I am wondering how much he played with her emotions versus how much she didn't land him and got upset?

We don't know as this is all very second hand but she was very serious only interested in marriage and they did not have sex it would appear. What is a very serious and respectful man to do in this situation -spend time with her and see how things develop. He didn't rush in and introduce her to people because he wasn't yet sure. He didn't see things developing the way he wanted, so he dropped her. This is not bad behaviour it was an all or nothing offer on her side and on reflection,, he chose nothing.

While it might be fair to say he could have been leading her on if he was having plenty of sex with her and keeping options open by refusing to go non exclusive, in this case he was not getting anything from her but the work of staying in touch and setting up dates and driving to see her and such. This is not something you will do for someone as fun or as charity. He was still interested in her as a marriage prospect until he wasn't.

The thing to do would have been to talk about exclusivity and when it comes in in their specific case of not having sex and talking about marriage only. If no promises were made, it was just a high stakes situation, she risks a year of her youth hoping to land a rich man (not idea if she was of a similar background herself or how compatible his richness made her). He risked losing so much if he married the wrong one. Likely as not the right answer was reached. Play high stakes, you can be hurt.

Responding to DMs: Dealing with "Immaturity"

Oh boy, there's a lot to unpack here, gentlemen (and ladies in the chat), so let's GOOOOOO!

As mature women, we try our best to connect with men that may seem confident,

In other words, she tried to lock down Rich Chad

But they seem to be consumed by this notion that there are plenty of fish in the sea

This is correct. A Rich Chad does have millions of options. Because he's rich, and because he's Chad.

For example, I spoke to this man for a year

Of course she did. Rich Chad always gets the benefit of the doubt for as long as it takes. Because he's rich, and because he's Chad.

Blah blah blah Rich Chad wouldn't commit

That's a failure on her part. She was aiming for Rich Chad who is way out of her league, thinking she's a 10 when she's at best a 6 or 7. She doesn't realize her "value" is in the eye of the beholder, not what she claims her value to be.

When I questioned his motives he said, we are not exclusive yet

Again, another failure on her part. This was her sign that she needs to step up her game and become worthy of being exclusive with Rich Chad. Instead, she sat around waiting for it to happen, thinking he was the only one who had to put in the effort to keep the relationship from stagnating.

When I questioned him again he said I'm immature and blocked me

A few more months go by without her putting in any effort. She failed the Rich Chad Test. Notice it was he who dumped her. She was more than willing to keep the charade going, but she kept pissing and moaning about commitment instead of enjoying the time together, and he'd finally had enough.

Keep in mind, this is a man in his 30's

Here comes the shaming language. His age has nothing to do with her actions. Instead of womaning up like a mature adult, she acted like a child and got dumped. Rich Chad isn't interested in dating children.

Just because men are successful doesn't give them the right to play around with our emotions

Rich Chad vetted her for a whole year. I'm surprised it took that long for her to show her true colors. Now, she wants to frame it as "emotional abuse" and make him out to be the bad guy.

This is just another lesson for men to vet their women properly, because women will eventually out themselves. It may be 6 months. It may be a year. It may be 5 years. Women can't hold out the facade forever.

Now, on the therapist side,

I think that this is straight up manipulation

Of course, it's Rich Chad's fault. She isn't pointing out that her client tried to punch way above her league, and that he gave her the benefit of the doubt for an entire year, and that she failed to live up to Rich Chad's standards.

Men like this are keeping you around as an option in case they don't find something better, or because it strokes their ego in some way

The shaming language continues. Rich Chad can always find better. She is being kept around because she has potential, because he thinks she's worth a bit of his time, but it's up to her to prove she's worth it. It's not an ego thing. Rich Chad doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks. He's merely weighing the risk vs. reward and how much return on his investment he's getting.

I think it's more valuable to use this as an example of how characters like these are given so much leeway and given such an absurd amount of time and attention

OOPS! She said the quiet part out loud. However, it's not her that's the one that's doing it, and she steers clear of saying directly it's her client that's doing it, but in general it's other women that's doing it. It's all their fault, not hers.

Now, it's obvious that these people are bringing enough to the table that it garners interest. In this case, this man is successful

Women are always interested in Rich Chad. Not because he is interesting, has a great personality, or is generally a good guy, but because what he brings to the table is what they exclusively benefit from. Because he is Rich, and because he is Chad.

However, it shouldn't take too long to clock the type of person this is from their actions, and as soon as you're able to tell what they are, it's time to drop them

Solid advice for both women and men, but women with ($.$) in their eyes throw away all reason and do whatever they can to try and lock Rich Chad down, because they know what comes with Rich Chad is money, status, and bragging rights to other women.

Blah blah blah more man shaming on Rich Chad

The thing is, she didn't waste her time. She got all the benefits of getting time, attention, and resources from Rich Chad while she was in his presence. What she did waste was her opportunity to prove she was worth even more. Instead, she became complacent and acted like she had already sealed the deal when she was far from it.

And she said, by the way, I believe he's in your pool of applicants.

