This is gonna be long. It’s not ChatGPT generated, that you can probably tell because of my English. I’m not a native speaker and I’m typing this with chaos in my head.

I am 25 years old. Last year February, I ended a toxic relationship of 5 years where she never let me be physical with her. Few months before the breakup, due to my repressed sexual feelings, i cheated on her with a women i met online. The guilt after that was insane and I knew coming out of the relationship is my only way of peace. It was hard and finally the breakup happened. It only took me few days to get over that breakup.

That was my first relationship and I was an incel that time. After getting over it, i only had one thing in mind. Build the self esteem i never had (due to abusive childhood). Fyi, I workout and I have an athletic body with abs, but I understood the hard way that abs are not enough for self esteem. A friend recommended me the book Models by Mark Manson. Then i discovered redpill. With the new information i have, my world was changing. I started making approaches in gym, workplace, cafes etc. And within a very short time, i started to get success. I went on dates with few women, rejected some because I thought they don’t align with me (the old me wouldn’t have done that) and had s*x with few. Then one day, at the cafe at my workplace, this chick was in front of me and I approached her. was able to get her instagram and i texted her at night and my text game also succeeded. I landed another date.

Here is where my life took a turn. This chick was the hottest among all the women i have been with after the breakup. This made me forget everything i have learned and i fell for her hotness. But this was the perfect trauma bonding i needed. Just after the first date (no we didn’t have sx), she started showing me mixed signals. She would ask for meeting and when the time comes she wouldn’t even bother texting. This pissed me off and i would call her back. Then she’ll be like she’s busy or with her friends. Few weeks of flakes but the needy me still stayed. We went out 2 or 3 times more. Then after getting pissed off constantly. I confronted her telling that I value integrity and she doesn’t have it and also told that i am cutting her off. Then she played her mental health game on me and i fell for that too. She explicitly said that she wants this to work. Listening to this, I stayed again. Her actions didn’t change. I can’t recall a single day for the next few weeks where she had shown integrity. I was so devastated thinking my game was very bad that i couldn’t get her (yeah we never had sx).

We started to not talk after few days (ghosted basically). And a month later, she called me telling that she’s done with the work and leaving (we met for the first time when she came for an internship in a company in the same building where my company is located). So we met and bid farewell. She told me that it’s her birthday next month and she would surely invite me because she’d coming to the city I am in for celebrating it. The needy me fell for this again. She’d message here and there like 2, 3 times. I was in this emotional roller coaster of being chosen and not chosen like a lot. This was literally killing me.

On her birthday, nothing happened. Yeah she came to my city. I got to know that because of her instagram story. I tried to accept the reality and move on. But i couldn’t. A month later, i messaged her again. She said she’d call me back and never did. Few more months later, the needy me messaged her again. She didn’t show any interest and said she’s finishing graduation in few months and got a job in some other place. This time i accepted the reality for real. I never messaged her again. I unfollowed and blocked her.

Then i took a break from meeting new women because this whole incident hit me with existential crisis. I didn’t make any moves for few months. Then one day randomly at the gym, i met this girl and i got a date. It was not planned at all. I mean i didn’t want to chase women. But this happened. Obviously she was not as hot as the other girl. But still things were too good to be true after the previous incident. We started taking things seriously. The s*x was so good. But few months later, she started to show her anxious attachment patterns to me. I felt like this is another trauma bonding. Now it’s been a year since I met my girlfriend and 1.5 years since I met the other girl who shattered my soul.

The story doesn’t end here. I accepted my life - my girlfriend is not the perfect girl i needed but i made peace with it. Here and there the other girl’s thought were bothering me.

One random day, i was going through my blocklist and found her there. I was like “okay I’m never gonna see her again, her chapter is over so let’s unblock”, and I did). The upcoming month (two months ago today), i got a call on an afternoon when i was with my homie to go for lunch. The call was from instagram and it was this girl again. I was like fck, after 1.5 years, what does she want from me. I even thought she may have placed the call by accident. So i didn’t pick the call. The call hung up and she called again. I picked the call and she asked me if I still work here. I said yes and she said that she is in the building. I was like fck me. I took few steps back and saw her with some dude (not dating for sure, he seemed like an incel). I came to her and to my surprise, she hugged me. I was having trouble understanding and comprehending what’s going on. Few of my coworkers were near and they all saw this. It was an ego booster for sure. Anyway, I asked her what happened to her other job plan. She said she joined there and couldn’t handle the work pressure and toxicity’s not even for a week. She’s has this classic victim mindset. It’s like she vs the universe. And she said she got a job in other company that’s not that near me but still in the same city. I knew this is where i have the choice to go back to my pattern or ignore her. I didn’t say anything much and told her that I’ll see her later (my body was saying no, but my mind was saying this is my second chance - keep in mind that i am dating another girl now).

