@DancySeattle

Is there anything after emotional cheating or is it over?

TLDR: If she cheated emotionally and now begs for a chance, is it over? Or still playable given I'll own my shit and become better man?

Probably a very obvious question, but I'm so wind up in my head right now I can't see the answer.

I am 33, she is 25. We are together for 4 years and know each other for 5. She is smart and hot, we're compatible. She's the best I ever dated (~50 girls).

I am an average guy, nothing out of ordinary. I lift, I read, I own my shit. Still plenty to improve, and I'm doing it every day.

I checked her phone. I found out she went out with another man a few times 2 years ago. Once a walk in a park, once a restaurant, once shopping. Lots of messages, such as "just wanted to tell you good night" or "do you like X? oh wow". After two weeks she just stopped.

No touch nor night together. We were spending every night together then, and messages clearly indicate there was nothing physical yet. Also, confirmed with her conversation with her female friend, to which she confessed.

Also, she had Tinder installed for an hour or so and deleted afterwards. Several times during our relationship.

I confronted her. At first, she was shocked and denied everything. Then she said she doesn't remember it. I was pressing and she recalled they went places but as a larger group, never just the two of them. She was very upset, crying and begging not to leave her.

After I showed her proof, she said Tinder was just to type with some random people for an hour and then delete it.

She became very emotional, crying and telling me how much she loves me, how much she want to be with me, how much she will do for me. She admitted she did something very bad.

I do believe she genuinely regrets it.

So, on one hand it's fucking cheating and I incline to just break up. But part of me thinks that maybe I should give her a chance? She is one in the million and it was just chatting with some dudes. Or maybe it's just my feelings talking.

What would you do?

Honestly? I wouldn't consider dating a female I'd previously known for a year, let alone for four years.

You know her and the relationship you both had better than we do, and I'm honestly not interested in probing into the specifics of whatever that may have been. Whether you do or don't renew the relationship is entirely up to you. You don't need our permission or approval to do so, but I wouldn't do it. I'd simply forgive her for the sake of my own mental and spiritually health, and moved on with my life.

Regardless of what choice you make, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@hawkish

Some current problems, unique situation, Christian

You are not wasting your time reading or helping me, I am extremely high IQ and put in tons of work and implement things, I am doing tons of things, and I care about truth. I am mega based and right wing. I am doing a deep dive on red pill and dating stuff next couple of months and will study for rest of my life. I'm not sure what information is helpful. Also none of this is bragging, I dont care what people think and this is hopefully anonymous, I need help thats why I'm here. Thank you for your time and efforts. Problems are at bottom.

Also this is all from a real Protestant view of things, Im not debating what women are attracted to or how the game works, but I'm not willing to do anything immoral or dishonest. I realize this may make me get worse results and make things harder but I don't care. Even Owen Cook is talking about how the church helps reinforce marriage so there are benefits. I never had an interest in sex with women who aren't chaste virgins I think it is really disgusting and harmful, however if I was allowed to having 12 wives would be nice. I also feel that if a girl isn't a chaste virgin and a real Christian I wouldn't want to give her any time or attention or commitment ever in a romantic sense. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. You could convert a girl but Christians aren't supposed to date someone who isn't Christian. If I find an exceptional girl I may put time in to that tho.

I've been red pill for like a decade or more, I've learned and digested (need to implement and digest more tho) most of manosphere stuff except MRA which I think is pointless (there will never be empathy for men unless it benefits women). I'm kinda in a weird life situation where I cant work (family has money tho) and am fat (like 40lbs overweight) due to extremely serious health problems (but finally losing it, lost a ton already) but still attract girls 20 years younger (people think im like 15 years younger, I've been a health nut for my whole life) than me up to HB7, even some real Christian girls who were virgins at marriage or have boyfriends (I hate this, I dont want them and married girls are off limits), a lot of quality Christian girls (but not attractive enough), and I rarely go out but I naturally attract up to HB7 doing nothing dressed poorly and I've only seen a few HB8s IRL cuz I don't go out.

Im not alpha I'm sigma (it explains me perfectly, I have killed the beta mostly, still working on it). I have a big social circle from church, lots of friends, like 12 people I consider "close" and a wider circle of 50+ young people, I even organize social events. I do this because of 1) Christianity tells us to fellowship and 2) to get a wife. I'm fine with 1-3 good friends and never leaving house. I also have a high standard for looks and I don't believe in 10's, no one is perfect. I'm not pretty and I dress poorly, I need to drop like 40lbs of fat but I'm extremely masculine and strong and people call me arrogant/confident (no one can read me, people act like monkeys and jump to conclusions, everyone thinks they can tell peoples motives its extremely stupid). Some girl even asked me out recently. I will buy a new wardrobe when I get back in shape. I am reading Christian RP content as well. Anything in self improvement I am probably working on. Also I'm extremely funny but I know this doesn't attract women. I'm also extremely good at reading people and social cues/body language. I have pretty high levels of inner game but my outer game is trash newbie tier.

