@Machiaspinner

Am i paranoid or i need to trust my. gut feelings

Hello everyone , hope you are doing very well .

I am really in a fucked up mental paranoia right now , your advice would help that will really sooth me .

I am with a LDR for 5 months now , she pushed for exclusivity many times (Not by the talk) but by removing all her dating apps , saying her Pussy is mine , i own her and tries to please me sexually and non sexually (Cooking etc ) etc... I gave it a try , not saying we are exclusive but i acted like we are , i dropped my 2 plates too without saying anything (I outrank her massively on SMV level ) , in addition i pay for all dates because she is a student .

All was good , because at the beginning i wasn't paying attention to what she does or she says , a plate is a plate .

Now as things became more serious , i pay more attention to texts timelapse and i feel like my oneitis is creeping in.

I tracked her ovulation phase , it's those 3 days , and by coincidence she vanishes for 9 hours (Not working , not studying this week ) , and respond when she is at home (because her parents rarely let her sleep outside) , says she was with her sister shopping , a female friend visited her and they went out and tries to keep the conversation with affection , emojis etc , good night .... I dind't buy this shit and the paranoia began AWALT.

Adding to that , she said she will send me nudes to recharge me for the next time we will meet , and she didn't (I didn't ask for them or said anything) .

To be honest i didn't sleep well 3 days in a row , i keep my sanity by running every night . I am really sure in my deepest guts this bitch is cheating (There can be no coincidence of vanishing and her ovulatory phase without cheating , the problem is i don't have a proof .... LDR ) . My dread is on point , minimal affection , coldness after thoses vanishes , she tries to keep conversations , double texts etc ....

I took a decision that i will end this mess , keep lifting and work on my career . Honestly i can't plate her , oneitis is creeping in , to restore my plates i need time , and if i open the relationship , i will be more hurt (Seems like she has many backups she is actually cheating with) .

Now , we arranged to see each other the next week (she will come to my city) to stay together for valentines and her birthday .

So i prepared a revenge plan (Beta trait but that will appease me at least ) , i will fuck her one last time , have good time , lovebomb her , do all naughty things i think of , then when i drop her at the train station i will send this message to: Hey babe , i think this long distance thing won't work , it's better to stop it now . Wish you all the best / Then go ghost without closure .

What do you think guys of my paranoia and if it's justified and my revenge plan .

You guidance and advices are very well appreciated .

"As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see."

― Gaius Julius Caesar, Commentaries on the Gallic War

I don't understand what benefit you gain in spending time and energy planning this Birthday slash St. Valentine's date with your LTR-LD-GF to just blow it up afterwards, because you're paranoid she might be seeing someone else. If you two haven't agreed to being exclusive, then focus on enjoying the time she spends with you during this date, wrap your junk, bang her brains out, then send her home with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.

Consider taking the time to actually read The Socio-Sexual Hierarchy and stop concerning yourself with doing what you believe an alpha would do. Make the time to accept that you're not an alpha, and that it's perfectly find that you never were. Don't concern yourself with if she's exclusive with you, until such a time as you're able to be around her regularly to observe her behavior firsthand.

Contrary to your current thinking, seeking revenge on others for perceived slights is gamma behavior, not Bravo/beta, and this isn't the first time you've hinted at that side of yourself.

While not at the top of the hierarchy, bravo/beta's and delta's are invaluable as they provide the knowledge and skills essential to making sure society functions as smoothly as it does. Focus on being the most capable competent man you imagine you could reasonably be. Simply because you don't see yourself at the top of yet another hierarchy, doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you.

@sharknado

O What do you guys thing of the black pill and the rise in popularity of looksmaxxing? i'm sure you have answered this before but i am curious on what you think the importance of looks in dating is. I used to use this website when i was younger for learning game, i have grown older now and just thought i'd have a look

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtwiAkUj5Go

Black pilled guys strike me as working through the stages of grief, but stuck specifically on depression for some reason. It's similar to what I see with guys expressing red pill rage, they're hung up on the anger stage of grief for their own reasons. Finding out you've been lied to for most of your life forces you to reprocess a lot of past information and experience as you realign your thinking.

Looks-maxing is unsettling to me, because while being good looking has importance, guys who subscribe to it with such intensity tend to be narcissists. I think a lot of guys who subscribe to that thinking are otherwise stuck in the denial stage of grief. They know enough to grasp that the guy they are at the time of realization isn't one others will find attractive. So, they delude themselves into thinking that if they consume product, develop a body builder physique, or internalize the current media assigned thing that this will make them attractive. It doesn't go well for the ones who can't grasp that that alone isn't going to enable them to achieve their goals.

Reality is that productive men are in a constant state of revision and improvement. So long as a guy steers clear of drugs, sex, and violence during those time of reflection they'll come out of it for the better.

@Saltycroc

Plate ended things- where did I go wrong?

I've been seeing this girl since October, I met her at a halloween party, where she cheated on her boyfriend with me. I kept talking to her, went on a few dates and we had sex twice since the party. I woke up seeing she removed me on snapchat and a message from her saying "your ego is too big and its not funny any more so I'm going to remove you" I hadn't messaged her for about 5 days before this, so maybe that was the reason? Maybe I was too much of an "asshole" and didn't show enough beta qualities to keep her around longer?

is there any way to salvage this? I feel like if she was serious about ending things she would have blocked me instead of just removing me (I can still message her), but maybe that's just my big ego lol.

If not, would anyone have an idea as to where I went wrong?

Study the book. Nothing of value was lost on your part. Plates break. It's just what they do. If anything, you dodged a bullet with this one.

It reads like you both were having yourselves some nice sloppy fun until she decided to make the pseudo-dramatic online exit. Thing is, a plate exiting from your life is inevitable, so why care? You weren't looking to be exclusive with her, and her attempting to monkey branch to you from her boyfriend, she demonstrated a clear inability to be loyal.