Hello.

I thought i'd share my red pill journey, and horrible reversion into blue pill "Oneitis".

I was red-pilling for 7 years after discovering Heartiste, went through 600 women, and then got tired of casual sex. I got a similar burnout to Roosh.

At the point of getting burn-out, I decided it would be a better idea to get a steady girlfriend and recuperate.

A month after getting burn-out I met a girl and slowly developed oneitis for her. This was 2 years ago.

When I met her initially I liked her, but not too much. One thing that immediately stood out to me was that I was able to have long conversations with her and not get bored. I recognised she was hot and intelligent and a great catch, but my heart of stone refused to let her in. She worshipped me and was a love slave. The balance of power was perfect...but then I started getting itchy for sex with something new. About 5 months into the relationship she caught me cheating (broke into my phone - i had a lazy password). She didn't leave me and I was able to get things back on track quite quickly, however she was now hyper-vigilant,. Broken trust has an incredibly corrosive effect. I gradually started to become a bit bitter towards her.

6 months later she caught me cheating again, this time finding videos of me pounding a girl on our bed (I sometimes like to film my sexual encounters). I was very careless about hiding my videos and I probably wanted her to find them. I probably subconsciously wanted to sabotage the relationship because I felt that I was losing control and this girl was getting in too deep. She broke up with me a few months after discovering these videos, but I was able to re-attract her and get her back into the relationship within a month. This caused me to think "this girl will never leave me" and thus ensued a deep oneitis, which manifested in just assuming she'd always be there no matter what.

After the cheating, her investment in me slowly began to drop. Almost imperceptibly at first. Gradually I began to realise that she was distancing - increasingly seeing her friends etc. I decided to make a power play and break up with her, but I fucked it up because I didn't really want the break-up. Basically, I told her I wanted to end the relationship and expected her to fight for me. She didn't. She decided to leave me that day and I lost my shit at her. Grabbed her neck and commanded her to "fix the relationship." I totally lost composure (I'd be smoking a tonne of weed for months straight - probably as a way to subconsciously cope with the deterioration of the relationship). At this point I was actually a bit worried she would go to the police because I'd been physically violent with her and strangled her. However, after I grabbed her neck and shouted at her for a while she left in tears. I didn't think I'd lost her at this point and my confidence was high.

After she left me, she actually came back that same day in tears and confusion. I kissed her forehead, told her everything would be okay, and sent her on her way. She called me the following night and I told her I needed space (I honestly wanted to stop smoking weed and clear my head). She called me again the following night and I ignored her. She didn't call again for a week and I began to get a dreaded feeling.

After a week of silence, I tried to get in contact with her and discovered I was blocked everywhere.

Personally, it's been a shattering experience for me. I feel it is well deserved because I played the game and lost. But in losing her, I began to form the opinion that this girl is remarkably unique and I'll never find another one as good as her (oneitis). Also, I've plowed through many women in my life and barely looked back once. It's almost unbelievable to me that I appear to have completely reverted to blue pill and a deep depression over missing this girl. I didn't think I was capable of these feelings and it's been the roughest period of my life.

It's been nearly 3 months now and I haven't heard a word from her. I've banged 4 women in this time and during each experience I wasn't able to cum.

I've noticed that my red pill sex addiction had isolated me over the years. I forwent many friendships so I could focus on getting laid. But now, in my moment of extreme weakness, I'm trying to figure out how to make some male friends who are into fitness, self-improvement and intellectual chats.

I hope this story resonates with someone here who'd be willing to give me any tips on how to get over a break-up and connect with new friends (all my old friends are massive drug takers and drinkers and I've found that I just can't be around that anymore).

Thanks for reading.

@redpillschool

I agree that we shouldn't put black people at a disadvantage. But it's naive to say that they're not perpetuating some of their own problems. For instance- people argue that black crime is a result of poverty, yet they fail to establish what the excuse is for white people in poverty - the numbers don't add up.

Touching this topic quickly before I forget, whenever viable leaders spring up either the Government tampers with attempts at progress or the less educated give way to jealousy and sabatoge. Aiming to become leaders for selfish reasons while being completely unfit for driving progress.

On crime I don't know. I have no involvement with criminals but I suspect education is a massive factor. Imagine this for a moment, you're a 21 year old male in comtemporary society who can pass for a 27 year old because genetics.

You struggle to make use of the internet for information, and you can barely fill out a job application because you're literacy level is only "good" enough to read a Dr.Seuss book from cover to cover let alone something like a Bible.

Your family tried to take you to church to fill you with "The Holy Spirit" but you get turned off at a young age because 3/5ths of the time the preacher rambles about nothing, never encouraging members to open let alone read their Bibles, and the other 2/5ths he solicits money in tithes saying how "paying him is paying God" and "disobedience to his church is the Devil's work". Assuming he's not accused of fondling kids to top it off.

Now, what are you going to do for yourself? You have no moral framework of right and wrong from an allegorical let alone philosophical standpoint. You have a 7 year old reading comprehension as a 21 year old man who looks nears 30, so college realistically isn't happening and the only thing you regularly count are dollar bills and the television channels from time to time.

How're you going to pass a licence exam to drive? How are you going to express your frustration when inevitably find that your available opportunities are nearly non-existent in those conditions? How're you going to survive?

The point, there's a strong correlation between criminality and illiteracy. An estimated 75% of prison inmates are illiterate 19% are completely illiterate according to this and other sources sprawled across the internet.

Again, how would you survive under these conditons? Would a wage cage trap seem appealing if "quick" money could be acquired? Would 3 meals (albeit trash) , a jumpsuit, and roof over your head in a pen seem bad if you lacked the faculties to take care of yourself otherwise? Would you be able to distinguish between good living conditions and a waking hell with such a limited frame of reference?