@jcorb

You don't actually want to kill yourself, because you don't actually want to be dead. If you did, you would have done so already.

The fact that you are still here means that you still have the idea that things could be better in the future.

That's what you need to get to work on, because if there is to be any chance of that happening, it's up to you to make it happen.

Which means you need to do three things:

1. Put in consistent effort over time.
2. But before that, learn what you need to know to make those efforts in an area that will bear fruit.
3. But before that, get out of your own way.

You cannot get out of poverty if your mind is occupied with telling yourself you deserve to be poor.

What is your evidence that you deserve to be poor? As far as I can tell, it's only the fact that you ARE poor. Are you going to tell me that the universe is just and everyone gets what they deserve?

You gotta think about your life like it's a movie about you. Think of all those movies that start out with the hero waking up a dumpster after a night of binge drinking. He's lost his job, his wife left him, his mom died of cancer, his dog got hit by a car, and he's been evicted from his shitty New York City apartment.

Rock bottom. All these heroic stories start at rock bottom so that the hero has somewhere to go.

We all love a story about a winner, but this is where the story of a winner starts. In the gutter. So we can watch him climb.

I don't know you, so I can't possibly tell you exactly, step by step, what you need to do in YOUR life. But you don't need that. You already know that part.

What you need is the courage to do it.

If you're ashamed of yourself, turn that into determination that you don't want to live one more day like this.

So, I'm gonna be honest, I'm having a hard time with "life" right now. I got laid off last year, tried to start my own company, and then got a legal threat for a non-compete agreement I'd signed with my previous employer. The only reason I was let go is because I was working remote anyways, so I wanted to move closer to family (my dad in particular, who isn't doing well). I've tried to make it work, but I ended up applying for on-site jobs where I used to live (around DC), and those are the only places interested in interviewing me. So I'm going through the process of relocating again, leaving my family all over again.

Honestly, I just want to stick a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. I feel so tired. I feel like a fucking loser. I'm 35 (yay, happy birthday me), no kids, and I feel like I'm watching everyone's lives fall apart. And I have this pit in my stomach, like it's going to be the last time I see my dad. And everyone (except him) is pissed I'm even thinking about moving away for work, and I just feel like I'm this massive disappointment to everyone.

And that's to say nothing about what I actually want for my life. I'd do anything to move to Hawaii; sounds stupid, probably, but I just feel like that's where "my people" are. Where I would find a life I actually want to live. But barring that, just being near friends and family. But it's like, I can't even make that work. I haven't even heard back for minimum-wage jobs, let alone anything I feel has an actual future.

And goddammit, I can't seem to keep it together. I feel like I'm on a razor's edge of having a complete mental fucking breakdown, at any given moment, every single day. Everything sucks, and I just want to feel like I can get my feet under me again and catch my breath.

I can't help but ask myself if "life" has really been worth it. I feel like all the bad memories and experience far outweigh the good, and I wonder if there's anything I can actually do to reach a life of happiness at this point. I feel like life has already passed me by, and I didn't even enjoy the ride.

I'm just really not sure how to cope with any of this shit anymore. I just want to close my eyes and pretend this was all a dream.

@jcorb

I‘m going through kind of a rough time right now. While my situation certainly isn’t ideal (essentially been without stable work for about a year), I imagine other guys are probably dealing with similar stresses in other ways.

What I’m curious, though, is how many of you actually feel… fulfilled with your current life? I mean, what does your current life even look like?

I‘m almost 35 now, pretty much always been single, always been a “keep your nose to the grindstone” kind of guy, and I think I’m really feeling how much life just hasn’t really panned out. Regret that I didn’t make “finding someone” a bigger priority, and seeing most of my friends raising kids (some of which are nearly young adults themselves), I’m feeling a huge sense of emptiness. And wondering what life is even going to look like moving forward.

But also, how often do you see your families? Back when I did have a decent job, I was stuck living near DC, and could only see my family like once a year. Is that a normal trade-off? Where do you guys find that balance?

Right now, I’m debating if I even need to leave the area my family lives again, to move somewhere there’s more work. And it just feels like no matter what I do, there‘s no good outcome; either I continue trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel, or I leave my family again, and I really worry about my dad’s health.

Hell, even the “decent job” I had, I never found any sort of satisfaction in. It paid the bills, but it felt like it just drained so much out of me. Even for a cushy desk job, it regularly demanded 10-11 hours a day. Most days I got home, I just wanted to eat, browse internet for a bit, then go to bed. Didn’t feel like much of a life then, either.