I didn’t text her or anything. Just a day later, she texted me and suddenly started showing interest and even commented on my posts in instagram). I started to get confused again. So i chatted with her. But this time, i consciously didn’t try to win her over. Two days of chatting where it would take her an average of 4 hours to reply back to a single text I sent, i knew she’s not mine to fix and i stopped talking. I didn’t say anything about this incident to my girlfriend. Now you guys will think the story ends here, NOOOO.

Even though I stopped talking to her, the internal conflict in me was disturbing me. One part of me was saying “I lost the second chance too”, the other part was saying “I don’t want this person’s energy in my life”. So last week, after a tiring day at work. Her thoughts started overpowering and I found myself suffering again. You wouldn’t believe what happened next. The next hour, this btch texts me again. I was like “what the hell is wrong with my life, am I like manifesting her back to my life over and over again when I’m asleep???”. I didn’t reply anything that night. Next day, i asked why she messaged. What she said next made me feel like getting fcked in the ass so hard that I wouldn’t walk for few days.

So basically she got her way into the company I’m working now. Bro she got a job in my company. F*ck. What is she upto. This happened last Wednesday and her joining date was Monday (today). I instantly got depressed hearing this. I knew she coming to my firm would make me regret working here every single day. I took the rest of the day off and talked to a friend about. It didn’t help. I did long meditation sessions and shadow work preparing for the disaster.

I made a promise to myself that no matter what happens I wont perform and self abandon by acting superior around her if i see her. So today happened and she came to my office. I saw her and shook hands and told her “see you later”. Saw her few more times again and just like i thought. Her pretty girl game was working. The incels i knew in my company who have zero game were trying to put her on pedestal. She was really enjoying the attention. As i already expected, i found myself shaking my hands and lips. Even though my life wasn’t that good, I had this confident guy persona in my office. But today, anyone who saw me could sense that i was feeling not at good about myself. So here I’m, feeling helpless and don’t know what to do next ranting my situations here. If you made it this far, thank you. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Admins, I have never posted before and I don’t know if I have broke any rules in this sub. But I need help, please don’t remove my post.

Had one of my plates smash dramatically last night.

Was out for some drinks with some friends, walking down the street I bump into plate. We exchange some pleasantries, she says let's hook up later. Cool.

She shows up to the bar a few hours later with her friend. She's drunk, and being somewhat loud and annoying. I can see my friends are starting to get a little irritated. I take over the conversation and reign her in.

Around midnight my friends decide to head home. Me, plate and plate's friend head to another bar. We have a few more drinks. Plate's friend is laying it on, flirting etc. Whenever plate goes to the toilet, her friends starts laying it on even thicker. Ironic given she has a boyfriend. It's fun but I don't engage too much.

We head off. Me and plate go back to my place. We listen to some music and then get down to business.

Little while after, plate starts sulking. "What's up?". "Nothing". - You all know exactly what I'm talking about.

I humour her for a little while but then I start to get irritated and withdraw. Cba to deal with this shit. Eventually she opens up that apparently I hadn't given her enough "affection" during the course of the evening.

My attempts to diffuse the situation fail and this starts to morph into a "the talk" situation without her having the confidence to outright say it.

After a few minutes of sitting in complete silence, with her continuing to sulk, I say "Do you want to go home?".

Usually this gets them to back down. But in this case, she jumps up. Puts on her clothes and runs out the door.

I then get a barrage of text messages cussing me out. How terrible I am. How I'm a piece of shit etc. I leave them on read.

Each text I ignore, she gets more and more angry, cussing me out further.

Eventually, she realises I'm not going to bite and stops texting me.

Plate smashed.

Post to The Hub...Had a girl this week try and pull the ol' frame switcheroo on me.

Had a date last week, which went pretty damn well. For whatever reason she decided to drive to drinks on a Friday night. So she couldn't drink much and had to drive home (almost certainly a decision she made on purpose). Nonetheless it went well, things got hot and heavy, and we ended up doing some sexual shit in her car. She says that next time the logistics will be there. Great.

This week I arranged another date. Gave her the date, logistics and plausible deniability on a silver platter. Drinks, walking distance of my place. She agrees.

Day of the date, she changes her mind. She's feeling "unwell" and doesn't want to do drinks but she 's up for doing something else (uh huh...). Instead, she wants to do a platonic activity, on the opposite side of the city, and she wants to pick me up and drive there.

So essentially little to no opportunity to escalate, and she is completely in charge of all logistics.

I said "No worries" we can do something when she's feeling better. I then arranged to see another plate instead.

Over the next few hours she goes on to double, triple, quadruple and quintuple text. All of which I don't even open.

Each message getting ever more desperate to get me to buckle to her frame.

But ultimately, she stops shy of accepting my frame.

Oh well, onto the burn pile she goes.