t too sure. He mentioned to me that on the first date it’s best to flirt and show intent but intentionally do not go for a kiss or try to escalate into sex. The reason being is to show how good of a guy you are, and then on the second date escalate it all the way to sex.

He has a point, in some circumstances.

Opinions differ here: some guys say "get to sex and she'll stick around".

I'll give you my take at the end.

That will then help overcome any asd and also make them more obsessed with you rather than them feeling like you’re a shady character that just wanted them for sex/ them nexting you for trying it.

Yes

Is this good advice or is he talking out of his ass? For example if there’s someone you want to take a little more seriously, or if you want to overcome the barriers of asd, don’t invite them over to your place (or hotel if travelling) - after the first date.

If hotel or she's travelling, escalate all the way to sex. You won't be getting a second chance.

I’ve had scenarios where women were willing to come back to where I’m staying on first date, but also in some instances they weren’t. So I’m not sure if this is a good or bad idea.

Willing to come to your place does not mean sex.

For context I’m in mylates 20s and mainly interact with women in early to mid 20s.

Ok.

I see two options:

Option one: Escalate all the way to sex.

Advantages: if she's warmed up to you, aroused, in the mood, this can work. Especially if you seem like a sexy fun safe guy without doing any provider behaviour.

You're also most likely to get sex this way, if that's your aim. Less dates means less opportunities for her to change her mind, meet someone else, fuck up her logistics, change her mind, etc.

Disadvantages: likely to trigger retroactive ASD and she's less likely to see you again.

Option two (my preferred): Escalate to kissing. Enough to establish mutual interest. Change venues. Make no attempt to get to your bed or hers. Establish "I'd like to continue this sometime".

Date 2 or 3 at yours or hers. Date 2 ideally for FWB, Date 3 for LTR. This has the simple advantage that it doesn't trigger ASD nearly as hard and forms the basis of an ongoing sexual relationship.

What I can't agree with is "establish you as a good guy" and "don't kiss her". Kissing establishes mutual sexual interest and that you are capable of escalating to kissing. Women don't want boring dates to nowhere either (even if it's their fault). And the good guy part: fuck that. You want to be the rogueish devilish bad boy who is TEASING her by pacing things.

I think it depends what you want to achieve. If you want to simply fuck, then fuck.

But if you want a LTR, you don't know that much about her by the end of the first date and you also want to be seen as serious. This can mean that there is an advantage to being patient. Let her show her true colours. Is she a bit slutty and wants to put out straight away? Is she more into your wallet than you?

If you want to start a LTR, you want to know what you are starting. Women get less and less honest the more and more invested they get in you. They can be surprisingly honest when they are not yet invested. I would take a while to vet while building the physical tension. If she is in to you and she has a healthy sexual appetite, the tension will build for her and sex will go off like a bomb when it happens. If she is less so, well maybe you needed to know that?

In doing this, I am not advocating turning down a good thing if its handed to you on a plate. You may not want to be serious abut her if she puts out first date but why not enjoy yourself.

Women do expect to be desired. They expect you to want them if you fancy them, so stringing it out too much without a very good reason is sending mixed signals that won't help you except in very unusual cases. Some women really do not feel happy with being fucked by strangers. It is reasonable to allow them this, provided they have healthy desire, all will be well as they loosen up. This thing is very personal in women. You probably don't want a serious girlfriend to be too easy going undiscerning "Well ok Whatsyour name why not, just fill me up" sort of girl and you probably also don't want her to be an OCD dirt-phobe type who wants to bathe and wash herself out after every time you do it. Taking a little time to find out, watching her desire build slowly to yours can pay dividends here and save a lot of wasted time.