Even when I was 18 and purple pill and half beta (bible protects you from a lot, also family taught me some stuff), had extreme negative confidence, didn't know anything about women, and dressed like crap HB6.5-7 girls were interested and forward and approached, literally getting sexual assaulted, etc. Only reason I'm not married is health problems and only like 1-2% of girls 18-24 are even worth marrying and thats not taking many factors into account.

Main Problem:

Quality Christian girls like me, girls that are pretty enough to marry like me, but not one who is both.

What I want:

A HB6.5+, real Christian, 18-24, no clot shot, chaste virgin for marriage. I know all about the risks and problems, trust me, but I don't care. There are other qualities I want but its not important for discussion. I don't know my limits I may work on myself for like a year to see what I can get as my life is finally coming together again (remember you can lose your health at any time guys, it sucks I lost mine at around 20). Ideally I'd find a HB7+ who is 18 but picking are slim. I can tell girls this age like me btw, but again they aren't HB6.5+ so I don't care. I live in an ugly and liberal area unfortunately, liberals are more ugly than conservatives.

What I need to work on:

(I've already dedicated the next year of my life to this, I can spend several hours a day on it, and have spent most of the last month doing it)

Cold approach/day game (not gonna find quality at a bar/club), learning how to dress better, going to various other churches and christian events or events where marriage material girls would be, high level social skills/psychology/spy techniques, Christian dating/vetting for wife, respect and authority and trust.

Christian/redpill marriage stuff, how to deal with finances. Ill start looking into this when I go steady with a quality girl at latest.

I work on everything else that matters basically too. Theres always skills and stuff to learn.

Current Problems:

1) Lack of job...

Essay continues here: www.forums.red/p/asktrp/324095/some_current_problems_unique_situation_christian

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Intelligent-Sir-6319

Leveling up my social status and game?

I (23 M) have been into the red pill philosophy since 2020. Since then, I’ve been consistently working on self-improvement — reading books, leveling up my social skills, understanding shit tests, staying in my frame, trying not to be a nice guy, being assertive, hitting the gym, taking care of my appearance to the point where I once reached 15% body fat, etc.

I know that’s not extremely lean, but at that point, I got a lot of attention from both women and even men, especially because I used to be obese back in high school. The way society treated me changed drastically — a full 180. People started calling me attractive, maybe because I have an angular face shape, which started to show more clearly at 15% body fat. I could've pushed to 12% if I had gone through an extreme cut, but to be honest, it was too difficult for me. Now I'm around 20% body fat (80 kg at 5'9" / 175 cm). I'm currently looking to elevate my social status even more.

I understand that women are generally attracted to high-status men — the kind who are desired by other women and respected by other men. I'm in the final semester of my studies and about to graduate. So far, I've built a solid group of male friends who respect me and are tight-knit. But I feel like I don't have many female friends who are conventionally attractive (HB 7–9). There are probably several girls in my department who secretly like me, but most of them aren't really my type (around HB 5–6). I want to level up my game by improving my social status through increasing my competence, social skills, finances after graduation, and even improving my Instagram presence (right now I only have around 330 followers).

From what I know, social status can be built by offering valuable information to your tribe, organizing social events, having resources (not to attract gold diggers — it’s just a fact that all genders value this), being a linchpin (the go-to guy in many situations), and having access to high-value individuals. I'm currently planning to apply for the special officer entrance exam for graduates. I know it might sound shallow, but in my country, police officers — especially those who start from officer ranks — tend to be respected, and many women are attracted to the stable lifestyle and benefits guaranteed by the state.

The main reason I'm choosing this path is not to attract gold diggers, but because becoming a police officer would give me life stability — with guaranteed income and benefits until old age. In my country, police also tend to have access to valuable information and build strong networks with important people, giving them access to high-value individuals. Yes, it might sound shallow, but my reasoning is based more on practicality: I won’t have to worry about getting laid off like in corporate jobs, and the position is relatively secure even if it doesn’t make me rich.

Aside from that, I’ve inherited a business from my parents that still has the potential to generate good income. I plan to run that as a side hustle once I become an officer. And since police work here isn’t as time-consuming as working in high-pressure startups, I’ll be able to allocate more time to level up my game with women and also focus on that business. I live in a third-world SEA country where most women still value and uphold the patriarchy — very different from the U.S., where feminism dominates and government workers are often made to bend to manipulative women.

With that being said, what should I start preparing now to build high social status in the police environment (assuming I make it to the officer training camp), so I can level up my game, raise my social value, befriending in high value social circles and attract or at least befriend more attractive women?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtwiAkUj5Go

@Snefsky forums.red frequently makes you log in separately from trp.red, even though it's the same username and password. It didn't use to do that, but one of the recent site updates caused this.

Back to your original question: women are absolutely ruled by their hormones, and hormonal birth control fucks with those hormones. She's probably going to act weird until her body chemistry balances back out.

You've never seen a woman right before or during her period start crying for no reason? This is probably similar.

Hell, it just hit me. Most hormonal birth control works by fooling the woman's body into thinking it's pregnant. If she suddenly stopped, she might have the hormonal root of post-partum depression without ever having given birth.

It'll probably pass. Not sure how long. When my wife got off the pill back when we got married, I don't recall her doing that. Then again, that was almost 20 years ago.