@gamepilled

How do I work on my confidence? I have a major problem with it.

I have a major confidence problem, because it comes from intense childhood trauma and is much bigger than the usual problem of being a nice guy who can snap out of it.

Growing up, I was a very shy and weird kid no one liked. It was worse than the usual shy kid, because mine is an actual major problem that comes from a different source.

I was bullied and I think normies loathed me. Now it's different, but the underlying major confidence issue remains. I am improving on it by virtue of recovering from the trauma as time goes on, but it's not enough. That's a really slow process.

People want to hang out with me now because I did an active effort on social skills, but I keep getting small cues, sometimes even comments, that make it clear that I come across as insecure. Such as someone acting like I'm below him on the pecking order, or someone saying that she noticed I'm more confident lately (aka she noticed I lack confidence in the first place).

By the way, I am a 32 year old virgin, never even tried to get a woman, no woman showed romantic interest in me either, and didn't even socialize for the vast majority of my life.

I also have a chin that's so comically recessed I look ridiculous. But just now I grew a beard and that has been a massive looks improvement (I shape it carefully too). It's actually really thick and basically a jaw extension so I feel like I have a new face. A friend asked why I used to shave, I said, "idk, I had the habit and didn't question it, that was stupid", but to be honest, I actually know, and the harsh truth is that it felt weird to see myself as being masculine in the mirror.

By the way, my social life revolves around dancing and that's where I will, from now on, get over fear of rejection and approach women.

Right now I can't dance because I broke a hand by working out (which I also picked up recently), which is affecting me emotionally, and that's why I'm reconsidering all this. I found out about the redpill just now. And by reading game I noticed that it all revolves around confidence, and how important confidence is for people. And that I have to do something about this. I'm sick of people's shit, I'm sick of being treated like I'm low on the pecking order or a wimp, and I feel that I have to take that more seriously and really do something about it.

Are there some behaviors I can practice, or something I can do to see a fast change in the way I come across? So people don't instantly think that I'm insecure? My opinion is that I could leverage my social skills I've been acquiring, which allow me to have an understanding of what behaviors make me come across as insecure, and just pay more attention and make myself curb that problem. And then by behaving differently it will reflect on my self perception.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Self-confidence usually grows as a result of pursuing and overcoming the various challenges of life. During which time, you come to understand what interests, drives, and motivates you. To that end, I suggest that you get yourself two sheets of paper and a pen.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, get to work. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, then start over. If you need help, ask. There's no shortage of #books we can recommend that may help you achieve your goal.

Best of luck to you.

@DanielCron

Girlfriend of 8 years wants to go on a 'girls holiday' with her friend, but I do not trust her friend

I have a solid relationship and have been with my girlfriend for 8 years and this week, she messaged me with the "I am thinking about booking a holiday with my friend" - there will just be two of them. At the time of the message, I was too busy to even think about it so I quickly messaged back once I read it saying "go for it, could be fun". After having some time to think about it and also think about the type person her friend is, I am slightly worried for my girlfriends welfare and I will get to that in a minute.

My girlfriend has never been on a girls holiday before, mainly because she has never had anyone to go on holiday with (she usually keeps herself to herself) and I have never needed to set any boundaries related to this at the beginning of our relationship because it's just not something we both did (I have never been on a lads holiday since we've been together, I did all that when I turned 18).

Her friend is a bit of a slut, she is very attractive, very confident and she basically knows all of this. Her friend is currently in a relationship and she has been with him for a few months but from what my girilfriend has told me, it doesn't seem to be going well for them and they most likely will be breaking up.

Now the cause for concern. The past 2 nights out my girlfriend has been on with her friend, her friend has misbehaved and basically left my girlfriend on her own because her friends boyfriend met them later on in the evening and they went home without her. This caused a fall out between them and resulted in my girlfriend being upset/crying over it - I had to drive to pick my girlfriend up to ensure she got home safe because her friend left my girl on her own in the city at 1am in the morning. She didn't do this once, but she did this twice - they haven't had a night out since the second time happened.

I voiced my concerns over the above situation with my girlfriend and she's adamant that she has discussed it privately with her friend and her friend was very apologetic, and it wouldn't happen again. She has reassured me that she 100% trusts her and that she's actually a good person/friend to my girl, I just don't fully know her and have only seen the bad side of things. I have always been a person that looks at actions over words so I will believe her when I see it.