I guess it’s just got me wondering, is this just “normal life” for everyone else, too? Or am I just on the wrong path, and if so, how do you even begin to find a way to actually become happy?

Happiness is fleeting. Better to experience a life of contentment. To achieve it is more fulfilling, tends to last longer, but don't stop doing what you can to make the most of the time you can spend with the relatives you enjoy spending time with. Nothing lasts forever.

If you want to move beyond your current employment situation, then you're going to need to use your idle time to focus yourself onto on something that will enable you to do so. If you're in the U.S., check out the Occupation outlook handbook website provided by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Look at good paying trades your area economy supports that you can get into. There's always a demand for locksmiths, appliance repairmen, plumbers, electricians, vehicle mechanics, machinists, skilled tradesmen and the list goes on. If exiting the rat race is what you desire, then work out a plan which would enable you to. Not sure how, then go poke at "off grid" themed videos on youtube.

Also, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library.

There is literally nothing you, or any English speaking man alive right now, would seek to accomplish in life that is beyond your means to achieve. Now, rest up, read up, and get back to work.

@jcorb

Okay, people, read this one carefully. It perfectly illustrates the conditions and mindset of poverty.

The core of poverty is the Red Queen Effect. Members of the underclass are unable to run to get ahead, because they are too busy running to stay where they are.

They can't, for example, go to college, even with fully subsidized student loans, because dad when they were three, mom has to take care of four other kids (all with different fathers), and abuela is sick... so they have to work two jobs.

No time to build for tomorrow, just gotta stay afloat for today.

The reverse is the core of wealth. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniack may have start Apple Computer in a garage, but it was a parent's garage. A parent who put a little money into the business, but who, more importantly, was there to support them even if the business failed.

The children of wealthy people can take risks with big upside payoffs, because they know that they won't freeze or starve if they fail.

The one refrain I hear most frequently from poor people is "I can't do X, Y needs me". They can't take care of themselves, because they are too busy taking care of other people.

When the cabin loses pressure, and the oxygen masks drop down, you have to put your own mask on first.

I‘m going through kind of a rough time right now. While my situation certainly isn’t ideal (essentially been without stable work for about a year), I imagine other guys are probably dealing with similar stresses in other ways.

What I’m curious, though, is how many of you actually feel… fulfilled with your current life? I mean, what does your current life even look like?

I‘m almost 35 now, pretty much always been single, always been a “keep your nose to the grindstone” kind of guy, and I think I’m really feeling how much life just hasn’t really panned out. Regret that I didn’t make “finding someone” a bigger priority, and seeing most of my friends raising kids (some of which are nearly young adults themselves), I’m feeling a huge sense of emptiness. And wondering what life is even going to look like moving forward.

But also, how often do you see your families? Back when I did have a decent job, I was stuck living near DC, and could only see my family like once a year. Is that a normal trade-off? Where do you guys find that balance?

Right now, I’m debating if I even need to leave the area my family lives again, to move somewhere there’s more work. And it just feels like no matter what I do, there‘s no good outcome; either I continue trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel, or I leave my family again, and I really worry about my dad’s health.

Hell, even the “decent job” I had, I never found any sort of satisfaction in. It paid the bills, but it felt like it just drained so much out of me. Even for a cushy desk job, it regularly demanded 10-11 hours a day. Most days I got home, I just wanted to eat, browse internet for a bit, then go to bed. Didn’t feel like much of a life then, either.

I guess it’s just got me wondering, is this just “normal life” for everyone else, too? Or am I just on the wrong path, and if so, how do you even begin to find a way to actually become happy?

Does anyone else think it is FRIGHTENING how heavy-handed people are getting about "social justice" and "politics"? I just saw this article on NexusMods banning this mod to remove rainbow flags from the new Spider-Man game, and that shit just seems ridiculous to me.

Like... this is a site that hosts mods that add all kinds of nudity, sex, any and all weird shit (along with way more normal content, too), so it just reeks of this pretentious, holier-than-thou mindset.

And the thing is, people are getting SO radical about this shit, I think it's causing people who actively oppose this stuff to grow more radical, as well.

I mean, if you feel like your voice is being silenced -- whether I agree with it or not -- you're going to start promoting those voices that at least stand up for you.

