Hey,

Basically i met this girl at a bar, she asked for my social media, we went to the club together & other friends, nothing crazy but we had fun, she was into me etc

I text her the day after

• Me : " went home safe yesterday?"

• Her : "Yes sure" + some chitchat

• Me : "Let's meet again this week, i'm free on wednesday"

Since i got zero reply from her after like 30 hours, i removed my text, unfollowed her

She now just texted me 2 days after asking " Hey are you in town " ?

Girls are glued to their phone 24/24, so she ignored my text on purpose - wasn't interested ?

I just next and don't reply to her ?

I've realized that for a huge portion of my life, my dad has constantly brought me down. It started when I was 10 years old and excelling in mathematics. My teacher called me the smartest in the class, but when I told my dad, he denied it. Later, when I had a homework assignment that would get me into a gifted track, he sabotaged it to make sure I got a zero. I remember it vividly now.

In addition, whenever I had achievements—like landing a top-notch internship—he tried to deny that they were "real." He would fight with me over text, telling me not to go, until a relative confirmed it was legitimate. Even then, when I headed off to the internship during college, he acted strange and dark.

Now that I'm connected to many successful people and pursuing entrepreneurship, he keeps trying to plant doubt in my head, bring me down, and make me feel lesser. He has been trying to make me doubt my life, my career, and everything else, despite the fact that I have already secured opportunities that can pay multiple six figures and single-handedly got into an Ivy League school to study computer science.

I am now turning 31. What do I do about this? It is starting to become a major distraction in my life.

From what you have written, there is a mental health problem here that is not being solved by normal means. I would seek some professional help here. I would keep doing all of the self help things like taking responsibility for your failures, practising good habits and trying to gradually expose yourself to things you find challenging to condition yourself but I would also seek some professional help. It sounds, from what you have written, like you need to escape a conditioned response to freeze up when in a challenging situation.

Finding good help can be very difficult as mental health is a frontier and there are competing theories and gurus out there. I think a good approach might be first to get a thorough diagnosis. You don't want to self diagnose and then seek help from a specialist in that field in case you are missing part of the picture. This may well, for example, be about your parents and how they treated you but not every man would have this strong a reaction to this treatment by his parents. There may be an innate weakness that is a cause of this problem as well as a circumstantial one.

There is rarely one magic bullet and whatever help you get it will in the end also require you to sort things out in practise. Its like a man with a broken leg. The radiographer can diagnose the fracture, the doctors can numb is pain and pin the bone back together, the nurses can set the bone in a cast, the the physio can give him exercises to recover his movement and strength but in the end he will have to do the exercises and walk himself, even if it is painful at first. When you know what you are dealing with, when you have got any medication that might help, do find someone who can give you practical exercises and solutions to build your confidence. Only you can walk the walk when it comes to wining with people. Get strong and motivated enough.

It is worth investing time and money in getting the right people. I would do this as a priority before worrying about where you live. You can run away form people but wherever you go, there you will be, with all your baggage and issues. If money is limited, I would prioritise diagnosis and treatment over change of scenery.