After having that discussion, my girl mentioned that "if this is going to cause problems between us, then she just won't go". I don't want to control my girlfriends life so I basically told her that I will support her in whatever decision she makes, but until her friend proves herself to me that she is reliable and trustworthy, then I am going to be worrying. My girl said that she appreciates that I am looking out for her and she understands my concerns, and again said that if this will cause a problem between us, then she just won't go.

My girl also mentioned something questionable to me. She said that she has never been on a girls holiday before so she would like to experience one - I have been questioning the meaning behind this ever since she messaged it.

My other concern is that once my girl is around her friend and if her friend ends up becoming single, her friend will end up becoming wild and most likely will put my girlfriend in vulnerable situations where men will be involved with them. This holiday will be the ultimate test for our relationship, but if my girlfriend does actually do something, I will never know anyway and that's the scary part....? She will never have been in a situation like this before for her to know how she will behave/act, especially around a friend who may influence her.

Not really sure what to think of this at the moment so how would you handle a situation like this without controlling your partner?

With what you shared in your previous post, I'm wondering if your girlfriend has any other female friends around her age. Maybe this is an opportunity to encourage her to find some, which means going where they can be found sober and lucid. Maybe getting into music, painting, sculpture, sewing, or knitting classes will bring her into contact with other females whose acquaintance she can make.

The Socio-Sexual Hierarchy

The original definitions of the SSH profiles

ALPHA: The Alpha is the tall, good-looking guy who is the center of both male and female attention. The classic star of the football team who is dating the prettiest cheerleader. The successful business executive with the beautiful, stylish, blonde, size zero wife. All the women are attracted to him, while all the men want to be him, or at least be his friend. At a social gathering like a party, he's usually the loud, charismatic guy telling self-flattering stories to a group of top-tier women who are listening with interest. However, Alphas are only interested in women to the extent that they exist for the Alpha's gratification, physical and psychological, they are actually more concerned with their overall group status.

BRAVO: Bravos are the good-looking guys who aren't as uniformly attractive or socially dominant as the Alpha, but are nevertheless confident, attractive to women, and do well with them. At the party, they are the loud guy's friends who showed up with the alcohol and who are flirting with the tier-one women and cheerfully pairing up with the tier-two women. Bravos tend to genuinely like women and view them in a somewhat optimistic manner, but they don't have a lot of illusions about them either. Bravos tend to be happy, secure in themselves, and are up for anything their Alpha wants to do. When they marry, it is not infrequently to a woman who was one of the Alpha's former girlfriends.

DELTA: The normal guy. Deltas are the great majority of men. They can't attract the most attractive women, so they usually aim for the second-tier women with very limited success, and stubbornly resist paying attention to all of the third-tier women who are comfortably in their league. This is ironic, because Deltas would almost always be happier with their closest female equivalents. When a Delta does manage to land a second-tier woman, he is constantly afraid that she will lose interest in him and will, not infrequently, drive her into the very loss of interest he fears by his non-stop dancing of attendance upon her. In a social setting, the Deltas are the men clustered together in groups, each of them making an occasional foray towards various small gaggles of women before beating a hasty retreat when direct eye contact and engaged responses are not forthcoming. Deltas tend to put the female sex on pedestals and have overly optimistic expectations of them; if a man rhapsodizes about his better half or is an inveterate White Knight, he is almost certainly a Delta. Deltas like women, but find them mysterious, confusing, and are sometimes secretly a little afraid of them.

GAMMA: The introspective, the unusual, the unattractive, and all too often the bitter. Gammas are often intelligent, usually unsuccessful with women, and not uncommonly all but invisible to them, the Gamma alternates between placing women on pedestals and hating the entire sex. This mostly depends upon whether an attractive woman happened to notice his existence or not that day. Too introspective for their own good, Gammas are the men who obsess over individual women for extended periods of time and supply the ranks of stalkers, psycho-jealous ex-boyfriends, and the authors of excruciatingly romantic rhyming doggerel. In the unlikely event they are at the party, they are probably in the corner muttering darkly about the behavior of everyone else there... sometimes to themselves. Gammas tend to have have a worship/hate relationship with women, the current direction of which is directly tied to their present situation. However, they are sexual rejects, not social rejects.

