@Tempsyy

Long time lurker, first post. Need harsh truth from you guys.

Met this girl, Giulia. Older (25, I'm 20). Smart, deep connection, good sex. Started during intense pastry course. Lived close, saw her every day. Became my main emotional support. My mistake, I know.

Problem: she was textbook one-itis for her ex, Thomas. Used "buying weed" as excuse to see him. Always created drama.

The cycle was fucked:

She meets ex, fucks up (cheats emotionally, physically). Comes crying to me, full of guilt. I play the "good guy", comfort her, "forgive" her. I become her emotional tampon. This shit drained me. Anxiety, no sleep. My mission (top pastry chef) was suffering.

I tried setting boundaries. Told her to cut him off. She promised, then broke promises. Classic. I broke it off, went no contact. She showed up at my work, crying, begging, kneeling. Said she loved me. Weak moment, I let her back in on "probation".

We met again. Same shit. Good morning, but then back at her place... the vibe was poison. I felt my power drain. We had sex. It was shit. Full of anxiety. I realized I was her validation machine, not her man.

My action: Cut her off completely. Blocked everywhere. Deleted number. Total ghost. It hurts like hell, but the mental clarity is already returning. I’m on a strict self-improvement protocol now: early mornings, cold showers, gym, focusing 100% on my mission. Rasated my head to reset.

My question: I know I let my empathy fuck me over. I played the savior instead of the prize. How do I prevent this emotional drain in the future? How do I build a stronger frame so a woman's chaos doesn't become my own? Trying to get back on trp, would love to have some posts or guides linked to me.

Looking for raw feedback, not sympathy. Hit me.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtwiAkUj5Go

Better to find out a female you're involved with is incompatible as early as possible, than after several years of marriage with children. The problem is that you sought validation through your relationship with a female pothead. Unfortunately, nothing good ever came of men whose self-confidence was dependent on female validation, especially undisciplined females who use drugs, legal or otherwise. Self-confidence is a result of pursuing and overcoming the various challenges of life. During which time, you come to understand what interests, drives, and motivates you. To that end, I suggest that you get yourself two sheets of paper, a pen, and sit down at a table.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest tasks, down to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, get to work. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, then start over. If you need help, ask. There's no shortage of #books we can recommend that may help you achieve your goal.

Best of luck to you.