Womanese!

It's no surprise that women speak in another language. They are subtle creatures, sneaky, devious, and say things in code.

It's time for men to break the code of womanese!

For your reading pleasure, bold will be the woman. Normal text will be the explanation. Italics will be what the Pook man is saying.

I'm not looking for a relationship right now. → TRANSLATED: I don't want a relationship WITH YOU. Don't even BOTHER trying to go out with me since I am saying that a relationship with you and me is already not going to happen.

POOK-MAN SAYS: I was nearby when a woman was giving this 'veiled' rejection to a co-worker. I jumped in, "So if you're not looking for a relationship, then all you're looking for is SEX, is that it?" Her mouth dropped, but I continued. "I don't BELIEVE you women! That's the ONLY thing you have on your minds is SEX, SEX, and MORE SEX! I am looking for a loving relationship, but NO, you women only want passionate raw animal sex! Now with me, I find you need to TASTE the other pleasures in life. So you CAN get your mind off of sex, right?" Her eyes were GLOWING at me. Funny, she suddenly wanted a relationship with me. Hah!

I don't think of you in 'that' way. → My goodness, are you ugly and a sexual dud!

I think of you as a brother! -OR- You remind me of my brother! → I would consider sex with you to be incest.

The kids were bad today. → Obviously, your genes are defective!

We were both wrong. → But you were more wrong!

This recipe didn't turn out how I expected. → I burned dinner. → Try and complain. I DARE you.

You don't listen to me! → Honey, I HATE to interrupt... → As if you were doing anything more important.

Have you had time to... → Stop what you're doing, get up, and do it RIGHT NOW!

When you get a chance... → Do this immediately!

I hate to nag but... → I want you to get off the couch now!

Of course I don't mind paying for myself. → Cheap date!

Let's not rush things. → I have other prospects.

I'm not ready to settle down. → I sure as heck don't want to settle down with YOU!

I enjoy the single life! → I enjoy not being with YOU!

I need more space! → You're becoming undesirable and unattractive. → This is when you WALK AWAY.

I'm focusing on my 'career'. → My training and studying for my career is extremely boring and tedious yet more exciting than you'll ever be.

Let's just give it some time. → You're not high on my rating list. You're good insurance policy if a better prospect doesn't show up.

I like you, but... → I don't like you at all.

You're not the type of guy I'd date, you're the type of guy I'd marry! → You're sexually a dud. You're not fun to be with. But you are... 'nice'.

POOK-MAN SAYS: A friend of mine responded to this line with, "And you're not the type of girl I'd marry, but you would be the type for a one night stand!"

Let's Just Be Friends → You'll never see me naked! I'm not attracted to you.

Pook Man then says, "No, I have enough friends. Buh-Bye!"

I don't want to ruin our friendship. → Please continue to remain my girly friend. You make an excellent emotional tampon!

Honesty is very important to me. → Only tell me what I want to hear.

I only like you as a friend. → I'm not attracted to you. → "And I only see you as a flaming $lut w-hore!"

You're so manly. → Shave, bathe, discover a thing called S-O-A-P.

Let me check my schedule to see if I'm doing anything. → I have plans. WE do not.

We need... → I want...

Can you call me back? I need to... → I just need an excuse to get off the phone. I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I LIED BLATANTLY TO YOUR FACE. Oh, and have a nice day!

How about you give me YOUR number. → I'll add it to my trophy collection of guy's phone numbers — pathetic guys who want me but I don't want them!

POOK-MAN SAYS: Call her BS. "You just want to add it to your trophy collection of guy's phone numbers who..."

I'm not upset... → I'm upset. → She's upset.

Be romantic and turn out the lights. → I'm not proud of my body.

Do you love me? → I'm going to ask you for something expensive...

Am I fat? → Please tell me I'm beautiful.

I love men who take charge... → Pay the bill, you chump!

Sure, but I hope you're not disappointed. → I'm flat chested.

I'm not that type of girl. → Keep trying.

Don't touch me there! → Touch me there, but I'll stop you a few times first. → Heavy resistance is bad. Light resistance is normal. Woman WANT you to go for them. All woman WANT to be taken.

Will you respect me in the morning? → You won't tell your friends, right?

I'm not looking for anyone. → I'm not looking for anyone LIKE YOU.