OMEGA: The truly unfortunate. Omegas are the social losers who were never in the game. Sometimes creepy, sometimes damaged, often clueless, and always undesirable. They're not at the party. It would never have crossed anyone's mind to invite them in the first place. Omegas are either totally indifferent to women or hate them with a borderline homicidal fury.

SIGMA: The outsider who doesn't play the social game and manage to win at it anyhow. The Sigma is hated by Alphas because Sigmas are the only men who don't accept or at least acknowledge, however grudgingly, their social dominance. Everyone else is vaguely confused by them. In a social situation, the sigma is the man who stops in briefly to say hello to a few friends accompanied by a tier-one girl that no one has ever seen before. Sigmas like women, but tend to be contemptuous of them. They are usually considered to be strange, but cool. Gammas often like to think they are Sigmas, failing to understand that Sigmas are not social rejects, they are at the top of the social hierarchy despite their refusal to play by its rules.

LAMBDA: Those men who have quite literally no interest in conventional male-female sexual relations. They clearly have their own hierarchy of sorts, but I can't say that I know much about it other than it appears to somehow involve youth, free weights, and mustaches.

Now, it is important to keep in mind that it serves absolutely no purpose to identify yourself in some manner that you think is "better" or higher up the hierarchy. No one cares what you think you are and your opinion about your place in the social hierarchy is probably the opinion that matters least. There is no good or bad here, there is only what happens to be observable in social interaction. Consider: Alphas seemingly rule the roost and yet they live in a world of constant conflict and status testing. Sigmas usually acquired their outsider status the hard way; one seldom becomes immune to the social hierarchy by virtue of mass popularity in one's childhood. Bravos... okay, bravos actually have it pretty good. But the important thing to keep in mind is that you can't improve your chances of success in the social game if you begin by attempting to deceive yourself as to where you stand vis-a-vis everyone else around you.

For more information: sigmagame.substack.com/p/the-socio-sexual-hierarchy

#2024 #Voxday #SSH #SocioSexualHierarchy #Men #Males #Rank #Education #World #CultureWar #EconomicWar #PsychologicalWarfare #SpiritualWarfare #BiologicalWarfare #KineticWarfare #UnrestrictedWarfare

The Traumatic Foundation of Gender Dysphoria

We live in a culture that says you can become—and, in fact, are— whatever you think you are, so few people dare question the transgender person’s idea of reality.

Of course, it’s possible that nature may in some rare instances “cross-wire” a male by feminizing his brain before birth so he feels more like a woman. However, there is no way, at this time, to test that theory. In fact, psychoanalysts discovered the primary reason for transgenderism many years ago. But today’s political environment has buried that knowledge. We believe that for many—and probably most—men who feel trapped in an opposite-sex body, the origins of their conflict trace back to early childhood.

Therefore, no psychotherapist should simply accept at face value the man’s experience of himself as female, and recommend that he have mutilating surgery which will only make him into a crude caricature of a woman. Nature has previously settled the issue through his DNA: chemical castration and surgery will never make him truly female.

When we investigate the childhood of the man who believes he is a woman, we often see what attachment theorists call an “intense but insecure maternal attachment.” Mothers of gender-disturbed children usually report high levels of stress during the child’s earliest years. When the mother is alternately deeply involved in the boy’s life, and then unexpectedly disengaged, her erratic and unpredictable emotional engagement leaves the child feeling profoundly insecure.

Full article continues here: www.crisismagazine.com/2020/the-traumatic-foundation-of-gender-dysphoria

#2020 #CrisisMagazine #JosephNicolosi #Males #World #US #America #Sexuality #Research #SpiritualWarfare #PsychologicalWarfare #CultureWar #EconomicWar #BiologicalWarfare #KineticWarfare #UnrestrictedWarfare #Demoralization #IdeologicalSubversion #Relationships #FemaleHeaded #Household #Promiscuity #Predditors #Grooming #Homosexuality #SamesexAttracted #Sodomites #Noncery #Pedophiles #Pederasty #Pedophocracy #GenderDysphoria #Politics #Ideology #Marxism #Feminism #MentalIllness #MoralIllness