Long time lurker, first post. Need harsh truth from you guys.

Met this girl, Giulia. Older (25, I'm 20). Smart, deep connection, good sex. Started during intense pastry course. Lived close, saw her every day. Became my main emotional support. My mistake, I know.

Problem: she was textbook one-itis for her ex, Thomas. Used "buying weed" as excuse to see him. Always created drama.

The cycle was fucked:

She meets ex, fucks up (cheats emotionally, physically). Comes crying to me, full of guilt. I play the "good guy", comfort her, "forgive" her. I become her emotional tampon. This shit drained me. Anxiety, no sleep. My mission (top pastry chef) was suffering.

I tried setting boundaries. Told her to cut him off. She promised, then broke promises. Classic. I broke it off, went no contact. She showed up at my work, crying, begging, kneeling. Said she loved me. Weak moment, I let her back in on "probation".

We met again. Same shit. Good morning, but then back at her place... the vibe was poison. I felt my power drain. We had sex. It was shit. Full of anxiety. I realized I was her validation machine, not her man.

My action: Cut her off completely. Blocked everywhere. Deleted number. Total ghost. It hurts like hell, but the mental clarity is already returning. I’m on a strict self-improvement protocol now: early mornings, cold showers, gym, focusing 100% on my mission. Rasated my head to reset.

My question: I know I let my empathy fuck me over. I played the savior instead of the prize. How do I prevent this emotional drain in the future? How do I build a stronger frame so a woman's chaos doesn't become my own? Trying to get back on trp, would love to have some posts or guides linked to me.

Looking for raw feedback, not sympathy. Hit me.

@hiteleven

1yr LTR, broke up, accused of rape, arrested, she still wants to see me

Met this girl through friends of friends, she was from NZ but living in the UK, had a 1 year LTR, i couldn't cum for six months, that made the relationship rocky. she was mega mega insecure, hated me jerking off, thought i would flirt with others, never did.

Anyway we broke up a few weeks ago, it was nasty, she was going through my phone like normal and saw a photo of a girl i ss on my phone and she blew up on me, i decided to end it then and she kept hitting me up saying she was gonna kys etc, the next day she came to my city (which she never wanted to visit during the LTR), got drunk in a park and got her dumb ass hospitalised. then reported me for rape,

I got arrested and spent the night in jail, luckily common sense prevailed in this dumb bitch and she dropped the charges a week later because she wouldn't do a video interview.

The fine ass police detective handling my case was saying she still wants to see me, but i can get her done for harassment if she keeps trying to reach out, this baddie even came over to my house to drop my phone off instead of making me go to the cop station.

I just wanted to rant because i let my frame slip so fucking bad in my first relationship, lesson learnt, i did wanna see this bitch like one a week max but i ended up practically living in my car and getting hotels 3days/week to see her.

So glad its over now, practically wasted a year, graduated uni but no job, because we spent all our time fighting, low on funds because that bitch was expensive, (like 16k over the year) but tryna find my groove, need to hit gym, already working on my side hustle and the moneys rolling in

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@AncientSpartan

Getting numbers constantly but can't close - what am I doing wrong?

27M bartender at a high volume sports bar in a major city in the USA. Tall, model level looks (not trolling or trying to be arrogant but I am a former model), white/chad archetype.

Not trying to brag but giving full context: I get hit on constantly at work. Girls flirting, laughing at my jokes, and I get at least one number per shift without even asking. They literally give ME their number.

Here's the problem - in 3 months working there, I haven't closed with a single one. Not one. Every plate I am currently spinning was obtained via cold approach at bars AS A CUSTOMER/Hinge/Tinder.

Is it just girls being tipsy and regretting it after? Because it's weird as fuck that they'd go out of their way to give me their number but then it fizzles out.

Example: last weekend got two cute blonde 20-somethings' numbers. We texted during and right after my shift, decent back and forth, then... nothing. Conversation dies. Deleted both numbers to move on.

I've been bartending for years and this keeps happening at this specific bar. Clearly I have the "on paper" stats - the initial attraction is there. So what's the issue?

Is my texting game shit? Am I not escalating fast enough? Not pushing for meetups soon enough?

Need actionable advice here because this pattern is getting frustrating.

It's probably for the best that fate's been oddly working against you to your benefit here. If the bars you work at are bad places to recruit new plates, then stick with ones where you're a patron.

Otherwise, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@lambOfGod

Bitch being cold

So I had this plate for almost 2 months. First month, sex was great, made her cum and squirt countless time with my cock. She's been texting me good morning every day since we met up and we agreed to date exclusively to see where this goes.

For the last 2 weeks, this bitch started to tone herself down on the affection and excitement she's been offering me and always used to be very sexual with me on all media, including when we met up.

She rarely tells me anything sexually related and she has stopped initiating sex (she used to tell me how horny she was and that I should come over) and when I tell her something sexual, she just giggles or sends some bitch ass emojis.

My senses are on alert since I believe this bitch is seeing another fag. So I've started building up on leads, I have 2 girls I'm supposed to see this week behind her back. On the weekends if she doesn't come up with a proposal to come over or to see each other (because I'm the only one who initiated until now and I want to see if she does this) I'll go salsa dancing.

This bitch wants to text with me a lot, but I don't like this, since I want to fucking see her but I want to see if she can show interest by fucking initiating for once (she actually already did this in the past by telling me to come over or that we should see each other).

I started to withdraw my attention through texting and gone cold and she asked me what's wrong and why am I being cold. I told her I am not that talkative through texts. She responded by saying "is this a subtle way to tell me this because we haven't seen each other this week?". So this fucking bitch knows what's up but she does not want to act on it and see me. I went cold on her responding with "There are alternative ways to texting" she said "Ok" and I left her on read.

I am planning to not contact her until she either calls me or asks to see me. You have to understand that this bitch went from 24/7 horny sex to cold ass shit. So my bells instantly went on high alert.

I've already planned an aggressive hunt for girls until the end of the week by going out and OLD, to keep my mind off of her, fuck something else cause I have fucking needs, and build some other plates.

Am I fucking insane, clingy or controlling?

Honestly, if you haven't been physically violent with this chick, I'd just as soon write you off as just some idiot with one-itis and delusions of self worth. Six weeks with you is all this girl needed to lose her interest. Reads like you took it very poorly when you probably should've backed off and resumed dating other girls instead. As you plan to stop contacting her, it's probably for the best. Neither of you lose anything if you go your separate ways. It frees you to spend time on other people, things, and yourself.

In the meantime, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.