The term Frame gets thrown around a lot in manosphere and game – and to no one’s surprise – a lot of newbies miss the point of what Frame is and is not, especially in the era where every influencer and his pet monkey have his own hot take on how to hAVe fRaME.

From Rollo’s article Frame

Iron Rule of Tomassi #1:

Frame is an often subconscious, mutually acknowledged personal narrative under which [guidance] people will be influenced … are all influenced and biased by the psychological narrative ‘Framework’ under which we are most apt to accept as normalcy [sic].

Further, Rollo describes what Frame is NOT:

Frame is NOT power … the concept of Frame is who’s ‘reality’ in which you choose to operate in relation to a woman … you are either operating in your own Frame or you’re operating in hers. Also understand that the balance of Frame often shifts. Frame is fluid and will find its own level when will is applied to change it [sic].

Rollo’s essay gives a good overview of relationship Frame, so check it out if you’ve never seen it. This current article is not about relationship Frame per se, but rather the misapplication of ‘Frame’ that many newbies and influencers seem to propagate into manosphere spaces.

Now, as Rollo asserts, Frame is fluid and can change hands. I would argue that an appropriate way to describe the intensity of Frame is how solid one’s Frame is rather than how much Frame one has. This isn’t an argument against Rollo’s description of Frame fluidity, but rather an addition to the discussion in so far as how Frame could conceivably be measured.

The problem is that a lot of guys misunderstand what Frame is and what Frame is not – and rather than viewing Frame as a binary state (having it or not) – they view Frame as something that can be lost or gained as if Frame could be scored on a continuum. Look at enough personal advice question posts and you will see men say:

• “How badly did I lose Frame bro??”

• “How much Frame did I lose bro?”

• “Can I recover the Frame I lost bro?”

Now, you would be apt to notice that often these guys describe Frame as a sliding scale where Frame is some continuum and if they do XYZ they can “get some Frame back.” Many of these men go so far as to suggest they should "dread" her or ignore her for a few days for no reason whatsoever to “recover” their Frame, further demonstrating that they do not know what Frame is.

As mentioned already, you either have Frame or you do not. If you do happen to lose the hand of Frame of which both of you operate from, you can get it back. But it isn’t a sliding scale or an amount of Frame, it is a state of Frame control in which you either have or don’t.

A fallacious misunderstanding of Frame as a scoreboard in which every time you “hold Frame” you gain XP orbs of sorts brings us to a more pervasive problem: what men are willing to tolerate in the name of ‘Frame’ because they view Frame as a scoreboard instead of a state, and they misapply Frame as some form of numb stoicism.

A numb stoicism – mind you – that means that they have to tolerate unpleasant or unideal scenarios – and the more of these unpleasant situations they endure, the more ‘Frame’ they have. The more battles they win (usually blatant or subtle disrespect) and still gets an outcome from in the end, the more “Frame” they have demonstrated (supposedly).

In other words, you could call this Framemaxxing, and it is retarded:

• Putting up with chicks on dates that won’t shut their piehole about “hawt” men throughout the date

• Passing an incessant stream of excessive shit tests from the same woman no matter how well he passed the first ones and otherwise demonstrates value

• Dealing with a woman who constantly disrespects him but sleeps with him so long as he ‘holds Frame’ long enough every day

Because if you actually had the Frame control, the woman wouldn’t be doing these things to you in the first place (for the most part) – because if she were in your Frame (and solidly so) she would know that those behaviors were too unacceptable to engage in at all.

Whereas to Framemaxxers, Frame is merely not being bothered by the smell of shit after they dive around in the sewer and that they need to pretend it doesn’t stink as well - and the more times they sewer dive while holding their nose the more they prove they can 'Hold Frame.' Well, if they had Frame – actual Frame – they wouldn’t be swimming in the sewer in the first place, nor would they tolerate the stench of shit.

You either have Frame, or you do not. She is either in your Frame, or you are in hers. There isn’t an amount, there is ONLY how solid and how firm that Frame is, if you even have it at all. The more solidly that she is in your Frame, the less she will question anything and vice-a-versa. The more fluid that Frame is, the more it is subject to being tested and questioned.

So there is absolutely no good reason to demonstrate that you 'have Frame bro' in countless garbage situations just for faux clout.

Afterall, what person would charge straight into a boulder? They wouldn’t. It would hurt. Such a foolish decision would be unwise, because boulders are very hard and even trying to test the resolve of a boulder would make it abundantly clear that you cannot move it.

Water on the other hand is fluid – albeit with some tension and resistance – and you can wade - even charge - through it without injury. Water moves with any attempts to move into it lest it be cascading at the time. For the most part, if your Frame is fluid, it will be waded through by anyone who wishes to try.

When you realize this, and when you realize that Framemaxxing is retarded, you will stop putting yourself in undesirable and unpleasant situations because why would someone subject themselves to those things if they had Frame? They wouldn’t.

If you understand this, you will start becoming more preoccupied with having a solid Frame and having Frame at all in the first place instead of maxxing it out in one shitty situation after another while you get disrespected – like a retard.

You won’t freak out about every slight second you “lose Frame” because you will understand that – or at least you should have – cultivated a solid Frame to begin with and have an incentive to keep it that way even if it breaks or bends here and there.

You are also just not going to have Frame in every situation of your life, but you can have the best Frame you can have for the hands your are dealt.

You’re allowed to not have 100% continuous moments of Frame, you are a human being, not a literal emotionless boulder on a cliffside. You can mess up a little bit and not freak out about it and catch yourself for next time if you have a solid Frame instead of 'maxxed out' Frame – which is a delusion.

There isn’t an amount [of Frame], there is ONLY how solid and how firm that Frame is, if you even have it at all.

And realizing this will incentivize you to have and keep a solid Frame. You will surround yourself with people and situations that are good for your mental health and soul as a man, so that your Frame isn’t built on a pile of maxxed out and misapplied faux 'stoicism' and holding your nose as you sewer dive for ‘Frame’ points.

You are either operating in your own Frame or you’re operating in hers. So, have Frame in the first place and make it solid as can be.

~Vermillion