Look, great work on pulling this one back. The "check for spiders" stuff is great, well done on all the flirting and tension. I thought this one was a lost cause, so well done on turning it around.

She didn’t cum, so I did oral on her and made her cum (in hindsight, stupid as fuck).

Absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I'd suggest doing it before sex rather than after, so you're all horny when you do it. It's always good to make a woman cum.

And well… let’s just say there were a lot of red flags I ignored. A lot.

After we fucked, I spent the night there, and not going to lie, I acted pretty beta during this, wanting to cuddle and shit.

Cuddling is fine, but you've been too needy about it from what you say.

She even said I was clingy.

Needy, overdoing it. Yes.

(Which confused me at first, but now makes sense if she hooks up with dudes every night). As we were chilling there, I noticed she had a lot of condoms on her bedside table. Like a good amount. She mentioned she was only looking for casual stuff.

Great that she's honest about it.

Joked about “having a roster”. She joked about sex stuff a lot, which I thought was her way of being sexual, but in hindsight she was telling me she sleeps around.

Right

When I still thought she was joking, I told her to cut that shit out. I asked if I could grab a powerade, and she said no, but when I asked why, she said I probably didn’t want to know.( I think this in reference to asking her to cut shit out, and basically said with that it’s some other dude’s powerades for after they fuck her). Don’t think she was joking now. I remember somone here saying to listen to what a girl jokes about, and they’re telling you shit indirectly.

Yep

Wish I internalized that better. Anyway, basically found out she’s pretty slutty.

Right. So now you know some of the signs.

Slutty girls still have standards, and she still likes you. So this isn't nothing. It's very rare to find a girl who thinks you're "the best and only guy for me". Super rare. Until that time, you're dealing with graduations of sluttiness, and that's totally fine especially when you learn to have the same freedon.

Still happy about losing my V card, but now I feel kind of disgusted and am super worried about STDs. I wrapped my dick up(thank god) but feel gross having eaten her out.

Ah. Well. There you go. The main one you can get from oral is herpes. You've been warned.

I got an STD panel done today and will do another one in a month or so. Terrified I caught something on my first time.

Unlikely, but good plan to get tested.

Also texted her the next day some beta shit about how I had a good time.

Dude, that's totally fine. Telling her you had a good time is great.

Since that I went to the gym and cleared my head up and realized what I pussy I’ve been. Now I’m trying to get in a good headspace again, but struggling. Planning to never text her again, hit the gym hard as fuck, and when I get my panels back, try to put myself out there again.

Right

Going to go back and read the literature again because I instantly became blue pilled right after we fucked, so obviously I have a lot of work to do.

Yes. You did "fake TRP until I get sex then instantly revert" which means you've not internalised it. You will.

My questions are: 1) What to do about STD anxiety? I feel so fucked for ignoring so many signals and eating her out.

Ok. Don't eat her out until you've had conversations about it. Most STD's are curable - AIDS is unlikely to be transmitted orally or vaginally, most others fully treatable. Read up about them all until you understand them enough to know what's a concern and what isn't. Herpes isn't treatable sadly.

2) Should I practice game and try to find other chicks while waiting for the panels?

Yes! You don't legally have to sleep with girls you talk to, you know that right?

3) All I feel right now is disgust at the fact she obviously fucks so many guys and anger at myself for not seeing it,

Most girls don't sleep with lots of guys. Most girls see 1-2.

so what were some ways y’all got your mental state right when you were spiraling early on in your journey? 4) If I do have STDs, how do I deal with it?

Depends which. Get treated ASAP obviously. Herpes: learn to live with it, treat as well as you can, don't inflict it on others when it flares up. AIDS: unlikely, deal with it if it happens. All others treatable I think.

But honestly, it feels fucking amazing to not worry about being a virgin anymore.

Congrats...... it's not a big deal, but well done.

Mentally stronger: push yourself into situations where you fail 50% of the time. Not 100%, that's easy. Not 0%, that's easy. 50%.

Lower bodyfat: Eat less calories than you use. You use TDEE (calculatos online) plus exercise. Eat 500 cals a day less than that, and you'll lose bf.

Cold approaching comfort:

This is somewhere between easy and brutal, depending who you are. Fundamentally you need your brain to disconnect all negative reactions from your sense of self, identity, attractiveness, confidence.

If you have zero emotional reaction to any conceivable thing that she says, or that her friend says, or that anyone watching might think, then you will be comfortable doing it.

You don't have to like being told to fuck off or ignored, but you do need to have very little emotional reaction to it, if you want to be comfortable.

Good news though: you don't need to be comfortable with it to be able to do it.

. Do women really move on this easily?

A few factors. She might not have been as high interest as you thought. Or you did something to alienate her. Or she found someone else. Or you didn't move fast enough.

I mean yeah she's probably fucking with some other guys now and I'm not her top option anymore but wtf. I can't believe i'm that replaceable.

Get used to it my friend. Get used to it.

The only solution is to care less by getting more options.

We had a great night, she went from begging me to text her back and calling me daddy to being left on delivered for days now. WTF.

Right. Lightswitch effect. Fairly normal. Not always.

Try not to take them too seriously, especially before sex on two occasions.

I know Im supposed to have abundance mindset too but i don't want to give up on this girl that easily.

Abundance yes. Give up on this girl - you are now chasing her, rather than creating a relationship with her. This is terrible, because by any rational measure she has failed your standards. If you chase now, you are saying "I accept your shitty changeable behaviour". Admit it - your feelings for her are misplaced given how cold she is.

I'm talking to other girls on the apps but i'm gonna keep pinging her every couple of weeks cause i want her.

Look - fair play for being honest with yourself. But do you want her? Really? After going cold like this?

I don't think she's gonna come back around if I leave it alone so that's my strat going forward.

She won't if you leave her alone. She probably won't if you keep pinging her.

The danger of keeping pinging her is that she accepts you as a fallback option. And that is fucking mind numbingly destructive to your self esteem.

I've done the liberty of addingThe Book of Pook from archive(.)org to the AskTRP sidebar – click the black and white tab icon at the top of the page

Use print -> save as PDF to get it on your device

Reading the regular TRP The Sidebar is still a requirement of posting in AskTRP, but it's very clear that a lot of you guys are completely new beginners at game and struggling with talking to women in general

Yes, he has a whimsical and eccentric writing style, but this is going to help a lot of you guys a lot more than most of the other staple readings

In my years of modding AskTRP and coaching guys, it doesn't seem like being Red Pilled is necessarily where some of your guys' stage of development is and Red Pill praxeology isn't a concept you can handle till you get your feet wet with women first. I get it.

Still read the TRP sidebar if you're going to post here, but you really don't have a shortage of resources, at least read The Book of Pook if you aren't ready to unplug all the way and need more game support than men here can realistically offer across advice posts.

It has everything you need to get started and answers most of the basic stuff you guys tend to fumble