She couldn't land Rich Chad, so she wants no other woman to be able to get a shot with him. Because Rich Chad's money and resources should have belonged to her, Ms. Matchmaker should kick Rich Chad out. She has his name and number, so she thinks that there still might be a chance she can get her claws dug into Rich Chad outside of the matchmaker's purview, but that won't happen as long as he's still up for grabs.

I'm not going to tell you his name because I'm not out to get him. Blah blah blah I'm an expert at Rich Chadism yadda yadda yadda

However, she's not going kick Rich Chad out of her applicant pool because Rich Chad is driving her business. She can afford to lose the low-cost subscription that the women bring to the table, but what Rich Chad brings to the table is time, attention, and resources for her.

So, yeah, while not all of Rich Chad's resources are hers, she is at least successfully getting a slice of Rich Chad Pie, and when she has many Rich Chad Pie slices, eventually, they do add up to a whole Rich Chad Pie, without having to have the actual Rich Chad.

Notice she doesn't have a ring on her finger. It's obvious she can't land a Rich Chad herself, otherwise she wouldn't even be in the matchmaking business. She'd be shopping and traveling. Unfortunately for her, this is the best she can get, influencing women into buying her services by having Rich Chad applicants to flaunt in their faces.

She's not matchmaking for women. She's selling them a dream. Rich Chad isn't the manipulator. She is.

Black and white is rare in life and never found in women or men. You add together a basket of facts -pluses and minuses and decide if she is worth the commitment of a LTR. There are actually very few deal breakers -being a professional whore is one, being a drug addict, being a thief form family are others but a hook up is a big minus but not a deal breaker.

Remember almost all woman are vulnerable to seduction by the right man at the right time. Its why in the past girls were chaperoned. If boys and girls are left together with no social consequence, girls will be seduced even sensible ones, some by scoundrels. In today's society there is no social consequence, so expect desire to be given in to in suitable conditions. This is why its best to get them fairly early before they make too many mistakes or develop too many bad ways of looking at men. You are young and this is a lower risk. You may risk losing a good relationship by excluding her on that alone.

It might help to try looking at this from another direction. So you meet a girl with no hook ups and a body count of zero to 2. First question to ask is "Why so little sex?" Is she unattractive? Ok she is not, then is she one of those girls who don't like the idea of touching wieners, who don't want cum inside them, who think kissing is a bit gross? Do you want one of those girls in your bed every night? Ok She is attractive and has a healthy desire level, so is she a religious freak (not a church goer who wants to be seen as virtuous or a believer who sins sometimes but a real believer with the self discipline to keep in line? Do you think this would be a good match for you and your personal ethics? OK she is not and likes sex and is not excessively religious or obsessive about chastity over enjoyment of life, so is she very sheltered and has had no opportunity? If so, you might just have hit the jackpot but do check that your background, ethics and ideas of the importance of family fits well with hers because as she becomes less sheltered, she will see these things matter and do check she is not mad or an evil bitch who drives men away. If she is not very sheltered and she is hot and loves sex and is not a god freak or a bitch, then maybe she is just a lair? Do you want a lair in your bed, someone who lies about who they have done it with when you know she will meet other men more attractive than you? Ok she is in fact a virtual unicorn, she is hot, loves sex, not religious, not sheltered and not a bitch, not a liar, she is just focused and wants one man for life. So what is she doing with you with your lifestyle and history?

These days chastity is not rewarded by society so there will need to be a darn good reason for it. You can screen for promiscuity but the absence of perfect chastity is normal in the sort of woman who makes a good mate unless you meet her when you are both starting out in life.

This is a tricky one. One does not know here who needs to do the learning as we cannot see how the mother dresses or acts. I can remember at 14 being told my mother was "hot" and a school mate "would give her one". I didn't like the idea. My mother was always dressed conservatively and so I had no problem with her but I didn't like the idea. I had to get used to it, that my mother was attractive and some males would look at her in the same way that I looked at other women. One or two might voice thoughts that were best kept private. That's life.

We don't know how the mother is dressing. She is entitled to a life and to being seen as attractive. Equally I would not go around trying to entice any of my daughters' friends into thinking they would like me to "give them one". If she is not acting quite her age or in a way that he sees as unwise or if he knows she is attracting trashy sorts of men to think trashy sorts of things, it is reasonable for him to point it out (as its good advice to someone he loves) but equally if she has a figure that the clothing makes look good and men are noticing, well maybe he has to get used to it. Its her character and she is an adult. He can choose a more modest lady for himself if he likes.

If we take the red pill, we are wanting to see reality not what we want to see. Reality is that almost every woman born finds being found attractive affirming Even if she is happily married and the mother of many, she still finds it affirming. Many women want that validation and as we know beauty is a passing thing the loss off which is always to be regretted. To tell them not to want that affirmation is not realistic or necessarily kind. However if you know that how they are dressing makes them considered "trashy" in their culture (and what is trashy really does depend on the culture, even the sub culture) or "desperate for attention" then it is good advice to pass on as these are things very few women want to be thought and any young man who loves his mother would not want her to be thought of in this way.