Family, personal secrets that might help you deal with stuff, family.

After so many years there might be few things forgotten or hidden under a few layers of concrete like Chernobyl power station. But now can be opened.

1. Is there any secret you think I should know, or I don't know and it possibly may affect me in a future, but you wouldn't share or share only in the will (here you can specify, only to release the memory, family, sister, brother, uncle, unknown sibling

2. What experiences do you think thought you a lot but you would never think to pass it on, thinking it is to miniscule to even talk about it.

I would think that getting in a habit of asking this questions in batches (say 1x a year) might be a reminder to elders to write stuff down. Having them on a piece of paper and leaving the paper behind might also 9 help them to organise time to prepare.

Like many men here, I had slowly allowed myself to become lazy in my main cohabitating fake-gf style LTR of 5yrs (mistakes 1 and 2). She also witnessed me almost zero out and be slow to start valuing my own time again (Mistake 3) I do have a 2nd non-cohabitating LTR. Both know I see other women and the relationship is physically open on my side, but they have a big part of me emotionally, which really sexually excites the former as a cuckqean, but even the sex with her has become less frequent/enthusiastic (and who can blame her) as there have been several instances of poor leadership, getting subtlety resentful when she doesn’t fuck the way Ive trained her or show the enthusiasm I want(loss of attraction on her part), failed shit tests and comfort tests, ambiguity about the future/relationship on my part. Obviously, it would make sense to scrap this one and spend my time elsewhere, but we’re both on the lease for another 6months. Even said recently (only once) “sometimes I worry I’m in love with your potential” in a slightly sad tone, which I laughed off/shut down. But I could tell she was serious.

Here’s the thing: she’s still massively emotionally invested, asks to do things for me regularly, talks about the future and me putting “5 babies in her”, last night even bloody hand made me cookies with custom icing reflecting an intetest of mine, unprompted. Often asks “is there anything I can do to be helpful today?” Hits me “I love yous” etc etc. Would never consider her as bonafide LTR material due to a history of impulsiveness, being in open-relationships and cheating on previous partners, but this one has done things to earn emotional investment from me and I’d like to keep her around if she continues to be receptive to my leadership and puts in the work on herself. Has Oneitis crept in? Likely. Do I also want to keep bettering myself and keep developing an exit plan? Absolutely. My questions are; is there anything that happened I’m not seeing? and what’s the most effective way to offer an olive branch before branch swinging? Concrete steps to restrengthen frame? Successful ways to implement pickup in a LTR?

Hard Mode indeed. Shit.

Answering own Q: continue to work on MAP and be the best version of myself, continue building life away from both LTRs, implement pickup in LTR1, wait till I find my own place and inform LTR1 I need my own space “it’s a guy thing”