@GeorgeIII

Does It Make Sense to Start a Relationship with her?

Hi all, I’ve got a girl who I could potentially start a relationship with here. I wanted to hear some thoughts from more experienced members of the community.

My background: I’m a 31M, been at least somewhat RP aware since 2021. I used to be a total 0 with girls, late term virgin, all that. So naturally never had an actual GF. But been able to get a few short term things here and there since then. I’ve been poking around at venues by myself on the side and have another high IoI prospect off on the horizon, but that’s it for other women in my life right now.

About us: I’ve been seeing the girl (26F) about 6 weeks. We met at a hobby group, I gave her a challenge, told her she would win a drink if she did it, and she did. So I took her out dancing. Since then, a mix of dancing, other meetings, and of course bedroom activities. When she asked early in, I told her I am not looking for a relationship right now and want to stay casual. She was ok with it at the time.

She is very flirty and touchy with me outside of sex. She also came to my place to cook for me when I was sick and had me over for dinner twice (which again she cooked). When we go out, we are 50/50 on cost, by her own insistence. She works in corporate and is somewhat feminist and liberal and all that, but not to the point of blue hair and asking me to read Virginia Wolfe. I also like that we come from a somewhat similar ethnic background (both children of immigrants, both at least part Asian). Despite being liberal, I also think she is much smarter and more reasonable than the majority of girls (and people) I’ve come to know.

Interesting kicker: She says was a virgin before meeting me. I know the usual “women lie about body count” stuff, but from what I’ve seen, I actually do believe she was, from how awkward and unknownledgable she is in the bedroom ways. She says she has been in 2 relationships, one with a Christian dude who wanted to wait till marriage, the other a dude who she kissed and did hand stuff with (she said, without me asking). From what I see, she followed a study hard -> corporate nun path without much dating or partying, due to Covid in the middle. I’ve heard all about pair bonding, virginity, and how taking too many dicks ruins bonding, hence why I’m writing so much about it.

The dynamic between us is that she thinks I’m much more experienced than her and that I’m “a player” and “mysterious”, which I will certainly continue to play off of.

Very recently, she told me that she would want to hear if I do fuck another woman on the side honestly, but that she would be hurt and she does want commitment, and is worried that I’m just using her for sex. I told her that as a guy I like being able to sleep with other girls when I want, but that I do value my time with her outside sex and feel a connection with her, all of which I really believe, myself.

She cried a bit but I was able to assuage her that I wasn’t going to just suddenly poof out of her life, and she said she would table the commitment talk a few 3 months. We then fucked the next morning lol.

Obviously, I’ve at least bought myself time. I’m open to the idea of a non-marriage relationship, as I’ve never been in one, and don’t want to give up my commitment easily or too quickly. But I’ve also never really had to seriously vet or consider a GF, as I knew for sure in my past stuff I wasn’t going to LTR the girls.

What does the community think here? Is this a solid prospect to start off with? And am I overvaluing taking her virginity?

TLDR: been casually seeing a girl who is a few years younger than me for 6 weeks. I’ve got no LTR experience. Took her virginity. I enjoy spending time with her both in and out of the bedroom. She is pushing for commitment, will want a decision in 3 months. Is she a solid prospect to proceed? And am I overvaluing her virginity?

Attempt to answer myself: I should use the time I’ve bought to keep vetting her, and not immediately throw her in the LTR or casual only piles. In the meantime, I should explore that one other peripheral prospect and find others, and fuck them if possible. And be honest with this girl in this post if I do, part to not be a liar and part to test her attraction for me.

You don't need our permission or approval to take, or pass on, any female, buy what's done is done. Though you've been honest with her about your intentions, she's clearly a highly motivated plate determined to earn a promotion to something more in life. So, she'll treat you well, until she has reason to do otherwise.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

The problem is that your lack of discipline and experience is what's made your life interesting. While you're only now considering tapping the brakes, I doubt that she'll be otherwise easily deterred. She's already got you letting her fill your belly and drain your balls into her. I wouldn't be surprised that she fully expects to beat out her competition if things keep going like this.

Good job, keep it up.

Good times ahead until she realizes that despite everything she's done, you're not going to change your mind. That's usually when things can get interesting and experience has taught me that Asian females can escalate things surprisingly fast.

@Mandelner

What are the most easiest/generic openers that gotten you somewhere?

Basically what the title says. For a long time I was using the "Heyy, I like your vibe, wanna grab a drink" opener on OLD and till this year, it has been working surprisingly well. I'm not saying that original openers are total bullshit, I just think that too much of an original opener is actually counterproductive.

So out of curiosity, I wanna know if you use totally generic openers, that doesn't look too generic, or if you have some points I could take for a no bullshit approach. I am kinda newbie into red pill and on this forum, so forgive me if I asked something too basic.

If you're seriously looking for pithy one-liners and openers to use on women, go start with any old Cary Grant movie. Unfortunately, the problem is that whatever success you might hope to have will ultimately depend on how experienced, comfortable, and quick witted you actually are in conversation, which ties into the real question you should be asking yourself. Specifically, "what have I done to develop and improve my communication skills"? Unless your high school hosted debate clubs, most modern western education systems won't formally introduce speech and communication until you're in college. Unfortunately, females aren't cultured to wait as they're constantly developing their communication skills, while males are expected to focus on performing various tasks competently.

