imissedherbrightside
3mo ago Ask TRP
@lurkerhasarisen thanks for getting back to me. Things have been going well lately, but I've encountered a few more shit tests from her.
For instance, we were making out in my room and it was definitely about to escalate to sex. Then out of nowhere, she throws me the curveball question, "Can I ask a serious question?" I reply, "Sure, what's up?" And then she asks about why there are two water bottles on my shelf. I can't recall exactly how I responded, but I definitely failed the shit test. Like that's not a fucking serious question lmfao. Any tips on how to handle this sort of thing in the future?
There was another instance while we were showering together and chatting about something, and she jokingly called me an "emo boy" because of how I used to dress. I played along, saying something like, "Yeah, I feel so isolated and alone! Everyone else is down here," (gesturing with one hand) "and I'm up here," (raising the other hand high). That got a laugh and I passed that with flying colors.
Also, we just got a new fish and needed a measuring cup to help it adjust to the water. She kinda demanded I fetch it from the kitchen saying, "Go get the cup from the kitchen! Go on!" I replied with a playful, "Nah, you go for it, it's in the kitchen, your happy place," or something similar.
She eventually got it, but I'm not sure if I handled that test well. How do I know for sure? Even though I attempted to Disagree and Amplify in that situation, it didn't feel like a clear pass.
I generally understand how to handle some of these situations, but some are tricky. That's why I'm hoping to find some helpful resources.
Your insights would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and I'm 19, so our relationship dynamics might differ a bit. I've noticed her tests tend to be more coy, but still important to navigate none-the-less.
Read More4mo ago Ask TRP
What strategies are most effective for understanding, navigating, and positively handling 'shit tests' in relationships?
I struggle with these tests, given their diverse variations and the different ways women employ them. Recently, I've found myself failing these tests in my long-term relationship (LTR), and it seems the more I falter, the more frequent they become. How can one salvage a relationship if they continuously stumble in these situations?
While I've extensively searched Reddit and online for advice, the resources mostly address tests encountered with new acquaintances rather than within an established relationship (e.g. My girlfriend once gave me the "do you say that to all the girls" shit test, to which I already have multiple lines for, however it hasn't come up again). The challenges posed by my LTR's tests feel more complex, leaving me uncertain about how to effectively respond.
How can I become effective at dealing with shit tests from my LTR?
Read MoreI haven't completely swallowed TRP so I'm not sure how to proceed.
My LTR (We are basically together but there is no label on our relationship) is planning to go to a concert and I'm not able to go, she's said that she can't decide what to wear and the outfits are very revealing, she shows a lot of cleavage and the outfit highlights her ass and is kind of see through.
Obviously I am against this, but I'm not sure what the appropriate call is, I don't want to give her an ultimatum but I don't like the idea of her at a concert with those clothes on, it seems very attention seeking-ish to me, I am considering breaking it off completely.
Am I being too controlling or possessive?
If your gut's telling you that you are, then you are, and I seldom advise guys ignore their gut feeling. You've likely developed one-itis. You're too emotionally invested into the relationship and that's likely why you're uncomfortable about the concert situation. This chick's a party girl and while they're fun to have around, they're generally not seen as relationship material for obvious reasons.
While you might think that she's your LTR, she may feel that you're just a guy she dates, and that she's otherwise still a single gal free to do whatever. If a relationship is indeed one of your goals, why aren't you looking for women who're seeking the same from guys? If this chick you're dating doesn't see you two as being in an exclusive relationship, it reads to me that it allows you to date other women to find those who're looking for similar things.
To that end, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library.
Read More10mo ago Ask TRP
I haven't completely swallowed TRP so I'm not sure how to proceed.
My LTR (We are basically together but there is no label on our relationship) is planning to go to a concert and I'm not able to go, she's said that she can't decide what to wear and the outfits are very revealing, she shows a lot of cleavage and the outfit highlights her ass and is kind of see through.
Obviously I am against this, but I'm not sure what the appropriate call is, I don't want to give her an ultimatum but I don't like the idea of her at a concert with those clothes on, it seems very attention seeking-ish to me, I am considering breaking it off completely.
Am I being too controlling or possessive?