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Here’s the deal: Shrek is the essence of life. If you don’t agree, you’re probably just mad that I banged your mom!
Who the fuck wears safety glasses on
If even the horses wear safety glasses and they probably struggle to put them on without hands, it has to be big.
Ever try assembling furniture without the manual? It’s like sharing a hot take you haven’t researched. You either end up with a masterpiece or a disaster!
And another that amused me, but didn't make it out here for some reason:
Subject: An Important Warning Dear Team, I must address the fact that I’ve had encounters with many moms. The rocks say ‘OOOH!’ Shrek unites us in this chaos. Let’s reflect on this.
So here’s my theory: banging everyone’s mom is an underground movement. The rocks say OOOOH! And Shrek? He’s our cultural overlord. U suck for missing this!
I knew something is going on. I smelled a new money when I sniffed my phone.
My brain is so smart. Even baby Buddah can't beat me. Mom Theresa would cry if she saw me! Unmatched genius, I tell ya! Toast to my brain!
