@Aging-Chad I see, thanks for filling that in.

Perhaps there exists a different affinity you could find a niche in, or if not exercise some leadership and form one.

At one point growing up we got involved with a YMCA based camping group. Not only was this great for us kids; the Dads got a decent social group out of the whole thing. Also think sports including things like mountain biking and motorsports, where unlike Team sports which involve a huge commitment of practice and other support work, you're doing the prime activity much of the time spent.

You don't need to convert "all" the Dads and families in town, just 2 or 3 to start who aren't already prejudiced against you. This gives you a chance to reform your reputation over time as people who actually see you as you are mingle with the biased ones and departures from reality in your reputation end up getting corrective feedback applied in absentia.

I really do recommend camping in particular. So many great childhood memories, and it's a place where your Dad and Man skills can really shine.

@Typo-MAGAshiv yeah, so, I got a 3BR apartment in the same small town so I can have 50/50. She agreed because I am letting her continue to homeschool one of our children (out of 4) and so she gets to stay home and claim she can’t work. This also allows her to provide before and after school care for the children while I’m at work so she gets to see them virtually every day.

Money-wise, I’m still raped… kinda. I was initially ordered $4k month payments for support and alimony. I gave her the $40k equity in the house, I kept $20k equity in other assets plus $30k cash and we settled on $2k alimony and $400 child support. The alimony was a bit of a double edged sword: it is 15 years unmodifiable and our youngest kids are 8. So this translates to 5 extra years of her riding my coat tails but it terminates if she works for more than $35k a year, gets married, or cohabitates. I don’t see those things happening; however, the upside is the non-modifiable. If I work overtime, take a promotion, change jobs, get raises, work a second job, etc., the payments presumably stay the same.

It’s affordable.