@noidea @carnold03

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@joyboy You can break down self-esteem or self-worth into several parts.

One is self-love or self-acceptance. You like who you are, you can say "Im alright the way I am". Another is self-efficacy, that oyu can affect things. That you can standup for yourself for example. I think there is more, I dont rember.

Now you could break it down and then reprogram your brain for each part with ideas from therapy. One way is cognitive: Think about times were youve got positive ffedback, things youre proud of, etc. Then tell yourself over and over that youre worth it, etc. Other way, better way...make positive expierences that bring you closer to each part of self-esteem. For example self-love - well I was about to write do things youre proud of...but the self-love has to come within without conditions, so without "I did this and that therefore, I can like myself" - for self-love it might be better to just try to accept oyurself, however that works. I dont know. For self-efficacy its easier to make experiences.

Or maybe its a deeper issue. Then try to figure that out. Thats usually a bit hard alone and easier when a therapist is sitting in front of you. They can be wrong tho or only see part of the issue. Improtant is to continue, one day you'll realize what is going on or oyu realize its gotten a lot better.

Or do fake it till I make it. If your nervous as fuck learn to speak clear still and zone out whats happening inside of you. One day it'll be easy.

I also don't take all the chances I get btw. The reason for me personally is that I just chicken out. My instant instict is to see it "approach her", but then it gets overridden by "something" (its fear at its core) and I dont do it.

You have automatic responses, like a string of thougths and/or physical reactions that execute barely in concisnous, that are triggered by events, thoughts, sub-concious thoughts, etc. You can break these automatic responses. Google it.

Have you ever gotten therapy? Something he just asks you "what do oyu think is the reason" and as long as you are 100% honest to yourself without ego involved, etc the answer should be close.

Or just find a therapist that is good and clicks with you, he can get you almost anywhere.

I dont know man, its lowkey hell actually.

@Nich2022

Anyone ever fumble a genuine good girl? Regrets

Anyone ever fumble a good girl? At the time I wanted an OLTR and she actually agreed to it . Becuase in her words, I have many other great qualities and she understands man’s need for variety. Idk how I pulled that off on a “conservative” Lol

She was a traditional conservative girl who in my eyes was a solid 8 due to natural beauty. Cooked, cleaned, wanted family, hot, fit, nurturing, etc only questionable thing was her bc which was about 10 and maybe 8 with whom she did other sexual things with (she told me this, but who knows for sure, didn’t really bother me much).

We were officially together for 2 years and dated for about 1 years before but it wasn’t all good.

We argued mainly due to my ego and wanting more from her (even though she already gave a lot). Plus, she was almost perfect besides us arguing about the OLTR stuff at times and some other things I thought was nagging.

Long story short, she got fed up and started causing issues over small things. Me being stubborn, and me not wanting to compromise much and she eventually left.

Now I’m filled with regret. I even said I’d stop the OLTR stuff (because I genuinely was getting tired of it) but that didn’t matter.

She’s in the epiphany phase. But I own up to my mistakes and tried to get her back but that pushed her away.

Has anyone ever lost a good girl in your eyes? Did you ever find someone better?

This doesn’t make me angry more so angry at myself. So no RP rage. Women are awesome and I’d love to have another experience like that. I’m well experienced with hooks up and situaionships but I’ve never connected with woman like this, and someone I could be my full self with. Maybe that’s my problem.

She moved on quick and basically became cold. I’m flabbergasted by how much we connected then now nothing.

Answer to myself: Yes it happens to the best of us. You just have to take the lessons and don’t make the same mistakes. You were comfortable with her and that’s what you’re trying to recreate. Get comfortable with yourself in the beginning with any new chick and those feelings may arise again.

"I wanted an open long term relationship and she actually agreed to it... She was a traditional conservative girl... solid eight... Cooked, cleaned, wanted family... only questionable thing was her body-count... maybe eight with whom she did other sexual things with (She told me this... didn't really bother me much)... together for over 2 years... she got fed up... and she eventually left."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9e157Ner90