When you say "that's just shitty" remember that this is only going to be shitty when it ends. It will end, unless you are cursed to never enjoy good hot sex with a willing woman.

You have to do something shitty or experience something shitty being done to you to be free to find that there is a whole different world out there. Once you have known that world, you will never ever tolerate a situation like this again. You will know she is not right for you because she doesn't desire you. She just sees you at best as a relationship, at worst as a provider. She does not want you.

It reads like maybe she is moving into a room in your apartment, not even your own room??

I married my first lover. She was cold. I felt something was off but I really didn't know. Her coldness was just hell. It went far beyond just sex -where her favourite phrase was "hurry up". Eventually I realised I just had to initiate break up with her and face the divorce rape, no matter how much it hurt. After that I went with some whores, probably partly to cope with frustration but mostly I think to prepare me to not be afraid to have sex with another woman. That sex was all uninspiring. Then about 9 months after my break up I got with a hot girl friend who liked sex and my entire world view of what was possible in terms of sexual satisfaction just exploded into something better (and terrible oneitis that could only end badly). I recount this to say that I really do understand the fear of losing a first relationship but that also I can promise you there is so much better out there.

You will do what you will do. I have not yet heard of a guy who succeeded in making a lukewarm woman hot for him. Some woman are not very sexual, its just a fact. They won't really heat up for any man. There are whole family trees of women who have not orgasmed. Lack of pleasure can be to some extent a hereditary trait. If its only that then you are lucky. She might genuinely love and respect you.

However if you just don't get her wet but other guys could, then you need to run. Likely as not other guys will be getting her wet sooner or later and even if not, she will never respect or look up to you. To her, you are a loser who it is situationally beneficial to be with and even if she were to decide that the situation was the rest of her life, well situations can change and woman's minds can change in an instant. If you are a loser that is is situationally worth being with, you can bet she actually feels like she is lowering herself every time she gives herself to you. She probably wants to shower your sub standard loser semen out of her afterwards.

The only other possibility and it is a very small one, is that she has a mental block over sex because of upbringing, some neurodivergence that makes it hard linking up with others and sharing your boundaries or negative past experience. Naturally you will hope it is this. Trying to relax her thoroughly and making sex light hearted, fun, natural, gentle and loving is most likely to win through to unlocking such a girl but the possibilities are very very small that it is such a case. In most cases nature is very strong and allows women to push away all their mental problems when they want a man's seed. In fact many of us have observed that for a white hot fling, where the sex is mind destroyingly good, it tends to require a slightly mental woman who has just decided that you are the key that fits her lock.

Do what you will do but do not fear to enthusiastically embrace something shitty when it comes along. Your escape from cold cunt prison lies through the sewers.