@Red_dead

Can’t get from sex to plate and second dates?

I’ve been having sex but I can’t get past the sex phase to plating a girl, or get from 1st to second date.

I’ve been meeting a ton of women through dating apps, a lot of these were preemptive since I hadnt fully moved to a new city. I’m not against approaching I just have been extremely busy with other life obligations so this was the best option in the interim until I got settled.

Most of these never reach the second date. Tbh im not sure what im doing, im not awkward I have a pretty cool life stories to share I let the girl talk.

To be fair most of these dates do go well it seems more something from the first to the second date im fucking up.

The first two I went on I think I fucked up because I mentioned that I was quitting my job and both seemed to have a negative reaction even though I had talked to about it before with one and she seemed to be suprised when i mentioned it

Once I stopped mentioning this the dates got better. I kissed closed one, had sex with two. The other girl fizzled out but tbh I had no desire to do anything with so I was fine with that.

I texted the kiss close asking what she was doing and she responded “hopefully hanging out with you” then deleted it lol but i saw and playfully joked. Then a couple days later she just went dead, responded she was busy with no alternative then stopped answering.

Of two I had sex with one I don’t want to see again, the other is barely responding, again giving wishy answers no alternative dates for plans.

I started approaching irl and plan on joining a couple clubs kind of sick of the online thing even though im getting a lot of matches. I approached a couple girls today at the grocery store and coffee shop.

Edit: oh I forgot to mention im getting a ton of numbers through the apps but most don’t even respond. I wait a couple days sometimes a week usually because I forget and am busy with work, any advice on this?

Study the book. Your online profile should've already given those females some basic info about yourself. When taking these females out on dates, it's best to keep them talking about themselves, because you need to confirm if the person in front of you is consistent with the image of them you've imagined based on their profile. Moreover, if she's on an actual date with you, you need to interview them to decide if they're worth your time and energy, or just a bang and bounce.

If talking about yourself, specifically about your work-life with females kills their interest in you, then you're going to need to stop talking about your work-life with females. You should look into breaking up your free-time by exploring hobbies to settle on those which interest you and finding real-life face-to-face male acquaintances to socialize with.

@SpecAl123

Bad genetics

I'm 26, I was born with a very small skeletal frame (my wrists are less 6 inches around). Most of my life I weighed 110 lbs at 5'7. I've been hitting the gym HARD for 3 years, 5 days a week. Calorie surplus, enough protein, everything. Now, most of my newbie gains are gone. I've gained like 70 lbs and I still don't look like I lift. My biceps are still under 14 inches. Most people that I've met at the gym get to my size in 6 months. It's humilliating.

My background is in Biology and I remember reading a study in college where they got like 100 new lifters and put them on a 3 month training program while monitoring their nutrition. Some lifters gained 5 lbs, some gained 30. My point being that genetics vary wildly and unfortunately I was just dealt a bad hand. I just happen to be on the far low end of responders.

I don't want to be small forever. Life is unfair but that doesn't mean we have to like it. Should I start taking steroids ? Should I get silicone implants ? Inject synthol ? I'd like to know what you people think.

If you think you've got bad genetics you've got two options going forward. Well, four, at least.

First, suck start a loaded pistol and take yourself permanently out of the game of life, preventing you from imparting those bad genes to future generations. While I acknowledge that the option exists, that shouldn't be mistaken for any sort of endorsement of suicide on my part. Second, you can do what guys like @58to62LegLengthening did by traveling to Turkey, or some other country, and drop some serious dough undergoing lengthy cosmetic surgery that addresses the aesthetic deficiencies genetics presumably burdened you with, leaving you to spend months recovering from the operations, before telling everyone who is otherwise uninterested in knowing that you're an aesthetically better person, despite your obvious deep psychological issues only getting worse.

Third option, you give up on procreating by getting a vasectomy enabling you to sport f#$% from here onward, then ask male relatives who you feel have genetics you lack if they'd be willing to donate their nut butter to be used at some time in the future for your children. Fourth option, do what men have chosen for thousands of years, invest the time and energy to seriously evaluate yourself, identify your various limitations and develop a plan to engage them, so as to transform yourself as close as you can into the man you otherwise envision you could one day be. Lifting weights and exercising is a good start, but comparing yourself to others is not helping.

While you mull those options over, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@hantira2000

Failed to overcome LMR

I went on a four dates with a girl and yesterday on the fifth took her to my place. I put on some music and sat next to her, but when I went in for the kiss she pulled away. I tried escalating 2 more times but she said she just wanted to talk. I was completely pissed and she left soon after. When I got home I sent her a text trying to keep things alive for the future saying I had a good time. She responded with a long text saying that I was rushing, didn't care about her feelings, etc. I told her that I did care about her (lie) but just couldn't help myself. We agreed to talk tomorrow, which is today. What did I do wrong? I might have escalated too quickly on the night and not built enough comfort. Do you think that this situation is salvageable? I think that it's salvageable but it will take me a lot of time to earn back her trust and get the lay.

Anything's possible, but you've not provided not enough information to suggest taking any sort of action would lead to a good outcome for you. Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

For now, you should focus on other things and other girls. Don't ever waste your time lying to people. It's a habit that tends to bleed over into other things and create problems for you as the liar, especially as you're male. The only response you should've made to her text was to say, "I'll talk to you later" and make a note to talk to her sometime the following week. Out of curiosity, did you two kiss at anytime during the previous four dates?