We need to talk... → I need to complain! → Nod head, go 'uh huh', smile, repeat.

I need to think about it. → No way.

We have an off and on relationship. → I kept him around until someone BETTER shows up.

Where is this going? → Are we getting married?

No → No

Maybe → No

Let me think about it → No

I feel like I've known you my entire life! → Bingo! We have a Bingo! Will someone make sure this prize does not get away from me?

No → Yes.

Look, great work on pulling this one back. The "check for spiders" stuff is great, well done on all the flirting and tension. I thought this one was a lost cause, so well done on turning it around.

She didn’t cum, so I did oral on her and made her cum (in hindsight, stupid as fuck).

Absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I'd suggest doing it before sex rather than after, so you're all horny when you do it. It's always good to make a woman cum.

And well… let’s just say there were a lot of red flags I ignored. A lot.

After we fucked, I spent the night there, and not going to lie, I acted pretty beta during this, wanting to cuddle and shit.

Cuddling is fine, but you've been too needy about it from what you say.

She even said I was clingy.

Needy, overdoing it. Yes.

(Which confused me at first, but now makes sense if she hooks up with dudes every night). As we were chilling there, I noticed she had a lot of condoms on her bedside table. Like a good amount. She mentioned she was only looking for casual stuff.

Great that she's honest about it.

Joked about “having a roster”. She joked about sex stuff a lot, which I thought was her way of being sexual, but in hindsight she was telling me she sleeps around.

Right

When I still thought she was joking, I told her to cut that shit out. I asked if I could grab a powerade, and she said no, but when I asked why, she said I probably didn’t want to know.( I think this in reference to asking her to cut shit out, and basically said with that it’s some other dude’s powerades for after they fuck her). Don’t think she was joking now. I remember somone here saying to listen to what a girl jokes about, and they’re telling you shit indirectly.

Yep

Wish I internalized that better. Anyway, basically found out she’s pretty slutty.

Right. So now you know some of the signs.

Slutty girls still have standards, and she still likes you. So this isn't nothing. It's very rare to find a girl who thinks you're "the best and only guy for me". Super rare. Until that time, you're dealing with graduations of sluttiness, and that's totally fine especially when you learn to have the same freedon.

Still happy about losing my V card, but now I feel kind of disgusted and am super worried about STDs. I wrapped my dick up(thank god) but feel gross having eaten her out.

Ah. Well. There you go. The main one you can get from oral is herpes. You've been warned.

I got an STD panel done today and will do another one in a month or so. Terrified I caught something on my first time.

Unlikely, but good plan to get tested.

Also texted her the next day some beta shit about how I had a good time.

Dude, that's totally fine. Telling her you had a good time is great.

Since that I went to the gym and cleared my head up and realized what I pussy I’ve been. Now I’m trying to get in a good headspace again, but struggling. Planning to never text her again, hit the gym hard as fuck, and when I get my panels back, try to put myself out there again.

Right

Going to go back and read the literature again because I instantly became blue pilled right after we fucked, so obviously I have a lot of work to do.

Yes. You did "fake TRP until I get sex then instantly revert" which means you've not internalised it. You will.

My questions are: 1) What to do about STD anxiety? I feel so fucked for ignoring so many signals and eating her out.

Ok. Don't eat her out until you've had conversations about it. Most STD's are curable - AIDS is unlikely to be transmitted orally or vaginally, most others fully treatable. Read up about them all until you understand them enough to know what's a concern and what isn't. Herpes isn't treatable sadly.

2) Should I practice game and try to find other chicks while waiting for the panels?

Yes! You don't legally have to sleep with girls you talk to, you know that right?

3) All I feel right now is disgust at the fact she obviously fucks so many guys and anger at myself for not seeing it,

Most girls don't sleep with lots of guys. Most girls see 1-2.

so what were some ways y’all got your mental state right when you were spiraling early on in your journey? 4) If I do have STDs, how do I deal with it?

Depends which. Get treated ASAP obviously. Herpes: learn to live with it, treat as well as you can, don't inflict it on others when it flares up. AIDS: unlikely, deal with it if it happens. All others treatable I think.

But honestly, it feels fucking amazing to not worry about being a virgin anymore.

Congrats...... it's not a big deal, but well done.