Hey y’all, I’m running into a couple of roadblocks that I’m having trouble overcoming. I’ve kept on lifting, reread the sidebar, and am about to restart The Book of Pook.

The first one is texting. While I seem to be getting better in general at in person game, I constantly seem to fumble any type of texting. I’ve managed to get a couple numbers or a little bit of interest, but I manage to kill that interest while messaging. I haven’t been able to create enough interest before getting a number to go straight to logistics it seems. I’m trying to only message for logistics, but it seems like the way I do that kills any attraction I have cultivated so far. How do I get better at texting without wasting the numbers I do get?

Second issue I have is with my inner game. Some days I feel like the top of the world and I’m able to create some interest but more often than not, I act and feel like my old self, falling into ways that kill attraction and make me feel like a pussy. I’m curious how people have went from nothing into really embodying the mindset and having it become second nature. A lot of the times it feels like I’m faking it till I make it, or role playing a Chad essentially. Like two weeks ago I had a girl all over me at a wedding where I was able to do Kino and dance. But just yesterday, I was in a shit mindset because I was sick and had to deal with some work drama, so I fumbled 3 girls that had shown IOIs and I could practically hear them getting turned off from talking with them. My question is how do you make it so all this becomes second nature?

Third problem is less a problem than a question about philosophy and where to focus effort. I’ve been reading a book about improving skills, and it essentially recommends focusing on one skill a year to master it. The first skill that came to mind was to work on game, but I feel like focusing so much on game would lead to disappointment, as it essentially puts women on a pedestal where in order to win, you have to be successful at game. So I thought about working on another skill, but I won’t get any better at game unless I actually game. My questions are, if you aren’t supposed to focus on women, yet you need to actually do game to get better at game, how are you supposed to get better at game if you’re main focuses are on shit that improves your life, like lifting and earning more? It feels like a big catch 22. So should I not focus on game at all and instead put more energy into upgrading other skills? I’m so behind in dating/life (31 and just had my first lay a couple of months ago), that I would think I would have to make a concentrated effort on game in order to be where I’d like to be.

Answering my own questions: 1) The way I’ve been improving my in person game is practice, but I feel like that’s a waste of leads when I have so few interactions lead to numbers which then lead to nothing. My current thoughts are to use AI and customize my messages after that. 2) Right now I think this is where practice does make perfect. I think it’s a positive feedback loop of learning that acting like I don’t give a fuck and sexual with these chicks actually sometimes does lead to success, which I previously never would of thought. 3) My instinct is to not focus on game but still make a dedicated effort to approach. If I just focus on upgrading a skill, that doesn’t lead to any success with women by itself, since I usually fall into a BP mindset of not doing anything unless I put actual effort into it, but if I make it my main effort it would make me desperate and the opposite of an abundance mindset. So I guess it’s just about balance.

I second Matty here. In my idealistic younger days, i played out every angle of "Act nice toward her, and she'll surely see how much better of an option you are than everyone else in the ocean of options she's immersed in, then she'll pick up the reins and start actively pursuing YOU!

I just coined a name for this: Passive-Possession. To the naive young idealist, this should TOTALLY WORK, especially given all the blatantly rotten and dysfunctional relationships to be seen everywhere.

Trouble is, this goes directly against sexual strategies that were functional and necessary back to our Simian roots, thus hardwired into brain functionalities that need eons to catch up to the changes wrought through tool use and technology development over the past historical blink of the evolutionary eye.

The actionable part of all this: female attraction solidly favors the suitors who pursue women actively and assertively, and this leaves relatively passive Nice Guy types in the dust of the dating game.

Thus, make a point of decisively ASKING OUT a woman you're interested in! You'll eliminate dead ends quickly and decisively, but you'll never "ruin" a legitimate open opportunity by "pushing the matter. "

Clumsy and ineffective METHODS of asking do exist, but make a different matter entirely.