. Be very careful.

@brownpride1488

Valid reasons for LTR to decline sex?

Yesterday my LTR declined sex for the first time. We were at her place, she cooked dinner for me, was submissive and otherwise behaving well. We moved into the bedroom, started doing foreplay, but after I got her bra off she said she didn’t want to do it tonight. She said that her head and body ached, that she hadn’t showered and that she had to get up early. I didn’t react emotionally but got up and left. At the door she asked me if I was mad, but I told her no, kissed her good night, and told her to go to sleep and to get her chores done tomorrow morning because I’ll check.

Her period was coming up and she has some exams which she’s worried about, and just seems on edge lately. In fact, I did see her taking Advil due to premenstrual cramps in the days leading up to this. She’s been combative with her roommates, and she appears to be trying to hold it together for my sake when I’m around. She tests me sometimes but I shut that shit down and she goes back to behaving.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I also don’t want this to become a trend. I’ve read through other posts regarding this issue and users warn about “valid” denials of sex (due to period, etc) being a slippery slope leading to invalid denials and using sex for manipulation.

She’s out of her prime (26) and she knows that I have other options on standby. I believe my SMV is 1 or 2 points higher than hers, and the margin is increasing as time goes by.

She sent me a good morning text today, reiterating the period as the issue. I believe I should respond warmly (so avoid no contact), as she already has insecurity issues, but maybe give it a week before I see her again.

What would you suggest?

Edit: I have access to her phone and geolocation.

When one plate brakes it's best to not bother gluing it together in some attempt to fix it. Better to accept the loss, clean up the mess as best you can, throw the broken plate away, and get another.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@MidgetSpinner

How do you kill the little bitch that lives inside of you?

I thought I would have had this shit handled by now after countless relationships, but I still don't, and frankly it's embarrassing and I'm ashamed.

I'm referring to neediness. I never once begged this girl to get back with me at least, but it's this survival mode kind of haze I've been in ever since we had issues and broke up. I keep digging and digging the hole deeper trying to salvage whatever might be left of the relationship with one more message, and then another, and then another, and I can see myself doing this cringey shit after the fact, but in the moment I'm awash with emotion/anxiety and whatever else. I am not in my normal state of mind. I am constantly inbetween trying to fix things, and then trying to do damage control because I regret trying to fix things. I look fucking crazy.

The thing is, I know better than to behave like this but I don't know how to control the impulses and the urges to try and "fix" things, rather than just saying "fuck this bitch" and simply letting them go. Instead, I unwillingly opt to throw more and more of my dignity away until I don't recognise who I am in the mirror anymore.

It was like this in the last relationship too, but at least that one had a longer lifespan so I guess there was some leeway for how pathetic I behaved. This one there are no excuses for - I went into it strong, thinking I had my shit absolutely handled, and then the second things started to take a turn, I gradually lost my frame and then before you know it, it's all gone because I couldn't simply let her go.

Please try to help me make sense of this. Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? I don't want to have to spin plates just to have outcome indepence, you should be able to access that frame regardless. Surely there is a way. Whatever it is, please help. I never ever want to behave like this again. I am disgusted by my behaviour and I'm sure it's the source of all my relationship failures. Maybe it's an unresolved fear of abandonment. Fuck knows.

How do you build the strength and composure to be able to just walk away, even when it's eating at you? How do you do what's right and masculine in these situations?

Everything else in my life is handled, but for some reason regardless of being with over a hundred women, I still have this little bitch in me that eventually rears its head. It doesn't matter how long it takes, eventually it always does and it's usually when things begin to go south. I want to kill that.

Stop wasting your time wasting other peoples time in asking the same questions over and over again. Scrutinize the information provided and decide if its useful or not to achieve your goals. Develop a plan of engagement. Take action, put up obstacles to those who create distraction so you can maintain the focus needed to get things done.

@FrancoAP

Should I still focus 100% on my career?

Just wanted to comment; I am deep into my PGY-1 General Surgery residency. I work on average 90 hours per week; but sometimes I cross the 100 hour benchmark. I am somewhat tired, 30 years old.

I did manage to fuck a medical student that rotated in my service; only after she left my service obviously.

Now I am technically still a student; so my focus should be still to master my degree; no? I mean, it's kind of discouraging to think that after everything I have been through I must still focus on getting good evals, scoring decently on exams, gain proficiency.

I am this close > to risk developing oneitis, mostly because my lazy ass won't talk to different women; albeit it's hard to get to know more women, bc I spend SO much time at the hospital. Alas, finding time to keep my body in shape is hard as fuck. I mean; I am now doing strength training on my after-call...It sucks lifting weights on no sleep :(

tl;DR : I am a surgical resident, PGY-1, my focus should be still to master my craft ; no? I am technically still a student; so spending time hooking up should be still on the backgroung

@Redpillpusher

Is it Worth it

Hey y'all, here's what's going on.

A few days ago met this lady at a bar during a weekend festival. We exchanged numbers and, because she didn't seem interested through phone communication, I deleted hers only for her to hit me back, apologizing for the delay and letting me know she was actually an active participant in said festival, thus making sense to me why she was so interested in person yet sporadic via text.

We were supposed to meet 2 days ago but she rescheduled to yesterday only for me to state that time wasn't good. I called yesterday to follow up, expecting her to make up some BS, thus allowing me to terminate further communication. On the phone, however, instead of the initial date she suggests a new 1st date: the "No Kings" protest against ICE in Chicago this weekend.

We've never discussed political views (she's obviously far left while I'm moderate) so, I can conclude that her dating fellow far left liberals is important & this is her way of sniffing out the weaker wristed men she (thinks) she desires.

I played it cool and said "it's possible" to which she replied stating she'd send the details. This was in the afternoon and she didn't, nor did I remind her. I didn't because I know that if I attend I might either get into a debate (or altercation because these type lack common sense and control) with a protester or get drawn into a conversation with her at some point where my true colors will be revealed.

My question is this : if I decide to go and none of these events occur, from experience how long do you think this thing between us last? She grew up in a small, conservative town before moving to Chicago and is a small time actress and model (actual one, not Instagram) so it is safe to say she's so far left she's almost a foul ball. Have any of you moderates or conservatives ever had a relationship with these type past 2 months? Or is it not worth it in your opinion? I specifically ask regarding her because it's clear that she just isn't content with having her own views and me having mine. She even went as far as changing the date venue from her favorite Ramen spot to a protest in semi cold Chicago weather. I don't want to have a LTR with her and especially not kids, just a good time for as long as I can until my time is up. I have no problem deleting her # & moving on based on your advice, this would be my 2nd time deleting. I just don't have time dealing with openly mentally unwell people. Long gone is the time when they'd let you be with your own views, nowadays far left liberals are offended by the differing thoughts in others heads.

I can't say if it's worth it or not for you as that's a personal valuation, but you clearly prefer engaging with mentally unstable females. If they've demonstrated to be the easiest option for getting your penis wet, then I can't begrudge you that, and won't dissuade you of riding that dragon. However, I'd recommend you study the book, so you know when the party's over and bail before things get dangerous for you.