@AnubiswithaDNR

I’m currently spinning 3 plates and i’m always looking over my shoulders when i’m out with one of them out of fear of being caught. It’s the first time to spin more than 2 plates at a time so i’m not sure how to manage it. I live in a moderately big city, however there’s always a slim possibility to come across someone you know.

Main plate is now asking for exclusivity and I didn’t give a clear answer but i denied my interest in other girls.

This is a new territory for me, so any advice or any link to read would be appreciated.

I can't do better than to redirect you to my reply to your last question. You're going to need to adopt a more relaxed and honest attitude about your situation of dating multiple women. If they ask, don't deny that you're seeing other women, but never provide specifics regarding who they are, or how invested you might be into any one of them.

When on a date with any of them, the one in front of you should be your only concern in that moment. When you're out with Sandra, you shouldn't be thinking about Sarah. When you're out with Sarah, you shouldn't be imagining Gertrude. And when you're out with Gertrude, you shouldn't be planning your next date with Grushenkha.

At this point, it reads like you may want advice regarding additional strategies and tactics in regards to handling the women in your life. Classic Carry Grant films tend to be good as they present what are still very plausible situations a man finds themselves in when dealing with women. I couldn't say how well they work translated into other languages, if you're not an English primary speaker, but they're a good place to start.

@AnubiswithaDNR

I’m currently spinning 3 plates and i’m always looking over my shoulders when i’m out with one of them out of fear of being caught. It’s the first time to spin more than 2 plates at a time so i’m not sure how to manage it. I live in a moderately big city, however there’s always a slim possibility to come across someone you know.

Main plate is now asking for exclusivity and I didn’t give a clear answer but i denied my interest in other girls.

This is a new territory for me, so any advice or any link to read would be appreciated.

I've got to agree with @jprdl here, it doesn't strike me that you're spinning plates, but rather dating three different females. While this is without a doubt an admirable feat, from the anxiety it's inspired you to have, you're beginning to realize the challenge you've created for yourself. You've also made things potentially more complicated by lying to one regarding only dating her. When you lie, you create a work of fiction you've got to keep track of and who you told it to, which only amplifies the anxiety. Unless you fear for your safety don't do it. It undermines confidence as you'll eventually blunder, so stop. While you can omit information, lying isn't in your best interests.

Consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library.

The next time you're with the girl you lied to, if she or any other girl brings up exclusivity, jokingly tell her you don't know if the other women you're dating will be entirely ok with that. When she asks why you lied before, and she will ask, tell her that some women tend to get angry knowing that they've got competition, and that you didn't want to put that pressure on a girl.

There's no need for her, or any of them to know how many women you're ever actually dating or who they are. However, an interesting phenomena with females is that oftentimes they will work harder to win a man knowing they've got competition for him. In your situation, you claim to actually have it, so why lie about it if it can work in your favor?

You managed to get yourself into dating three women at once. Why lie to them? Why care if anyone of them leaves you if you're not interested or ready to be exclusive with any of them? Them departing frees up space to invite another. Why are you doubting your ability to attract another in such a situation now?

@AnubiswithaDNR

just to clarify, she never brought up the talk and it has remained casual with occasional girlfriend treatment. She will get demoted now. However, starting to wear condoms would require a discussion that i want to avoid to not show jealousy; as i’ll have to enquire if she sleeps with other guys etc.

Also, what do you mean by not letting sex to be a factor?

Which is just as well, as females who make themselves sexually available to males prior to forming a relationship with them usually tend to be psychotic, or mentally unstable. This is why there's the old saying, "you can't make a housewife out of a whore," or a slut for that matter.

I, again, direct your attention to the link provided in the previous comment. The higher a females notch count over one, the lower her ability to pair bond, or form a relationship with a male. While sexual intercourse doesn't seem to dramatically diminish a mans ability to be loyal to a woman, it appears to destroy a woman's ability to be loyal to a man.

@AnubiswithaDNR

I’m 28 and currently seeing a 21 years old uni student casually for over 3 months now. I was spinning other plates during that time. I’m sure she’s sleeping around with other guys, but I never investigated. Notion is i believe she’s young and free to fuck around, but I cannot deny that the idea is bothering me a lot and also i wanted to make sure I don’t get any STDs.

I’m not sure if i should confront her, and how to get down to it. She is great in bed and very submissive. I might have developed some feeling for her and afraid she might flake. Advise is appreciated.

It reads like you're developing one-itis. Whether she, or any female you're dating, has a stable of men to choose from doesn't really matter. You've been dating her assuming that there was competition from the start. If you've been banging her bareback and you're now becoming concerned about potentially acquiring an STD, that's really a concern you should've had months ago. The only thing you can do now is stop going bareback, and consider not letting sex be a factor when you start dating a gal in the future.

As far as confronting her goes, if she hasn't brought up wanting the relationship with you to be exclusive, or doesn't makes references to you as her boyfriend to others, then it's not an option on the table. If you're not the man who deflowered her, or the first man immediately after, it might prove difficult for the reasons highlighted here to get much more than short long-term exclusivity with her, but I fully understand the desire to develop a relationship with a female nearly ten years younger and won't fault you for trying.

The thing is, until you hear her asking questions regarding what, if any, future the relationship has, you're going to have to occupy your idle time with other thoughts to distract you from your nascent one-itis. Consider taking up a hobby the lack of plates provides you. Plan for mothers day. Take your sister out for dinner. Spend time with your aunts and grandmothers, if they're still around. Spend time with your nieces and daughters if you have any. Do this so that if the uni student asks if you're seeing other women before you build up a new inventory of plates, you can honestly say 'yes' before talking about one of your relatives in a humorous way.