Real talk, I think this shit is exactly why "neo-nazi" bullshit actually is starting to grow. And to be clear; fuck nazis, I am not on board with that shit. But a guy I used to work with (who definitely was a racist POS) had made a good point for why he thought those types of groups might actually be growing; because they're the only groups to seem to give a shit about lower-middle class white folks. The political Left is happy to pin all our current woes on "white people", "men", or "white men", and the political Right is too afraid to even engage in those conversations, for fear of looking bad. So if you're white, male, or a white male, your opinion is at best invalidated, and more often than not, people are actively trying to silence you.

All it does it create a powder-keg of a situation. Same with all this LBGT shit. I really don't care what people want to do. If you're gay, then you're just gay. That's cool, I don't really care, but you be you, man. But now, that's not enough; everything has to be "gay" now. Everything has to be "inclusive". Take comics; that used to be a pretty specific audience back in the day, right? Shit was aimed primarily at nerdy white guys. Some of the stuff is a bit juvenile by today's standards, but really, what does it matter? Comics were a fantasy, the lead characters a cipher that you could put yourself in their shoes. It didn't matter if you felt like a loser, or got picked-on in school; when you were reading Spider-Man, suddenly "being a nerd" wasn't a bad thing, but in fact a strength. Peter Parker could win fights, bang hot girls, all this stuff, at the very least in spite of being a nerd, but more often because of it.

And as the audience grew, it obviously makes sense people would want different characters they could connect with. I think that's great. If you're gay, of course you want a comic-book character who is gay; it might not be my thing, but to each his own, right?

But the solution wasn't "make your own characters". Instead, it was "what if we make Green Lantern gay?" "What if we turn Thor into a woman?" "What if Captain American was black?"

And the thing is, if you call this out, saying "if you want characters that are gay, or black, or women, why don't you just make those characters? Why do you have to take our characters and change them?", you're immediately met with "cancel-culture".

And let's just call it for what it is; it's a bunch of fucking bullies, who defend their bullshit behavior with the pretentious, holier-than-thou justification of "social justice".

And this shit is done -- these existing characters are changed -- because they either don't want to put in any actual work, of building an interesting, compelling story with a character they feel "represents" them, or because they know, those characters might not actually sell. That those characters aren't widely accepted enough to be successful. Either way, the result is the same; they piggyback off of the hard work of others, and then argue to change the context for an easy win.

I'm a big gamer; always have been. I've been moving around constantly since I was a child, so I didn't have a lot of friends, so gaming was always "my thing". I remember gaming back in the 90's, when it was standard practice to shit on anyone that played video games as "a loser", or "not a real man". It's great they perception has mostly changed. And I love than I'm able to share that passion with other folks, even of different backgrounds. But I also think it's kind of shitty that the Gaming space has been co-opted as this hyper-liberal space, and that they all want to recontextualize my life-long hobby as something that I'm not allowed to be a part of anymore, or that every single game HAS to be made "inclusive" to as many people as possible, even people who don't even actually seem to care.

I mean, everyone's heard of World of Warcraft, right? I've played since launch. It first got popular, largely because it WAS kind of juvenile; it was goofy and over-the-top. The men are all fucking macho as shit -- every dude looks like an 80's action hero -- and the women were scantily-clad sex-bombs. Over-the-top, maybe a little cringey, but very much a "fantasy". And to be clear, the game was a hit with women, as well, which kills the notion that it ONLY appealed to men, but whatever, let's just assume that actually was the case.

Well now, all the staff working at Blizzard are all "woke". They've literally started killing off ALL of the male characters, propping up "strong, powerful women" in their place. They recently made a "trans" character, and made that character essentially God in the game. Most (possibly all?) of the characters being introduced are gay, or "non-binary". One of the lead writers on the game celebrated that one of her male characters was "a celebration of non-toxic male masculinity". In a game and series quite literally ABOUT WAR, they've decided to recontextualize everything through the lens of "any form of conflict is bad". They had literal genocide in the game, and had their characters reach the conclusion "we have to spare [the person who ordered said genocide], because "violence is bad, mm-kay?"

THE POINT IS THIS:

It's a big world, and people are going to feel differently about different things. But these people -- "liberals, the political Left, the woke mob", whatever you want to call them -- have become so radical, they have the audacity to try and control the conversations that are allowed, that you're not even allowed to think a certain way. And all it's doing is placing all of these people in a pressure-cooker, and they're increasing this pressure dramatically so, every single day.

All it's going to do is make things worse, because if rationale, moderate voices are being silences and attacked, then it's only a matter of time before we start seeing TRULY radical voices raised in response. And hopefully, that doesn't cause things to escalate into actions.