For now, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@MiracleAligner

How to safely end relationship with severe BPD girl

She is extermely emotionally unstable. Everytime we have a fight she goes into a psychotic episode, ive never seen a person like this. Its a vey delicate situation because these people are dangerous, to themselves first but also they are prone to doing crazy shit and i dont want this thing from my past haunting me for the rest of my life. I've postponed the breakup for so long because i wanted to somehow make it right and have a amicable closure, unfortunately it seems that is not happening. Lately the relationship has turned abusive and im taking it like a chump, just being nice to her while trying to find a strategic way out, but i havent been able to. She lives with me so that makes things harder, i genuinely feel like the only way out is moving out and somehow creating a situation where she cant live with me anymore, then slowly let this all fade away. I repeat, sitting her down and beaking up is not an option, ive already tried this several times before and the aneurysm she gets into makes me take a step back, i genuinely am scared for her mental health but also for my security. I need a strategic way out and im asking for your help here

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw2kKyJu9gY

@Chantfire

thanks this was insightful, I got a copy of Vox day's Sigma Game. And Master V by Doc Love, I'll have a look at them when I'm done with is thread. Rian Stone feels like a lengthy read but I'll take what I can from him. I have been searching up and reading a lot of books on Christian marriages and I think your suggestion about me making more friends with other married Christians men sounds like a good idea. Side note I have a physical copy of the art of war and I take it with me its also got good material on leadership I take its principles mix them with doc love's system and it works wonders. Although we don't always agree on everything my marriage so far is going well. We have a daily prayer sessions together, it's a tradition now. I think my enquiry was cause some of the RP material I've read talks a bit about how woman turn men beta or unconsciously take over the leadership role. Subsequently I've been agreeing with a lot of my wife's ideas and then taking the lead on making things happen. I guess for a moment, I felt like I was slipping into a beta frame. Without taking too much of your time, I need a few more material on fatherhood. Plus I've been thinking about getting a gun. I need some advice before I get it.

That definitely reads as challenging, but you already know where to find the paladin press collection. While the info maybe old as it'll reference analog and earlier digital technologies, you'll find few better writers in regards to subjects related to self defense than those madmen, short of being a traumatized veteran of a combat arm of the military who still hears the trees speaking Vietnamese, or some vaxtarded NPC who hears the whir of electric motors above them when outdoors.

Again, congrats, and best of luck to you.

@carnold03 thanks this was insightful, I got a copy of Vox day's Sigma Game. And Master V by Doc Love, I'll have a look at them when I'm done with is thread. Rian Stone feels like a lengthy read but I'll take what I can from him. I have been searching up and reading a lot of books on Christian marriages and I think your suggestion about me making more friends with other married Christians men sounds like a good idea. Side note I have a physical copy of the art of war and I take it with me its also got good material on leadership I take its principles mix them with doc love's system and it works wonders. Although we don't always agree on everything my marriage so far is going well. We have a daily prayer sessions together, it's a tradition now. I think my enquiry was cause some of the RP material I've read talks a bit about how woman turn men beta or unconsciously take over the leadership role. Subsequently I've been agreeing with a lot of my wife's ideas and then taking the lead on making things happen. I guess for a moment, I felt like I was slipping into a beta frame. Without taking too much of your time, I need a few more material on fatherhood. Plus I've been thinking about getting a gun. I need some advice before I get it.

@Chantfire

I've got the system, down. I always refer to the truth triangle and bottom line factors. My wife's pregnant, I think her hormones are a bit over the place. Maybe I need something for mental health rather than LTR material.

Yea, we're all told that a females hormones, psychology, or both can make them predictably unpredictable, but there actually are some apps for that. Regardless, congrats, if Doc Love was still around, I'm sure he'd be glad to know that The System: The Dating Dictionary has been helpful for you.

Make time to build yourself a local network of faithful Christian married men, keep irreligious and syncretic people at a distance, build a list of married red pill writers, a family media library, and consider developing an AI agent to give you real time support when we're unavailable to you. I would suggest the late Doc Love's follow-up mastery series, but only one of seven volumes is on sites like libgen. As the price of each volume is $100, I'm not encouraging any guy to fork out for material they can't freely examine before making that kind of financial commitment.

Married men in the past have suggested Athol Kay. Though, something to be aware of is that many social media whores like Rian Stone, another red pill writer, are rarely capable of making a point without being queer making a gossipy info dump on someone they believe maybe more prominent in the algorithm environment than themselves. However, if you're a faithful Christian who feels they can handle blunt truths, you may find Vox Day's Sigma Game and Alpha Game, more worthwhile reads. If homeschooling is something you've been working to realize, apply the same scrutiny there as you've done with red pill writers.

Anyway, I've taken up enough of your time. I'm confident that you'll be able to pick solid sources for yourself. Remember to check out a writers youtube video archives, blogs, pirated ebooks to study their work, their values, their ethics, and other freely available media. If you find any writers work to be beneficial in realizing your goals, invest into getting physical copies of their books for your library. If Amazon can edit ebooks after purchase and download, anyone can. Best of luck to ya and congrats.