had a medical issue that made sex painful for her for a long time

My wife of many years had the same, AS seriois as blacking out during periods.

third time she had called the cops

You have screws. 3rd time.. If she's not stupid she knows she was building a case.while you did nothing. Had that happening, but I had video and nothing happened.

wrote me love letters, cuddly, etc.

Good memories. Shame it's finished and you cant go back in time. Mine was also sweet for 95% of time together. And then bam I have discovered she was probing lawyers and poaching people I had ties with.

she worried that our joint account was running too low

She is preparing, fishing for info

She grew

She didn't grew concerned, she's started to realise she doesn't know stuff she'll need during a divorce

withdrew a few thousand dollars

Operations money

be able to love you again after all that has happened,

Gaslighting, buying time, I don't think she sees you are offering her anything anymore. She is calling the shots, she cut your dick off by having an evidence on you, kids, rights to your assets. What can you give her (think like her)? The only reason she might want to stay (since you will always have a police record) is if you want pay her all expenses, be gone out of her life as obstacle, she'll fuck other guys when you take care of kids and if you can take all the disrespect that will follow for being a cuck.

starting from scratch and dating

Buying time and offering you subservient role in a meantime

powerless, hopeless, and humiliated.

Because you are, and more will come if you won't stop emoting.

If you can do hide assets like LoneRanger said (I assume she could see loads of finances and IF... she planned to fuck you over she has printed ALL THE transactions all the years back to all the investments accounts and so on).

Anyway look for an external reason for changes if you are planning to play hide and seek (eg. changing password on a mobile she knows is a no, buy a new mobile and set it up there anew so it looks like it was forced by a 3rd party)

Its good you are sharing all shit. It helps to understand.

Now off to the lawyer.

Hi, I (38M) lost my programming job (due to a manic period because I'm bipolar) and now I'm drowning in $100 000 in debts (due to former gambling addict). I have no other choice than to apply for debt settlement with The Swedish Enforcement Authority ("Kronofogden") and will have to live on bare minimum living wage for the next 5 years (accommodation paid and $620 for living expenses). My expenses will rougly be:

Housing (rent + electricity + internet): $1140

Food & groceries: $200

Transport (subway card): $100

Fitness & health (Gym membership): $30

Mobile & subscriptions: $40

Miscellaneous / entertainment: ~$250

Total: $1760

I'm a programmer so I earn quite well (~$4000 a month) but The Swedish Enforcement Authority will take anything above $1760 from my salary and put it into debt payments. My hobbies are krav maga, social dancing (WCS), gym and I'm learning to make music with Ableton (with hopes of becoming a music producer one day). My dating life right now is pretty bad, though I can get dates from Tinder (I have quite good facial looks - I'm probably a 6.5 - 7). I'm a bit overweight (178 cm/5'10, 92kg/202lbs, BMI 29) so if I got in shape I'd probably get more dates. I've just started learning daygaming (with the help of Nick Krauser's book) but no luck there yet.

As you can see I will only have ~$250 a month for "fun activities". Is this enough for dating? What should be my focus these upcoming 5 years? Just getting hookups through Tinder/daygame because a relationship is more costly? Or find a frugal girlfriend who is happy with just Netflix dates? I want children one day, but not until my debts are paid, so not until I'm probably at least 43. What are your thoughts?

This sounds like a blessing in disguise because you have been living very expensively beyond your means and this is an opportunity to explore another side to life. This sounds like my fun budget for a couple of months, not that I don't have some savings but I live frugally from a low income and aside from getting moaned at by her indoors I am perfectly happy with it.

You are going to be able to vet out the gold diggers anyway.

Seek out women who are interested in stuff that is pretty much free -art, literature, making music, the outdoors, nature, getting fit, that sort of stuff. Its just an opportunity to do things differently. Probably will be less easy sluts available, less alcohol to make sluts easier but it could be very interesting looking at life a bit slower. Just doing the hobbies will put you in contact with the women.

I gather your country is one of the worst for cash work. You still might get some cash work? I gather you have to explain why you are withdrawing cash from a bank in Sweden if you want to pay someone? A client of mine told me that his builder told him to tell the bank that he wanted to withdraw the cash for "gambling and whoring" The client (a respectable doctor) actually went through with it and said these words to the cashier. Apparently it shut the lady at the bank up straight away!